Name: 冰桶挑戰失控爆紅！白宮互踢皮球！伊爾汗·奧馬爾臨危不亂！波多馬克河也遭殃？！ (ICE Outrage Goes Viral | White House Blame Game | Ilhan Omar: Tough Under Pressure | Poo-tomac River)
Uploaded: 2026-02-01T17:18:10.000Z
Duration: 11 min 48 s

Welcome one and all in here, out there, all around the world to the Late Show.

歡迎各位在場內、場外、全世界的朋友來到 Late Show。

I'm your host, Stephen Colbert, ladies and gentlemen.

我是你們的主持人，Stephen Colbert，各位觀眾。

I don't have to tell any of you it's been a hell of a week.

我不用多說，大家也知道這禮拜過得真是夠嗆的。

Right now, Minnesotans are still being terrorized by Trump's goons and it's not entirely clear.

現在，川普的爪牙還在恐嚇明尼蘇達州居民，而且還不完全清楚。

It's not entirely clear when it will end.

In the wake of two murders by anti immigration agents, Trump has removed Border patrol commander Greg Bevino, seen here embodying Coco Chanel's famous motto, I love Nazis.

在兩起反移民人士的謀殺案之後，川普撤換了邊境巡邏指揮官 Greg Bevino，他在這裡完美詮釋了 Coco Chanel 的名言：我愛納粹。

Bavino has been replaced in Minnesota by border czar and happiest meatball in the steam tray, Tom Homan.

Bavino 在明尼蘇達州的位置，由邊境沙皇、也是蒸籠裡最開心的肉丸子 Tom Homan 接替。

It's too early to know if Trump is actually trying to de escalate the violence or just rearranging the douchebags on the Titanic right now.

現在說川普是不是真的想緩和暴力，還是隻是在鐵達尼克號上換個位置，還太早了。

So far, so far, from what we can tell, it looks a little bit, it looks a little bit like option B because this morning Trump posted surprisingly, Mayor Jacob Fry has just stated that Minneapolis does not and will not enforce federal immigration laws.

到目前為止，從我們能判斷的來看，有點像是選項 B，因為今天早上川普發文說，市長 Jacob Fry 剛剛表示，明尼阿波利斯現在和未來都不會執行聯邦移民法。

This is after having had a very good conversation with him.

這是在跟他進行了一次非常好的談話之後。

Could somebody please explain that he is playing with fire?

有人可以解釋一下他這樣是在玩火嗎？

No, folks, I had a very good conversation with Mayor Fry.

不，各位，我跟 Fry 市長進行了一次非常好的談話。

Just had a great relationship with his uncle, Mayor McCheese.

剛才跟他的叔叔，麥克起司市長，關係很好。

But now, folks, now Mayor Fry is playing with fire when he should be playing in the fryer.

但現在，各位，現在 Fry 市長是在玩火，他應該要去炸雞店裡玩才對。

The administration is feeling the heat because Americans are outraged.

政府感受到了壓力，因為美國人民非常憤怒。

In fact, this weekend on Instagram, Reddit, TikTok and YouTube, posts critical of ICE went viral even in apolitical online spaces.

其實，這個週末在 Instagram、Reddit、TikTok 和 YouTube 上，連在非政治性的網路空間，都有批評 ICE 的貼文瘋傳。

For example, on one subreddit, for playfully patting your cat like you're playing the bongos, the moderator got a record number of upvotes after posting, quote, if you still support trumpice even slightly, you're not welcome in this sub.

舉個例子，在一個論壇上，有個版主因為開玩笑地像打邦哥鼓一樣輕拍你的貓，發布了一段話，獲得了創紀錄的按讚數，內容是：「如果你還稍微支持川普的 ICE，這裡就不歡迎你。」

Do you understand that if you support the fascists, your hands have no place tapping sweet samba rhythms on your cat's bongo butt.

你懂不懂，如果你支持法西斯，你的手就不能在貓咪的屁股上，輕柔地打著甜美的森巴節奏。

Which means the revolution has a new fight song.

Naturally, a lot of the anger has been directed at Homeland Security secretary and girlfriend.

當然，很多怒氣都指向了國土安全部長兼女友。

A lonely sailor made from driftwood and kelp, Christy Noem.

一個由浮木和海帶做成的孤獨水手，克莉絲蒂·諾姆。

On Saturday, Noem was quick to call Preddy a domestic terrorist without evidence.

週六，諾姆在沒有證據的情況下，迅速稱普雷迪為國內恐怖分子。

Now House Democrats are threatening to impeach her and even some Republicans are demanding her resignation.

現在眾議院的民主黨人威脅要彈劾她，甚至一些共和黨人也要求她辭職。

But yesterday, Trump said no when asked by a reporter if Noem would step down, adding, I think she's doing a very good job.

但昨天，當記者問諾姆是否會辭職時，川普回答說不，並補充說，我認為她做得很好。

I think she's doing a very good job, folks.

I'd rather have everyone blame for my mindless cruelty.

我寧願讓大家來指責我無情的殘酷。

First off, she's a woman and nobody likes that.

首先，她是個女人，大家都不喜歡這樣。

For her part, Noem is trying to blame other people for immediately labeling a murder victim a domestic terrorist.

就她而言，諾姆正試圖將一名謀殺案受害者被立即貼上國內恐怖份子標籤的責任歸咎於他人。

Yesterday, she reportedly said, everything I've done, I've done at the direction of the President and Stephen Miller.

