Name: 川普讓人笑不出來！眾議長強森 PK 教宗利奧十四世！貝佐斯「謀殺」新聞界？！ (Donald Trump Is Nothing To Smile About | Mike Johnson vs. Pope Leo XIV | Bezos "Murders" Journalism)
Uploaded: 2026-02-09T17:13:49.000Z
Duration: 11 min 32 s

程度副詞

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Late Show.

各位女士先生，歡迎來到 Late Show。

我是你們的主持人，Stephen Colbert。

Ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbors, tonight.

女士們先生們，親愛的朋友們，今晚。

Tonight folks, we start our Wednesday show with more news about the Epstein files, which feels particularly disturbing on hump day.

各位，今晚我們週三的節目要從更多關於 Epstein files 的新聞開始，這在 hump day 感覺特別令人不安。

Trump is so eager for all of this to go away.

Trump 非常急著想讓這一切都過去。

Here's what he said yesterday when he was asked about Epstein in the Oval Office.

昨天在橢圓辦公室被問到 Epstein 時，他是這麼說的。

I think it's really time for the country to get onto something else.

我覺得現在是時候讓國家關注別的事情了。

Really, you know, now that nothing came out about me, but

真的，你知道，既然沒有關於我的事被爆出來，但是

I think it's time now for the country to maybe get onto something else.

我覺得現在是時候讓國家也許轉向別的事情了。

Unfortunately, you're on the next page too.

But sure, let's talk about something different, something meaningless, you know, something fun, like Pokemon.

但沒問題，我們來聊點別的，聊點沒意義的，你知道的，聊點開心的，像是寶可夢。

Did you know that Pikachu can only evolve with a Thunderstone?

你知道皮卡丘只能用雷之石進化嗎？

And that he is also in the Epstein vials?

而且他也出現在 Epstein 的小瓶子裡？

still, when it comes to Jeffrey's creepy pals, we gotta catch em all.

但說到傑弗瑞那些怪怪的朋友，我們都要抓寶可夢。

Trump really wants us to stop talking about his former best friend's international sex crime documents.

Trump 真的希望我們不要再聊他以前最好的朋友的國際性犯罪文件。

Which is why when CNN's Kaitlan Collins followed up on that initial question, he did this.

這就是為什麼當 CNN 的 Kaitlan Collins 追問那個最初的問題時，他會這樣。

What would you say to the survivors who feel like they haven't gotten justice?

你會跟那些覺得沒有得到正義的倖存者說什麼？

No wonder CNN has no ratings because of people like you.

難怪 CNN 的收視率這麼差，都是因為像你這種人。

妳知道，她是一個年輕的女性。

I don't think I've ever seen a smile like this.

我好像從沒看過你這樣的笑容。

Well, I'm asking you about survivors of Jeffrey Epstein.

好吧，我是在問你關於傑弗瑞·愛潑斯坦的倖存者。

Because you know you're not telling the truth and you're a very dishonest organization and they should be ashamed of you.

因為你知道你沒有說實話，而且你們是一個非常不誠實的組織，他們應該為你感到羞恥。

Not only is that disgusting and misogynistic, but it's also a bit of a tell.

這不僅令人厭惡和厭女，而且也透露了一些東西。

Mr. President, what do you say to your accusations that you mistreat women?

總統先生，您怎麼回應您虐待女性的指控？

Today, Vice President Vance was asked about Trump's comments.

今天，副總統範斯被問及川普的評論。

The President says, why don't you ever smile?

It is perceptive of the President to recognize that when he's in the room, women don't smile.

總統能察覺到，當他在場時，女性就不會笑，這真的很敏銳。

It's a little hard to look away from an international sex trafficking conspiracy featuring the stars of the 80s, 90s and today.

牽扯到 80、90 年代到現在的明星的國際性人口販賣陰謀，實在很難讓人移開目光。

Like one text chain about Trump's former impeachment lawyer, Alan Dershowitz, seen here after winning a contest for eating the most egg salad, Dershowitz is the subject of a particularly catty exchange between Jeff Epstein and and Woody Allen.

像是關於 Trump 前彈劾律師 Alan Dershowitz 的一則簡訊，他被拍到贏得最多蛋沙拉比賽後，Dershowitz 是 Jeff Epstein 和 Woody Allen 之間一段特別刻薄的對話的主角。

Woody writes, did you happen to read the Alan Dershowitz article in the New York Times?

