Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

  • -[ Babbling ]

  • -[ Scat singing ]

  • -Alright. -[ Scat singing ]

  • -Alright, uh. Alright. Now, you wanna do one?

  • -Yes. -Go.

  • -♪ Da, da, da, da

  • -♪ Ba ah ah ah ah oh ♪ -♪ Da, da, da, da

  • Frannie, stop!

  • I don't like that one! -♪ Da, da, da, da

  • -Frannie! -♪ Da, da, da, da

  • Da, da, da, da

  • -Frannie, stop! -[ Laughing ]

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -It's been -- It's been -- I know. It's great.

  • But, you guys, we've been quarantined for how long, now?

  • I need a haircut.

  • -♪ Da, da, da, da ♪ -I need a haircut.

  • I'm gonna get one this weekend.

  • -Frannie, stop!

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -♪ Da, da, da, da

  • Da, da, da, da

  • -Frannie, stop!

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Alright, let's start the show. [ Crickets chirping ]

  • Let's start the show. Crickets.

  • Let's start the show. -Okay.

  • -♪ We in the house

  • Come on! ♪

  • -Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests...

  • ♪♪

  • ...Dwayne Johnson...

  • ♪♪

  • ...Daveed Diggs;

  • musical guests The Head and the Heart;

  • and the legendary Roots crew.

  • It's "The Tonight Show At Home Edition."

  • -♪ We in the house, y'all

  • -And, now, here's Jimmy.

  • -Welcome to the "Tonight Show At Home Edition," everybody.

  • Let's get to some news.

  • Happy Friday.

  • Guys, New York's stay-at-home order

  • was scheduled to end today,

  • but Governor Cuomo just extended it until June 13th.

  • For New Yorkers, it felt like

  • when a Zoom meeting is about to end

  • and then, someone asks a question.

  • "Oh, well, I --"

  • [ Whispering ] We're almost --

  • We're almost there.

  • That's right, New York's stay-at-home order

  • has been extended until June 13th.

  • Asked why June 13th, Cuomo said,

  • "'Cause there's no way we could stop crowds

  • from celebrating Flag Day on June 14th."

  • Mayor de Blasio said that New York City beaches

  • are just not ready to open.

  • But, if you wanna experience New York City beaches,

  • just throw your towel over some shattered beer bottles

  • and old cigarette butts

  • and then, let a bunch of pigeons

  • come over and eat your food.

  • I read that McCarran Airport in Las Vegas

  • now has vending machines with face masks

  • and hand sanitizer and other PPE products.

  • It'll be just like those Best Buy vending machines,

  • except people will use these.

  • [ New York accent ] Uh, honey, before we get on the flight,

  • do you have any monster cables to go in the HDMI port?

  • What?! Honey, g-give me

  • 6,000 quarters.

  • Some TV news -- CBS announced

  • that they are airing a "Grease" sing-along in June.

  • You can tell TV networks are desperate for content

  • 'cause, right after that,

  • CBS is airing a "Grease 2" sing-along.

  • I've never seen "Grease 2."

  • -No way.

  • -Never seen it.

  • -It's not "Grease" one.

  • -Nope. I just refuse to --

  • I just had so much fun with "Grease."

  • Leave it at that. -Some people love "Grease 2."

  • -Some people love "Grease 2," yeah, sure.

  • Some people like "Godfather III."

  • -True. -Yeah.

  • -Some do.

  • -I saw that Disney Theatrical Productions

  • announced that "Frozen" will not reopen on Broadway

  • after the pandemic.

  • That's probably a good call. After months of quarantine,

  • even kids are like, "Ah, let it go. Let it go."

  • I loved "Frozen"!

  • "Hygge"! -Yeah.

  • -Agh!

  • So many talented people in that play.

  • -Mm-hmm.

  • -Maybe we can get them to do "Hygge."

  • They were supposed to come on our show.

  • If you don't know the Broadway version of "Frozen," it's great.

  • But, there's a song on there called "Hygge"

  • that's really funny.

  • So, maybe we can get them to do that for, I don't know.

  • Anyway, we loved it.

  • Check this out -- Netflix is making a new movie

  • starring Mark Wahlberg as a "blue-collar 007."

  • I'm in.

  • The movie is one hour of him saving the world

  • [ Laughs ] and another where he just

  • smokes behind a home depot.

