Name: Meanwhile... 妮可基嫚與凱斯厄文分居了！| 可愛海象的陰莖被偷走了！| 讓人傻眼的自訂車牌被拒絕！ (Meanwhile... Nicole & Keith Split | Beloved Walrus Penis Stolen | Rejected Vanity License Plates)
Uploaded: 2026-01-09T17:21:41.000Z
Duration: 6 min 22 s

Hey, give it up for Louis Cato, the Late Show Band, everybody before you and there.

各位，掌聲歡迎 Louis Cato、The Late Show Band，以及在場的各位！

I found something out today, Louis, and I'm wondering whether you remember this.

Louis，我今天發現了一件事，不知道你還記不記得。

說到這個，我那時候就明白了，所以謝謝你。

我是在今天凌晨 12 點 06 分發現的。

Because we scheduled it like I wrote the song a few months ago.

因為我們的安排，就像我幾個月前寫了這首歌。

And then to release music, you got to put it on all the DSPs and things.

然後要發行音樂，你就得把它放到所有的 DSP 和其他平臺。

So I like, I forgot until I got a notification on my phone at 12:06 saying your new song is out now.

所以我就，我忘了，直到我手機收到通知，時間是 12 點 06 分，說你的新歌上線了。

I got a notification on a piece of paper here.

And it is available to stream wherever y' all listen to music.

而且你可以在任何你聽音樂的地方串流收聽。

I hear you did a great recording yesterday too, folks.

聽說你們昨天錄音也很棒喔，各位。

I hope you do, you know that I spend most of my time right over there in the news factory sewing the most topical ripstop story nylon into a 2000 cubic centimeter envelope with twin turning vents and a Stratos Neo burner to build for you the spectacular Cameron Brothers Z top hide air balloon.

希望你們有看，你們就知道我大部分時間都待在那邊的新聞工廠，把最時事的花紋尼龍縫成一個兩千立方公分的信封，裝上雙渦輪通風口和 Stratos Neo 燃燒器，為大家打造壯觀的 Cameron Brothers Z 型熱氣球。

But sometimes I wake up in an abandoned arc welder plant while I route the old helium supply into a discarded tarps strapped to my pants with rusty bailing wire.

但有時候我會醒來，發現自己身處廢棄的電焊機工廠，把舊的氦氣供應管接到我褲子上綁著生鏽打包繩的廢棄帆布上。

And then old man from up my way outta there and the scrimpy blimp of news.

然後我那邊的老先生就會跑出來，說些關於新聞的空泛話。

Meanwhile, in celebrity uncoupling news, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are officially divorced after 19 years of marriage.

同時，在名人離婚新聞方面，妮可·基嫚和凱斯·艾爾邦在結婚19年後正式離婚。

雖然令人難過，但也不完全令人意外。

I suspected something was up when she kept going to the movies all by herself.

當她一直獨自去看電影時，我就覺得有點不對勁。

Meanwhile, first of all, everyone is fine.

But last month, just outside Denver, a popular weed dispensary and CBD store caught fire on the scene.

但上個月，就在丹佛郊外，一家受歡迎的大麻專賣店和 CBD 商店發生了火災。

The fire chief said, quote, are people watching this?

消防隊長說，引述，大家在看這個嗎？

感覺好像每個人都在看著我們。

Meanwhile, in mammal news, a beloved walrus penis has been stolen from a New Jersey cheesesteak icon.

同時，在哺乳動物新聞裡，一根備受喜愛的 વાલરસ 陰莖被從紐澤西的一家起司牛排標誌性建築物裡偷走了。

Oh, and that sound means we have a new record holder for a crime.

哦，那個聲音代表我們有個新的犯罪紀錄保持人。

You were least likely to guess even if I gave you infinite guesses, Narrowly beating out the previous champ.

就算給你無限次猜測，你也不太可能猜到，險勝前任冠軍。

Revered frog anus smothers Nebraskan beef lord.

