He's a piece of shit.

他是一個渾帳。

What?

什麼？

Mike doesn't have jack shit to do today, and his nana obviously isn't sick.

Mike 今天根本啥事都沒有，而且很明顯地他奶奶沒有生病。

I guarantee you, him and Lucas are playing Atari right now.

我保證，他跟 Lucas 現在一定在玩 Atari 。

But friends don't lie.

但是朋友之間不會說謊。

Yeah, well, boyfriends lie.

是啊，但是男友會。

All the time.

總是會。

She knows I'm lying.

她知道我在說謊。

She knows I'm lying.

她知道我在說謊。

I don't even understand.

我不懂。

Why lie?

為甚麼要說謊。

Hopper, he threatened me.

Hopper ，他威脅我。

Did he say he'd kill you?

他有說他會把你幹掉嗎？

What? No.

什麼？才沒有。

So what's the big deal?

所以這到底有什麼大不了？

The big deal is if I don't do what he says, then he'll stop me from seeing El, like permanently.

重點是如果我沒有照著他的意思做，他就會永久地禁止我跟 El 見面。

You don't understand, Lucas.

你不懂， Lucas 。

He's crazy.

他瘋了。

He's lost his mind.

他神智不清了。

Hey guys, I'm almost set up here.

各位，我這邊差不多弄好了。

I had no choice, Lucas.

Lucas 我沒有選擇。

I really had no choice.

我真的沒有選擇的餘地。

I just wish you consulted me because the way you handled this...

我只是希望你可以事前和我商量，因為你處理這件事的方法......

You're in deep shit.

實在是太爛了。

You're going to stop calling him.

你要阻止自己打電話給他。

You're going to ignore his calls.

你要無視他的電話。

As far as you're concerned, he doesn't exist.

至少對你而言，他等於不存在。

Doesn't exist?

不存在？

He treated you like garbage.

他把你當垃圾一樣對待。

You're gonna treat him like garbage.

你也要把他當垃圾一樣對待。

Give him a taste of his own medicine.

以其人之道，還治其人之身。

Give him the medicine.

給他藥。

And if he doesn't fix this, if he doesn't explain himself, dump his ass.

如果他沒有處理好這個問題或親自來解釋，修理他。

I'm not gonna lie.

我不會說謊的。

It's gonna be bad.

這件事只會變糟。

So, what do you think?

所以，你覺得怎麼樣？

Hey, what's wrong?

怎麼了嗎？

Too many people.

太多人了。

Against the rules.

這樣違反規則。

Seriously?

你在開玩笑嗎？

You have superpowers.

你有超能力。

What's the worst that could happen?

有什麼更糟的事會發生？

So what should we do first?

所以我們應該先做什麼？

You've never been shopping before, have you?

你以前沒有逛街、買東西過，對吧？

Well, then I guess we're just gonna have to try everything.

我想，那我們就試試看每樣東西吧！

Oh, come on.

來吧！

Do you like that?

你喜歡這件嗎？

How do I know what I like?

我要怎麼知道我喜歡什麼？

You just try things on until you find something that feels like you.

你就一直試穿，試到你覺得這件衣服根本就是你自己。

Like me?

像我自己？

Yeah.

對啊！

Not Hopper, not Mike.

不是 Hopper，也不是 Mike 。

You.

就是你自己。

You must be an angel.

你一定是個天使。

I can see it in your eyes.

我可以在你眼中看到。

Full of wonder and surprise.

眼中充滿驚奇。

And just now I realize.

直到剛剛我才明白。

Oh, you found Ralph Macchio.

喔，你看到 Ralph Macchio 了。

Macchio?

Macchio ？

Yeah, he's the Karate Kid.

對啊，他就是小子難纏那部電影裡的主角。

He's so hot, right?

他超性感，對吧？

I bet he's an amazing kisser, too.

我跟你賭，他一定也吻功一流。

Hey, uh, is Mike a good kisser?

嘿， Mike 的吻功如何？

I don't know.

我不知道。

He's my first boyfriend.

他是我第一任男友。

Ex-boyfriend.

前男友。

Hey, don't worry about it, okay?

嘿，不要擔心這些好嗎？

He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness.

他一定會馬上爬回你身邊，懇求你的原諒。

I guarantee you, him and Lucas are like totally wallowing in self pity and misery by going, "Oh, I hope they take us back."

我保證，他跟 Lucas 一定沉浸在無盡的自憐和悲傷中並說：「嗚嗚，我希望她們回到我們身邊。」

God, what I wouldn't give to see their stupid faces.

神啊，真可惜我不能看到他們的蠢臉。

What is it?

你想到了什麼？

Is this really gonna work?

這樣真的會成功嗎？

Holy shit, this is insane.

太扯了，這太瘋狂了。

Max.

Max 。

Yeah, quiet, sorry.

對，要保持安靜，抱歉。

What did I do wrong?

我做錯了什麼？

I don't know.

我不知道。

But what did I do wrong?

但是我到底做錯了甚麼？

What could I have done wrong?

我怎麼會做錯？

Mike, please, do I have to go through this again?

Mike 拜託，我不要再聽你鬼打牆了。

I see them.

我看到他們了。

What are they doing?

他們在幹嘛？

Eating.

吃東西。

I just don't understand what I did to deserve this.

我只是不懂我做了什麼要被這樣對待。

Nothing.

你沒有做錯。

That's my whole point.

我剛剛就這樣告訴你了。

You're the victim here.

你是這件事的受害者。

I know, it's just why is she treating me this way?

我知道，但是我想不通為什麼她要這樣對我。

I don't know.

我不知道。

Mike.

Mike 。

What did I do wrong?

我做錯了什麼?

- What did I do wrong？ - Mike, stop.

- 我做錯了什麼？ - Mike，停下來。

Relax.

放鬆。

Just relax.

放輕鬆。

Okay, stop asking irrational questions.

好，不要再問不理性的問題了。

I know.

我知道。

You're right.

你是對的。

Because women act on emotion and not logical.

因為女人靠感情行事而且毫無邏輯。

Precisely.

精準而言。

It's a totally different species.

女人是一個完全不一樣的「物種」。

They say we are species.

他們說我們是「物種」。

What?

什麼？

Emotion, not logic.

靠感情行事而且毫無邏輯。

What?

什麼？

Guys, it's ready.

各位，是時候了。

Will, not right now.

Will ，現在不要說這個。

They broke up with you.

她們和你們分手了。

What else is there to talk about?

還有什麼好說的？

Tons.

還有很多要說的。

Yeah, we're trying to solve the great mystery of the female species.

對，我們正在解決女性這個「物種」的謎團。

Dude, you can smell the nacho cheese.

兄弟，你可以聞到起司玉米脆片的味道。

I got that beat.

我也有點感覺。

What?

什麼？

Oh, no.

喔不。

No, Lucas, no.

不， Lucas 不要。

No.

不。

Lucas!

Lucas ！

Oh god!

天啊。

What happened?

發生什麼事了？

Who is that?

那是誰？

See, this is why you can't just hang out with Mike all the time.

看，這就是為什麼你不能總是跟 Mike 黏在一起的原因。

This is Wonder Woman, A.K.A. Princess Diana.

這是神力女超人，也就是 Diana 公主。

She's from Paradise Island, which is like this hidden island where there are only women Amazon warriors.

她從天堂島來，這個隱密的小島上只有女亞馬遜戰士。