  • [ Laughs, snorts ]

  • That sounds exciting.

  • [ Boston accent ] Can I have a Samuel Adams?

  • Don't shake it or stir it!

  • Swimsuit companies are now coming out with trikinis,

  • which are two-piece bathing suits

  • and a matching face mask.

  • Take a look at this.

  • Interesting, interesting.

  • But, if you're a little more modest

  • and wanna be extra safe, then they have this one-piece.

  • [ Laughing ] I think that looks --

  • I think that looks great, and fashionable.

  • I read that, because of quarantine

  • and everyone staying home,

  • pants sales have rapidly declined.

  • That's right, nobody's buyin' pants.

  • I think the industry is just getting a little desperate.

  • Take a look at this commercial I just saw.

  • -What up, peeps?

  • You know what the dope new trend is that's straight fire?

  • That's right, pants!

  • Pa-pa-pants!

  • It's a new world, but pants are the OG

  • and so dope!

  • -That's totally dope!

  • -So, say, "Bye, Felicia," to pajamas

  • and straight-up chillax in all the lit styles,

  • like jeans. -Yasss!

  • -Corduroy. -Yolo!

  • -Chino. -Lit AF.

  • -And khaki.

  • -Jake from State Pants!

  • [ Sad trombone ] -Don't be a noob and buy shorts.

  • Pants are the GOAT.

  • -Aaaaaaah!

  • -Paid for by the National Pants Council.

  • -I'll buy 'em.

  • I'm in.

  • Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pants!

  • Listen to this -- I read that grocery stores

  • are now facing a temporary mushroom shortage.

  • When he heard this, Mario was like --

  • [ As Mario ] This is no good.

  • Mushrooms are my Viagra.

  • And, finally, I heard about a woman in England

  • who closed her flower shop 'cause of the virus,

  • but moved 12,000 plants inside her house

  • to keep her business going.

  • Yep, 12,000 plants.

  • Or as Seth Rogen calls that,

  • a weekend.

  • Ah-ha-ha!

  • That's our monologue, right there.

  • It's time for "Thank You Notes," everybody.

  • [ Funk sting plays ]

  • Hey, guys, today is Friday.

  • That's usually when I send in my personal --

  • [ Laughs quietly ]

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Laughing ] Today is Friday.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Today is Friday and that's usually when I send out my --

  • -[ Blows raspberry ]

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -...my thank-you notes.

  • [ Fart ]

  • -[ Blows raspberry ]

  • -Anyway, so, I'm gonna send out

  • my weekly thank-you notes right now, okay?

  • Ready? Here we go.

  • Can I get some thank-you note writing music, please?

  • -Now? [ Piano plays poignant tune ]

  • -Yes. ♪♪

  • Thank you, Shanghai Disneyland,

  • for reopening this week.

  • It's a lotta fun, until Pinocchio

  • stands out front, saying, "It's totally safe in here,"

  • [ Laughing ] and his nose grows three feet.

  • Next one. -[ Laughs ]

  • -Thank you, people who got into the tiny house trend,

  • for 1,000% regretting that decision right now.

  • Good.

  • Go.

  • Thank you... -[ Babbling ]

  • -...shortages of meat and eggs,

  • for explaining McDonald's newest breakfast sandwich --

  • the McBread.

  • -Whoo-hoo!

  • Whoo-hoo.

  • -[ Laughs ] -The music, please.

  • -Whoo-hoo!

  • ♪♪ -Ready? -Whoo-hoo!

  • -Thank you, -[ Laughs ]

  • -Like this? -Yep. Tim Kaine,

  • for wearing a bandanna at a hearing

  • and looking like the leader of a motorcycle gang

  • called the Hell's Uncles.

  • -[ Babbling ]

  • -There are so many chairs here!

  • -Thank you, Uber buying Grubhub,

  • for being this week's second-most confusing phrase

  • for grandparents, after "Quibi, now Roku-compatible."

  • -[ Babbling ]

  • [ Laughs ]

  • -Go. -Ba ba!

  • Ba ba!

  • -[ Raising voice ] Thank you, travel books

  • on my bookshelf, for letting me know

  • the best tapas restaurant in Portugal

  • [ Laughing ] in 1997.

