Name: 停止戰系！選主修真的超難 (Choosing Majors is Hard)
Uploaded: 2018-10-10T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 3 min 42 s

程度副詞

Okay, almost time to register for my freshman year classes.

I've got my coffee, my orientation packet,

and my awesome Wi-Fi from Xfinity making sure nothing goes wrong.

還有 Xfinity 超讚的 Wi-Fi，讓一切都不會出錯

Now I just gotta figure out what to take.

Good morrow, Jennifer. Come to learn more about English.

早安 (古英文招呼用法)，Jennifer。來多學點英國文學

Well venture no further. Spend your days reciting poetry

開啟好的冒險之旅吧！花時間背誦詩集

and debating which shades of blue represent melancholy.

Well, I love to read and I do wish more people notice that about me.

嗯，我喜歡閱讀並也希望更多人注意到

And notice they shall!  For each day in the English department

他們必須知道！你在英文系的每天

brings a new chance to opine openly on the wonders of Chaucer.

都有機會在英國詩人 Chaucer 的傳奇中悠遊

Or to add a page to your next great American novel

或是能在你下個偉大美國小說中增添新的篇章

Give me a break! People aren't going to read the next great American novel.

放過我吧！人們不會想唸美國的下一步經典小說

We're in the golden age of television, kid.

我們身在電視的黃金年代啊，孩子

Yeah and maybe I could take a class where I can make a movie.

對耶，或是我該選堂我能學製作一部電影的課

電影？真正的藝術家都稱作劇情片

真正的藝術家才不管 movie 跟 film 的差別

Real artists only write and perform sonnets.

真正的藝術家指創作並朗誦十四行詩

Okay okay, well maybe I should learn a more practical skill

好吧好吧，也許我應該學點實務技能

something that could lead to a stable job.

學些出來能找到穩定工作的東西

Do you really think that Shakespeare worried about jobs?

你真認為莎士比亞曾擔心過工作嗎？

Computer Science? I don't remember looking this up.

電腦科學？我不記得我查過這系

Really? Nah, you just forgot you open this tab.

真假？沒啦，你只是忘記你開了這個頁面

Computer Science can help you get an internship at one of those places.

電腦科學能幫你在那些員工騎摩托車上班、還有室內溜滑梯

where they ride around on scooters and have indoor slide.

Why settle for being tech support when you could be the face of the company?

當你可以當公司的門面時，為什麼要接受靠科技來加持啊？

In the business school, professors come straight from the boardroom to the classroom.

在商學院，教授們直接從會議室走進教室

Cute. What do you even learn in business classes? Spreadsheet maintenance?

好棒棒。你還能在商業課學到什麼？試算表系統維護嗎？

Not exactly. Studying business will help you with the three Ms.

才不是。讀商可以幫助你學到 3 M 法則

Money, making connections and moving out of your parents house.

錢、建立連結並搬出你父母的房子

Sorry, hope my quest for the cure to every disease ever

抱歉，希望我尋求治癒所有疾病的的出現

didn't interrupt Little Miss Pyramid scheme over there.

沒打斷這位金字塔頂端女士的計謀

Well, I do love Science... - What's not to love?

嗯，我是喜歡科學啦...-怎能不愛？

You spend all day in a lab starting small but contained fires.

你花整天在實驗室，從小火花做起

and then one day Boom! You just made a vaccine that's gonna save half the world.

接著有天，砰一下！你就做出能救半個世界的疫苗

那這個世界又是什麼？(嘆息聲)

This world we speak of, do humans need to save it?

我們在講的這個世界，人類需要去拯救嗎？

或是這是我們自己造成的？-呃，是嗎？不對

Yes, exactly. Yes. No. These are the profound questions you'll ask yourself.

正解。一下對。又不對。這些正是你會問自己的深奧問題

Don't listen to this Plato wannabe. Study Computer Science

別聽這個想成為柏拉圖的人鬼扯。去唸電腦科學

and you can invent an app that invents other Apps for you.

你就可以開發能為你設計更多應用程式的 App

Or you could pick me and save the world from the next epidemic.

或你能選我，並讓世界免於下個傳染病

No, pick me and save the world from the next epidemic of bad cinema.

不，選我並讓世界免於爛劇之災

What about money? - What even is money, you know?

那錢怎麼辦？-錢又是什麼，你知道嗎？

Jenny, Jenny. Over here. Jenny, come on. Stop! -Done.

Jenny, Jenny。來這邊。Jenny，過來嘛。停！-好了。

All of you. I can be undecided until sophomore year. See you guys in the Fall!

全部啦。我可以到大二再選主修啦。秋天見囉！

Oh yeah. Sure. One second. Just got a smaller smoke of chemical fire.

噢好耶。當然。等一下。剛有個迷你化學火災的煙啦

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停止戰系！選主修真的超難 (Choosing Majors is Hard)

awesome

debate

profound

straight