Name: 瑪麗亞·班福特：早上九點是單口喜劇最棒的時段！ (Maria Bamford: 9:00AM Is The Best Time For Stand-Up Comedy)
Uploaded: 2026-03-04T17:37:43.000Z
Duration: 8 min 15 s

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, folks, my next guest tonight is by my lights, the funniest comedian in the world.

各位觀眾大家好，今晚我的來賓，在我看來，是全世界最有趣的喜劇演員。

You know her from Lady Dynamite, Arrested Development and her stand up specials.

你們可能從 Lady Dynamite、Arrested Development 和她的單口喜劇特輯認識她。

祈使句型

Please welcome back to the late show, Maria Bamford.

你知道妳是我最喜歡的喜劇演員。

You haven't been on the show since 2023, so it's possible I'm lying now.

你自從 2023 年就沒上過節目了，所以現在我可能在唬爛。

Well, I hope, like everybody here, I've been protesting against the state of and.

嗯，我希望，就像這裡的每個人一樣，我一直在抗議關於...的狀況。

And I was trying to think of what the sisypuede of white women would be.

我在想，白人女性的 sisypuede 會是什麼。

For me, You're now the subject of a documentary.

對我來說，你現在是紀錄片的主題了。

I want to get into what that feels like in just a moment.

It's called Paralyzed by the Maria Bamford Story.

它叫做 Paralyzed by the Maria Bamford Story。

It's directed by Judd Apatow and Neil Berkley.

由 Judd Apatow 和 Neil Berkley 執導。

I have the honor of being briefly featured saying how much I enjoy Maria Bamford and how much I love everything that you do.

我很榮幸能被簡短介紹，說我有多喜歡 Maria Bamford，以及我多愛你做的一切。

How did they convince you to allow them to do this?

他們是怎麼說服你允許他們這樣做的？

Because it's one thing like when you're dead and gone, but

因為，當你過世後是另一回事，但

if you're alive and they're doing a documentary about you, this is your life, is your material.

如果你還活著，他們卻在拍你的紀錄片，這就是你的生活，你的素材。

I had to say, hey, I'm going to need 500 bones if you're going to come and shoot this.

我得說，嘿，如果你們要來拍這個，我需要 500 塊。

Because there are so many times in show business where they say, oh, my God, we love you.

因為在演藝圈裡，有太多時候他們會說，噢，我的天啊，我們愛你。

然後就沒事了，什麼事都沒發生。

你就只能獨自面對呼嘯的風聲。

No, I'm not gonna accept check from that.

I would never let anybody make a documentary about me or the show for any reason whatsoever.

我絕對不會讓任何人，因為任何原因，來拍關於我或這個節目的紀錄片。

不過，沒人找過我，這才是重點。

I mean, if no one's ever offered me money.

我的意思是，如果從來沒有人給我錢的話。

Sure, a Bud Light and a basket of curly fries.

當然，一杯 Bud Light 和一籃炸薯條。

因為 Judd Apatow 也說了同樣的話。

He said he wouldn't want to have one done of him.

In the documentary you talk about almost losing your home in the Altadena fire.

在這部紀錄片裡，你聊到差點在 Altadena 大火中失去你的家。

Well, we almost lost our house, but it was saved by our Trump.

嗯，我們差點失去房子，但我們的川普救了它。

And I was up there with the ashes and all that stuff.

我當時就站在灰燼和所有那些東西旁邊。

And it's kind of a police state in certain areas of la.

在洛杉磯的某些區域，那裡有點像戒嚴狀態。

And a giant SUV pulled up, two cops get out, guns fully drawn, say, excuse me, ma', am, what are you doing on that property?

一輛巨大的 SUV 停了下來，兩名警察下車，全副武裝，說，不好意思，女士，妳在那塊地上做什麼？

而且，你知道的，我當時的樣子並不好看。

And I said, oh, I'm just looking for my succulents.

我就說，喔，我只是在找我的多肉植物。

Some of my succulents made it because there's an elephant here that's quite hardy.

我的一些多肉植物活了下來，因為這裡有頭大象，牠很強壯。

Just had to make sure that you weren't one of the bad guys.

Documentary explores your upbringing, your family.

這部紀錄片探討妳的成長過程和家人。

And we have a clip here with you and your father.

我們這裡有一段妳和妳爸爸的片段。

This is one of his inventions that he came up with.

It's for night terrors, which is a seat belt for your bed.

這是為了夜驚症設計的，就是床用的安全帶。

在他身上是必要的，非常必要。

It turns out that 1% of people have night terrors.

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瑪麗亞·班福特：早上九點是單口喜劇最棒的時段！ (Maria Bamford: 9:00AM Is The Best Time For Stand-Up Comedy)

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