  • -[ Babbling ]

  • -Thank you, curbside pickup.

  • -Ready? -Yep.

  • Go.

  • Music, please. Can I --

  • Thank you, curbside pickup ♪♪

  • and drive-in movie theaters.

  • Now, all I need is to surf down a dinosaur tail

  • to re-create the opening of "The Flintstones."

  • [ Laughs ]

  • Go. -[ Blowing raspberries ]

  • Thank you, slow rollout,

  • for describing both the reopening of businesses

  • and how I get out of bed

  • over the course of four hours each day.

  • Go.

  • Music, please.

  • [ Raising voice ] Thank you, self-care,

  • for sounding much nicer than "Eating Cheetos in the bath."

  • There you go, everybody. That's our "Thank You Notes."

  • Thank you very much.

  • Thank you guys for really helping me out.

  • Now, it's time to go play now.

  • Thank you so much.

  • Hey, guys, we have a great show tonight.

  • Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is

  • [ Clapping ] on the show tonight.

  • "Titan Games"!

  • Dwayne Johnson in the house.

  • We also have Daveed Diggs, who talks

  • about the new "Hamilton" coming out on Disney+,

  • plus "Snowpiercer."

  • He's got a lot to talk about.

  • And also, music is The Head and the Heart.

  • Just a talented group.

  • I love those guys.

  • Out of Seattle, I believe.

  • Guys, today we have something to talk about --

  • walgreens.com/rednoseday.

  • I wrote this.

  • I was thinking about maybe faking

  • like one of the girls drew it, but they just didn't feel --

  • They drew wish.org for Dwayne

  • and I said, "Can't you just put some color into it?"

  • 'Cause it was just pencil.

  • And so -- I don't know if you could see --

  • Winnie put blue pencil over the other pencil.

  • It's still pencil.

  • -It's Friday. -I understand,

  • but, still, it's like --

  • Anyways, I drew this --

  • walgreens.com/rednoseday.

  • -Looks like Winnie's. -It does, yeah, but I -- well.

  • [ Laughing ] She learns from the best, you know?

  • Red Nose Day. You know I love Red Nose Day.

  • Walgreens is continuing its tradition by,

  • if you make the purchase, you also get a digital red nose.

  • So, do that.

  • If you go to the website, it would help children in need.

  • It fight poverty in children

  • and Walgreens said that, the first $100,000 tonight,

  • they will match $100,000.

  • If you make a donation, tonight, to Red Nose Day

  • and get that digital red nose, they will match up to $100,000.

  • Thank you so much, Walgreens.

  • I do appreciate that.

  • Ladies and gentlemen, I noticed, a lot of times,

  • when people do these interviews on Zoom

  • and different things for shows,

  • there's one thing they all have in common

  • and I think you'll agree with me when you see this next video.

  • Check it out.

  • -♪ So, you're goin' on TV

  • And you wanna look smart

  • You can stand in front of walls

  • Or maybe some art

  • But that is not the vibe

  • That is not the right look

  • What you really need behind you

  • Is a shelf full of books

  • Show us your books

  • Bill Gates

  • Show us your books

  • Anderson Cooper

  • Show us your books

  • Gloria Estefan

  • Point the camera at your head

  • But also those books

  • They make you look intelligent

  • They make you seem astute

  • You could be director

  • Of the Smart Guy Institute

  • No one is as sharp as you

  • You run 'em all in circles

  • You're basically an iTAN

  • With a dash of Steve Urkel

  • Show us your books

  • Marco Rubio

  • Show us your books

  • Michelle Obama

  • Show us your books

  • Roger Goodell

  • Don't matter what you say

  • Just show us those books

  • So line up all your volumes

  • On the laws of Korea

  • When you gotta know something

  • You choose Wikipedia

  • These things are for show

  • You're no biblio lover

  • In this particular case

  • We judge a book by its cover

  • Show us your books

  • Madeleine Albright

  • Show us your books

  • Bernie Sanders

  • Show us your books

  • Jimmy Fallon

  • We're gonna make it through this

  • Just show us those books

-[ Babbling ]

字幕與單字

單字即點即查 點擊單字可以查詢單字解釋

B1 中級

今夜秀》。在家版(給我們看你的書) (The Tonight Show: At Home Edition (Show Us Your Books))

  • 9 0
    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
影片單字