Woody 寫道，你剛好有看到紐約時報上關於 Alan Dershowitz 的那篇文章嗎？

Epstein replied, yes, it's always only Allen for Allen.

Epstein 回覆說，沒錯，對 Allen 來說，永遠只有 Allen。

I thought he came off as an ass, adding, he's the biggest self promoter I've ever met.

我認為他表現得很像個混蛋，還補充說，他是我見過最愛自我推銷的人。

It's quite laughable how desperate he is.

他有多絕望，真是讓人覺得可笑。

也是個超級愛炫耀自己認識誰的人。

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to lunch with my daughter wife.

好了，恕我失陪，我要去跟我的女兒妻子共進午餐了。

I got a little curious and did a little searching to see if I was in the files, and

我有點好奇，就稍微查了一下，看看我是否在那些檔案裡，

Because one of Epstein's associates was a fan of my old show, the Colbert Report, particularly of my explanation of massive anonymous campaign coffers known as Super PACs.

因為 Epstein 的一位同事是我以前的節目 The Colbert Report 的粉絲，特別喜歡我對大量匿名競選資金 Super PACs 的解釋。

In an email asking Epstein to donate to a candidate, that person wrote, nobody explains it better than Stephen Colbert.

在一封請 Epstein 捐款給某位候選人的電子郵件中，那個人寫道，沒有人能比 Stephen Colbert 解釋得更好了。

Well, Well, there's no such thing as bad publicity.

Just look at our new Times Square billboard, the Late Show.

看看我們在時代廣場的新廣告牌，Late Show。

But these files contain the names of folks even more important to me than me, because Epstein also name dropped Bilbo Baggins, and

但這些檔案裡提到的名字，對我來說比我自己還重要，因為 Epstein 還提到了 Bilbo Baggins，而且

at one point he compared himself to Gandalf.

有一陣子，他還把自己比作 Gandalf。

In the immortal words of Gandalf, the eat you dead pervert.

用 Gandalf 的不朽名言來說，那個會把你吃掉的變態。

Oh, hey, remember our government's unfettered cruelty to immigrants.

喔，嘿，還記得我們政府對移民毫無約束的殘酷嗎？

Well, you're not the only one upset about it.

嗯，你不是唯一一個對這件事感到不滿的人。

So is a guy from Chicago named Pope Leo XIV seen here, Seen here in a White Sox hat, proving he is a man of infinite faith.

來自芝加哥的 Pope Leo XIV 也是，他戴著一頂 White Sox 帽子，證明瞭他是一位擁有無限信仰的人。

Dupontiff has described Trump's treatment of migrants as extremely disrespectful and has reiterated the Catholic belief that every Christian will ultimately be judged on how they welcomed the foreigner.

Dupontiff 形容 Trump 對待移民的態度極度不尊重，並重申天主教相信所有基督徒最終都會因如何接待外來者而受審判。

Yes, the Bible calls all of us to welcome the foreigner.

沒錯，聖經呼籲我們所有人都要接待外來者。

As it is written, I want to know what love is.

經上寫著，我想知道愛是什麼。

我希望你們能讓我看看共和黨人。

Republicans like to claim Jesus is their guy, which is why yesterday, His Eminence Mike Johnson tried to correct the Pope on the Bible.

共和黨人喜歡聲稱耶穌是他們的人，這就是為什麼昨天，他的尊貴的 Mike Johnson 試圖在聖經上糾正教宗。

That's like trying to correct me on the Lord of the Rings.

這就像是想在我面前糾正魔戒一樣。

Do I consider myself its spiritual emissary on earth?

我認為自己是他在地球上的精神使者嗎？

You claim to know more about the Bible than the Pope.

Immigration is not something that's frowned upon in scripture.

移民這件事在經文裡並不是不被鼓勵的。

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川普讓人笑不出來！眾議長強森 PK 教宗利奧十四世！貝佐斯「謀殺」新聞界？！ (Donald Trump Is Nothing To Smile About | Mike Johnson vs. Pope Leo XIV | Bezos "Murders" Journalism)

evolve

creepy

expect

claim