Name: I CRASHED THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE (2024)
Uploaded: 2026-01-20T17:02:40.000Z
Duration: 10 min 36 s
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Are there any more questions from the audience?

300 million people in America and this is our only hope?

Someone needs to address the elephant in the room and the donkey.

So excuse my definite lack political correctedness and etiquette, but

there's a reason more people vote for the American Idol than the American president.

Latin word meaning many ticks, meaning blood sucking creatures.

He was being facetious, but that is no falsehood.

Why is it always the lesser of two evils?

For too long it has been been normal for politicians to make empty promises and proclamations.

Normal for them to dismiss the Constitution and declaration.

Normal for them to think more about the next election than the next generation.

I'm tired of people like you criticizing us.

Why don't you come up here and tell us how you would do it if you were the president?

First thing I would do if I was president is quit.

See, the word president literally means preside over or sit.

Before I would quit my position of being everybody's superior, I would sit together with the people as equals.

Next, I would take Congress back to kindergarten.

Well, see, everything government needs to know they should have learned in kindergarten.

Our climate policy should be based on the kindergarten philosophy of clean up your own mess and put things back how you found them.

Our foreign policy should be don't hit people.

In our domestic policy, hold hands and stick together.

Even though we'd have kindergarten policies, if I was president, I would use a lot of adult language.

Some people may be offended, but I wouldn't budge.

I would use strong four letter words, like.

Yes, I would awaken the hero and shero in all of us.

Because change rarely comes from Washington.

The stimulus checks will always bounce in the long run and come back insufficient funds.

Because you cannot stimulate a country until you stimulate the hearts.

Where would you stand specifically on key issues?

See, if I was president, my key issues wouldn't be getting rid of TikTok.

My key issues would unlock the doors of freedom that have been blocked for so many.

So we as a country would focus on eliminating child trafficking, the equality of all genders, the genocide of helpless animals.

Because a nation's greatness is measured not by how it treats the wealthy, but

See, they've been worried more about securing the bag than securing us from a crash.

Everyone should be able to prosper, not just the prosperous.

So if I was president, I would get with the people and decide how our budgets should be spent in a way that's fair, transparent and makes sense.

Maybe instead of war, we'd help unemployed people struggling to pay rent.

That would increase our nation's strength.

If I was president in the Oval Office, we would stop mopping up the floor and finally turn off the faucet.

Well, instead of getting to the root causes, we keep trying to fix the symptoms.

For instance, we spend billions on cures, but practically nothing on prevention.

You guys talk about health care, but refuse to mention the broken food system.

Covid wouldn't have killed so easily and with such frequency had we not had the pre existing epidemic of obesity.

21 ingredients are in this McDonald's fry.

Don't you see how fast food has given us short lives?

Or maybe you're not aware that children born in the year 2000 will be the first generation with a shorter lifespan than their parents.

If I was president, universal wellness would be at the top of our list.

Doctors would be paid to keep you healthy, not just treat you when you're sick.

And as far as mental health, we would work fast to pass a bill.

Did you know more soldiers die from suicide when they come home?

Compared to those killed on the battlefield.

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I CRASHED THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE (2024)

eliminate

deserve

obesity

epidemic