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All couples and potential couples have their doubts from time to time.

所有情侶和可能變情侶的人，偶爾都會有他們的疑問。

It's only natural to ask ourselves whether we´re with the right person.

詢問自己是否跟對的人在一起，是非常自然的。

So are you needlessly worrying or is there really something wrong with the relationship?

你的擔心是非必要的，還是關係真的出了問題？

Here are seven signs you may be with the wrong person.

這裏有七個徵兆，顯示你可能跟錯的人在一起。

1. You're constantly unhappy.

第一，你常常不開心。

Remember loving relationships are supposed to be some of the most enjoyable parts of life.

要記得，有愛的關係應該是生活中很被享受的部分。

If you are constantly unhappy while in a relationship, you may be with the wrong person.

如果你常常在關係裡不開心，你可能跟錯的人在一起了。

This is especially true if you're feeling unhappy, even when you're hanging out together and going on dates.

如果你常常不開心，儘管你們正混在一起玩，或出去約會，就真的是跟錯的人在一起了。

2. You're experiencing high levels of stress.

第二，你有很高程度的壓力。

Aside from feeling unhappy, relationships can also be a source of stress for many people.

除了感到不開心外，關係對很多人而言，也可能是壓力來源。

While it's natural to worry about our relationships from time to time, there comes a point when the stress becomes a cause for alarm.

偶爾擔心關係很正常，但到了一個程度時，就需要注意你的壓力了。

Ask yourself whether the relationship is making you feel relaxed or whether the scale is being tipped more towards anxiety and worry.

詢問自己這段關係是否讓你放鬆，或是它比較讓你傾向焦慮和擔心。

3. Your expectations are not being met.

第三，你的期待並未被實現。

Everyone has their own vision of what a perfect partner is.

每個人都有關於完美伴侶的想像。

Inevitably they end up modifying those expectations to fit the partners that we meet, but how much are you willing to compromise?

無可避免地，最後都得修改那些期望來合乎實際在一起的對象，但你願意妥協多少呢？

According to ideas explored in the developmental course of marital dysfunction, couples naturally adapt their expectations and come to terms with the fact that they're not quite with their dream partners.

經過婚姻問題的發展過程中的意見，情侶會自然地更改他們的期望，漸漸適應他們並沒有跟夢中情人在一起的事實。

If you can't see yourself adapting to your partner's negative traits, then you might be with the wrong person.

如果你不覺得自己能接受伴侶的負面特質，你可能跟錯的人在一起了。

4. You knew there were problems at the very beginning.

第四，你從一開始就知道有問題。

On that same note, couples are usually willing to adapt to each other during the initial stages of the relationship.

在這個基準上，在關係剛開始時，情侶一般都很願意接受彼此。

Research has shown that people naturally ignore each other's negative traits during the initial courtship phase.

研究顯示，在關係剛萌芽時，人們都會自然地忽略彼此的負面特質。

In many cases, people willingly ignore serious and obvious personality flaws.

很多例子中，人們甘心地忽略嚴重且明顯的個性缺陷。

Think back to the beginning of the relationship and ask yourself whether you noticed negative traits that have become more prominent and noticeable as the relationship advanced.

回想關係剛開始的階段，並問自己，是否有注意到負面特質，而在關係進展下，那些特質變得更重大且明顯。

You could be coming out of the honeymoon phase and starting to notice serious issues that were previously sidestepped.

你可能已經過了熱戀期，並開始注意到以前迴避的嚴重問題。

5. Your gut tells you something is off, but you can't seem to pinpoint it.

第五，你的直覺告訴你事情不對勁，但你無法確定是什麼事。

Sometimes it's best to listen to your instincts, being able to explain to yourself or your partner why you don't feel content isn't always essential.

有時聽從直覺是最好的，可以向自己或伴侶解釋為何不滿意，並不總是那麼重要。

If you feel a nagging constant voice telling you that you're with the wrong person, you might want to listen to that voice.

如果你一直覺得心裡有碎碎念的聲音，告訴自己你並沒有跟對的人在一起，你可能要聽從這個聲音。

Although our subconscious mind can often point us in the right direction, its messages don't necessarily form coherent words and signs.

儘管我們的潛意識通常能指向正確方向，它的訊息並不總是來自連貫的話語和徵兆。

Sometimes it's best to simply listen to your gut.

有時聽從直覺是最好的。

6. Your partner doesn't seem very conscientious.

第六，你的伴侶並不是很有道德感。

A 2004 study published by the Journal of Family Psychology attempted to link certain personality traits with marital satisfaction.

根據家庭心理雜誌於 2004 年的研究，他們試圖把特定人格特質和婚姻滿意度連結在一起。

Researchers found a connection between a number of personality traits and unsatisfied couples. And one trait was lowered conscientiousness.

研究人員發現一些人格特質會造成不開心的情侶，而低落的責任感就是其中一項。

Additional traits linked with dissatisfaction included high neuroticism and lowered agreeableness.

其他造成不滿的特質，還有情緒高度不穩和低落的親和性。

If you're starting to wonder whether you might be with the wrong person, you might want to ask yourself whether or not your partner has any of these traits.

如果你開始覺得自己是否跟錯的人在一起，你可能會想問問自己，你的伴侶是否有這些特質。

Low levels of conscientiousness?

低程度的責任感？

Should be fairly obvious.

應該會很明顯。

In other words, lazy people may not be the best partner, but if you're one of them, it doesn't mean that you can't change.

換句話說，懶散的人可能也不是最好的伴侶，但如果你是懶散的人，不代表你不能改變。

7. You're too similar.

第七，你們太像了。

You've probably heard the old saying opposites attract, but is there any science behind this?

你可能聽過老諺語，異類相吸，但背後的科學道理是什麼？

A 2007 study found a greater overall personality similarities do have an effect on relationships and not necessarily positive ones.

一個 2007 年的研究發現，情侶整體而言個性上非常相似，會對關係造成影響，但不見得是好的影響。

As similar couples spend more time together, the data suggests that a downward slope is more likely compared to couples who have very different personalities.

儘管相似的情侶會花更多時間相處，資料顯示比起一對很不同的情侶，他們可能會走下坡。

Researchers also found that couples who had similar levels of extraversion were even more likely to experience dissatisfaction down the road.

研究人員也發現，有相似程度外向特質的情侶，可能更容易在情路上感到不滿。

Other possible signs can include not showing the same values.

其他可能的徵兆包括沒有相同價值觀。

You don't feel like you can be you around them or something just feels off.

你不覺得在他們身邊可以做自己，或有些事情就是不對勁。

But at the end of the day only you can decide whether or not you're with the right or wrong person.

但到最後，只有你能決定你是不是跟對的人在一起。

As we mentioned previously, sometimes you just have to listen to your gut and follow your emotions.

跟上述的相同，有時你就是得聽從直覺，跟著你的情緒走。

While these points can point us in the right direction, it's important to find your own reasons for making such a big decision.

雖然這些觀點可以給我們正確方向，但找到自己做重大決定的理由是很重要的。

Did you enjoy this video?

你喜歡這支影片嗎？

Can you relate to any of these signs?

你可以感同身受嗎？