昨天，她據稱說，我所做的一切，都是奉總統和史蒂芬·米勒的訓示。

這一切都只是個沒什麼大不了的事？

But this much of Noem's story does check out.

但諾姆的故事中有這麼多是屬實的。

Miller called him an assassin intent on massacring law enforcement.

米勒稱他為意圖屠殺執法人員的刺客。

But now he's saying that wasn't his idea either.

但現在他說那也不是他的主意。

Yesterday, he told reporters any early comments made were based on information sent to the White House through Customs and Border Protection.

昨天，他告訴記者，任何早期的評論都是基於透過海關和邊境保衛局發送給白宮的資訊。

So Kristi Noem, who runs Customs and Border Protection, heard it from Stephen Miller, who says he heard it from Customs and Border Protection run by Kristi Noem.

所以管理海關和邊境保衛局的克莉絲汀·諾姆是從史蒂芬·米勒那裡聽說的，而史蒂芬·米勒說他是從克莉絲汀·諾姆管理的海關和邊境保衛局那裡聽說的。

This is a real snake eating its own tail, which I believe is how Stephen Miller reproduces.

這真是個自相殘食的循環，我相信這就是史蒂芬·米勒繁殖的方式。

Yesterday, during a press event with Iowa farmers, Trump was asked about the trouble in Minnesota when warning.

昨天，在愛荷華州農民的新聞活動中，川普被問及明尼蘇達州的麻煩時發出了警告。

If you're a fan of the song Eye of the Tiger, this might make you like it less.

如果你是《Eye of the Tiger》這首歌的粉絲，這可能會讓你沒那麼喜歡它。

Why did you decide to shake up your leadership team in Minnesota and send Tom Ford?

你為什麼決定要改組明尼蘇達州的領導團隊並派遣湯姆·福特？

There's a lot of owners of farms and places, and

you shake up your team if they can't do the crops fast enough.

如果你的隊伍種植作物不夠快，你就會整頓他們。

That was an insane analogy to make while blasting that song in the background.

在背景播放那首歌的同時，做出這個比喻真是太瘋狂了。

If you work for a farmer and you do crops too slow or you just maybe did a little murder de escalation or not, things in Minnesota are still very tense.

如果你是為農民工作，而你種植作物太慢，或者你只是稍微處理了一下謀殺降級事件，又或者沒有，明尼蘇達州的局勢仍然非常緊張。

Case in point, last night, Minnesota Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, a very frequent target of the President's, was speaking in a town hall where she was attacked by a man with a mystery liquid.

舉個例子，昨晚，明尼蘇達州國會女議員伊爾汗·奧馬爾，總統經常針對的對象，在一個鎮民大會上發言時，被一名男子潑了神祕液體攻擊。

And DHS Secretary Kristi Noem must resign or face impeachment.

DHS 部長克莉絲蒂·諾姆必須辭職，否則將面臨彈劾。

Ohr is okay and admirably tough under pressure.

歐爾安然無恙，並且在壓力下表現出令人讚賞的堅韌。

Check out during the attack, she moves toward danger and then cocks her arm back.

看看攻擊當下，她走向危險然後把手臂往後一揮。

Girl was ready to throw some hands right there.

這女孩當時真的準備好要動手了。

Explains her Campaign slogan, Ilhan Omar will fight for you and with you after school in the Panera parking lot.

說明她的競選口號，Ilhan Omar 會在放學後在 Panera 停車場為你而戰，與你並肩作戰。

The attacker has been identified as a 55 year old man named Anthony J. Kacmercik.

攻擊者已被確認為 55 歲男子 Anthony J. Kacmercik。

As of this taping, we didn't know what his motivations were.

在錄製時，我們還不知道他的動機是什麼。

It might have been Donald Trump, it might have been Captain Morgan.

可能是唐納·川普，也可能是 Captain Morgan。

Witnesses say that Kacmercik sprayed Omar with a strong smelling liquid from this syringe.

目擊者說 Kacmercik 用這支針筒對 Omar 噴了一種聞起來很濃的液體。

Some on the Internet speculated it was urine.

If so, Anthony, you gotta hydrate immediately.

如果真是這樣，Anthony，你得立刻補充水分。

Turns out, turns out, I'm happy to say, turns out the substance was apple cider vinegar.

結果，結果，我很高興地說，結果那物質是蘋果醋。

If she had had baking soda in her pocket, he could have turned her into a volcano.

如果她口袋裡有小蘇打粉，他可能會讓她變成一座火山。

Now, clearly, when it comes to Minnesota, Trump has a big PR problem on his decomposing hands.

顯然，就明尼蘇達州而言，川普手上正處理著一個棘手的公關難題。

So yesterday he tried to change the narrative by flying out to Iowa for a rally about the economy.

所以昨天他試圖改變輿論風向，飛往愛荷華州參加一場關於經濟的造勢大會。

We just found out that in January, consumer confidence collapsed to its lowest level since 2014.

我們剛發現，一月份的消費者信心指數跌至2014年以來的最低點。

Well, yeah, that year everyone's confidence collapsed after John Travolta tried to introduce Idina Menzel.

嗯，是啊，那一年大家信心都崩潰了，因為約翰屈伏塔試圖介紹伊迪娜·曼澤爾。

Please welcome the wickedly talented, one and only Radel Dazeem.

掌聲歡迎才華橫溢、獨一無二的Radel Dazeem。

我們甚至沒有準備後續的笑話。