Name: 讓前任變回你的奇招！ (想像一下你能把他們追回來) (A Sure Way to Get Over Your Ex (Imagine You Could Have Them Back))
Uploaded: 2026-01-28T17:25:06.000Z
Duration: 4 min 7 s

There can be few pastimes more compelling than to ruminate on an ex.

很少有消遣比回味前任更引人入勝了。

How extraordinary they were, what beauty they had, what happiness it would bring to have them back.

他們是多麼的與眾不同，多麼的美麗，如果能讓他們回來，會帶來多大的幸福。

Thoughts of them can intrude on new relationships.

對他們的思念會 intrude 新的關係。

他們會跟著我們進入工作會議。

They cause us to cry at certain moments in films they come between us and the beautiful places we've travelled hours to see.

他們會讓我們在電影中某些時刻哭泣，他們會妨礙我們欣賞我們花了好幾個小時去看的絕美風景。

There might be one rather counterintuitive way of dealing with the trouble of exes.

或許有一種非常反直覺的方法可以處理前任帶來的困擾。

To take very seriously the one thought that we have, until now probably been resisting.

認真看待我們至今可能一直在抗拒的一個想法。

就是我們其實可以把他們追回來。

This is likely to sound, at first blush, entirely implausible.

這聽起來，初步看來，完全貌似可信。

We had a rather cold meeting back last year.

去年我們有個見面，氣氛有點冷。

They might be with someone else for all we know.

我們根本不知道他們是不是已經跟別人在一起了。

But let's look at things squarely very often, in many cases far more than we assume that there could be a path back.

但我們坦率地看看，很多時候，遠比我們假設的，其實都還有挽回的餘地。

We could show up at the door and do this properly, lay out the case, make a giant play for them, and

我們可以直接出現在他們家門口，好好地表達，為他們做一個重大的決定，然後

也許，真的也許，他們會答應。

And even if we can't directly assume this, let's at least allow ourselves a thought experiment.

就算我們不能直接這樣假設，至少讓自己來個思想實驗吧。

The key move is to push our ideas to the next stage.

關鍵的一步是把我們的想法推進到下一個階段。

Not being able to have someone back prevents us from ever exploring a truly salient issue.

無法挽回某個人，阻止了我們去探索一個真正顯著的問題。

It prevents us from analyzing with sufficient energy and realism whether a return is truly a good idea.

這阻止了我們用足夠的精力與現實去分析，回頭是不是個好主意。

So long as we think a return impossible, it's safe enough for us to say affirm.

只要我們覺得回不去，我們就可以安全地肯定。

There is no cost to our pained but addictive imaginings.

我們痛苦但令人上癮的想像，沒有任何代價。

We can pick out the very best bits of the movie, which almost always lie near the start of the relationship.

我們可以挑出電影裡最美好的片段，那幾乎總是在關係的開頭。

That trip to Athens, the cosy nights in Marrakech, the amazing three weeks on the coast in Wales and.

去雅典的那趟旅行、馬拉喀什溫馨的夜晚、在威爾斯海岸令人驚豔的三週，還有。

But we must direct our syrup soaked minds elsewhere, to the cold light of dawn.

但我們必須把這些沉浸在幻想裡的腦袋轉向別處，迎接清晨的冷光。

The person who's grown to mythic proportions in our mind has returned.

在我們心中被神話般放大的那個人，回來了。

我們明天就可以搬進去跟他們住。

Like we've been picturing them as heavy, hazily beatific.

就像我們一直想像他們是沉重、模糊幸福的樣子。

But think of those cheeks, those eyes, those hips.

但想想他們的臉頰、他們的眼睛、他們的臀部。

Think then of their character, those habits, those ways of complaining, those enthusiasms, those compulsions.

然後想想他們的品格、他們的習慣、他們抱怨的方式、他們的熱情、他們的強迫症。

If they were here, we'd hate them so much for what they'd done, the time they'd wasted the humiliations they'd meted out, their clumsiness and shiftiness.

如果他們在這裡，我們會因為他們所做的事、浪費的時間、他們施加的羞辱、他們的笨拙和狡猾而非常討厭他們。

We'd want to shout at them more or less all the time.

我們幾乎會一直想對他們大吼大叫。

They would be, if we look at the matter, frankly, radioactive.

如果我們坦率地看待這件事，他們簡直就像是會散發輻射一樣。

It's one of these moments when the mind shows its limitations as a reasoning machine.

這就是心智作為一個推理機器展現其侷限性的時刻之一。

We see that it's prone to hold two entirely contradictory truths without ever bothering to collide them.

我們發現它很容易同時持有兩個完全矛盾的真相，卻從來不費心讓它們碰撞。

One part of the mind knows full well that they are putrid.

心智的一部分很清楚他們是腐敗的。

We need to make some introductions to our varied parts.

我們需要介紹一下我們多樣化的部分。

We need to show the impossibility of the tormenting dream by making it live.

我們需要讓折磨人的夢境變得真實，來展現它的不可能。

And as a possibility in our minds, we stand to come face to face with a sobering truth.

當它成為我們腦中的一種可能性時，我們就會面對一個令人清醒的真相。

我們其實不想讓我們的 ex 回來。

我們想要的是曾經擁有的那段時光。

When they were kind, when their complexities and disappointments hadn't come into view, when we didn't know them too fully.

那時他們很善良，他們的複雜和失望還沒浮現，我們還沒那麼瞭解他們。

But the person now, the person after the awful silences and those messages and the news of the betrayal and that chilly farewell.

但現在這個人，在經歷了可怕的沉默、那些訊息、背叛的消息和冷淡的告別之後的那個他/她。

Within minutes we're crying at the pain of missing someone that we would immediately ask to leave us alone if they showed up.

幾分鐘內我們就會因為思念某人而哭泣，但如果那個人出現，我們立刻就會請他們走開。

The best way to get our exes out of our minds is to think in pedantic and clear eyed detail about what it would be like actually to have them back in our lives.

要讓前任從我們腦海中消失的最佳方法，就是以迂腐、清醒的細節來思考，實際上讓他們回到我們生活中的情況會是如何。