受人尊敬的青蛙肛門扼殺了內布拉斯加的牛肉大亨。

Also can we please just go back and address the phrase beloved walrus penis?

另外，我們能不能回去討論一下「備受喜愛的 વાલરસ 陰莖」這個說法？

I just never imagined a walrus penis could inspire that kind of devotion.

我從沒想過 વાલરસ 陰莖能激發那樣的奉獻精神。

I mean, I like my narwhal scrotum, but I love my walrus penis.

我是說，我喜歡我的獨角鯨陰囊，但我愛我的 વાલરસ 陰莖。

Meanwhile, video went viral over the holidays of this tele operator robot that copies the movements of a human wearing sensors.

同時，假期期間一段影片在網路上瘋傳，影片中是一個電信操作機器人，能複製穿戴感測器的人類動作。

See if you can spot the reason why the video captured.

看看能不能找出影片被拍攝的原因。

We've achieved whatever the point of the Enlightenment was.

我們已經達成了啟蒙運動的目標。

Meanwhile, in invertebrate news, scientists now say that jellyfish sleep a lot like us.

同時，在無脊椎動物新聞方面，科學家現在說水母的睡眠跟我們很像。

They also ate a family sized pack of fudge stripes and lay down on the floor.

他們還吃了一整包家庭號的奶油夾心餅乾，然後躺在地板上。

Meanwhile, the Illinois Secretary of State has revealed some of the 2025 vanity license plate requests that were rejected for being inflammatory, profane, or offensive, including ICUP and I be poop, Which was Tough news for Dr.

同時，伊利諾州州務卿公佈了一些 2025 年被拒絕的個性化車牌申請，因為內容煽動、褻瀆或冒犯，包括 ICUP 和 I be poop，這對 Ib Beep 醫生來說是個壞消息。

You laugh, but right now someone in Chicago is going, ib.

你在笑，但現在芝加哥有人正在說，ib。

Ib 他們說你的名字在電視上出現了。

Meanwhile, a man lets snakes bite him 202 times.

同時，有個男人讓蛇咬了他 20 次。

And his blood helped create a new antivenom and says it always burns and it's always, always painful.

而且他的血液幫助創造了一種新的抗毒血清，他說這總是會灼熱，而且總是、總是很痛。

Which coincidentally, is still the official slogan of White Castle.

這巧合的是，仍然是 White Castle 的官方口號。

Meanwhile, a Texas mom gave birth to a huge baby just shy of £13, and

同時，德州一位媽媽生下一個將近13英鎊的巨嬰，

哎呦，哎呦，哎呦，哎呦，哎呦。

Meanwhile, an extraordinary Iron Age war trumpet has been uncovered in England.

同時，英國出土了一支非凡的鐵器時代戰鬥號角。

Described as a thunderous Celtic war trumpet that terrified the Romans.

這支號角被形容為能嚇壞羅馬人的雷鳴般的凱爾特戰鬥號角。

And researchers have released a simulation of how this spine chilling war trumpet sounded during battle.

研究人員還發布了模擬，重現這支令人毛骨悚然的戰鬥號角在戰鬥中的聲音。

We'll be right back with Tom Hiddleston, everybody.

我們馬上回來，各位，有請Tom Hiddleston。

Meanwhile... 妮可基嫚與凱斯厄文分居了！| 可愛海象的陰莖被偷走了！| 讓人傻眼的自訂車牌被拒絕！ (Meanwhile... Nicole & Keith Split | Beloved Walrus Penis Stolen | Rejected Vanity License Plates)

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Meanwhile... 妮可基嫚與凱斯厄文分居了！| 可愛海象的陰莖被偷走了！| 讓人傻眼的自訂車牌被拒絕！ (Meanwhile... Nicole & Keith Split | Beloved Walrus Penis Stolen | Rejected Vanity License Plates)

extraordinary

reveal

realize

imagine