Name: 為什麼明知有毒卻離不開？揭開有毒關係的心理真相 (How To Leave A Toxic Relationship)
Uploaded: 2025-12-19T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 6 min 14 s

Sometimes relationships are far from the ones in fairy tales we loved reading as kids.

有時候，感情關係和我們童年時讀過的童話故事相差甚遠。

轉承詞

Our Prince Charming, instead of saving us, becomes the one we need saving from.

我們的白馬王子，非但沒有拯救我們，反而成了那個需要我們逃離的人。

A magical kiss doesn't bring our princess back from eternal sleep.

一個魔法之吻，也無法讓沉睡中的公主甦醒。

But instead, the toxicity comes not from a poisoned apple, but from the person themselves.

因為真正的毒性，並不是來自毒蘋果，而是來自那個人本身。

This can make us feel like we're trapped, just like Sleeping Beauty.

這會讓我們感覺被困住，就像睡美人一樣。

When the illusion of love shatters and you come to realize your partner is toxic,

當愛情的幻象破滅，你意識到伴侶其實是有毒的，

you're faced with a difficult task - leaving.

你就必須面對一個艱難的任務──離開。

Breaking up is never easy, even if it's the best thing you can do for yourself.

分手從來都不容易，即使那是對自己最好的選擇。

That's why we're here to offer you some steps you can take to free yourself from a toxic relationship.

這也是為什麼我們想提供一些步驟，幫助你從一段有毒的關係中解脫。

Realizing you're in a toxic relationship is a crucial step when trying to escape.

在試圖逃離之前，意識到自己正身處一段有毒的關係，是非常關鍵的一步。

Licensed clinical social worker and therapist Insha Raman suggests you ask yourself these questions to recognize a toxic relationship.

合格臨床社工與治療師 Insha Raman 建議你問自己以下問題，以辨識有毒關係。

Do you constantly feel unhappy about your relationship?

你是否經常對這段關係感到不快樂？

it's not normal to be sad, angry or anxious nearly all the time around your partner.

但幾乎隨時在伴侶身邊都感到悲傷、憤怒或焦慮，是不正常的。

These feelings might be a result of your partner's toxic behavior.

這些感受可能正是伴侶有毒行為所造成的結果。

Are they often calling you names or criticizing you?

他們是否經常辱罵你或批評你？

Constantly texting or calling to check up on you?

是否不停傳訊或打電話監控你的行蹤？

Or maybe they're overly dependent on you, manipulating or gaslighting you?

又或者他們過度依賴你、操縱你，甚至對你進行情緒操控或煤氣燈效應？

Feel free to check out this video to learn more about these red flags and toxic relationship behaviors.

歡迎觀看這支影片，深入了解這些警訊與有毒關係的行為模式。

Even if it sounds like the most logical solution,

即使分手聽起來是最理性的解決方式，

simply breaking up with a toxic partner is not always easy.

但要真正離開一個有毒伴侶，往往沒有那麼容易。

You know that very well if you've tried to leave the relationship before.

如果你曾試圖離開卻失敗，你一定深有體會。

Psychotherapist Marni Fjerman wrote on VeryWellMind about some common reasons why you might be reluctant to leave.

心理治療師 Marni Fjerman 在 VeryWellMind 上寫道，說明了一些讓人遲遲無法離開的常見原因。

Do you feel like you can't break up with them because it feels like you lose a part of yourself?

你是否覺得一旦分手，就好像失去了自己的一部分？

A defense mechanism which makes you feel like you and your partner are one, a connected unit.

一種防衛機制，讓你覺得自己和伴侶是一體的、緊密相連的存在。

A codependent relationship also makes a breakup difficult.

共依附的關係，也會讓分手變得更加困難。

You might feel like you and your partner are dependent on each other,

你可能覺得自己和伴侶彼此依賴，

like you simply need to be near them in order to feel safe and loved.

彷彿只有待在對方身邊，才能感到安全與被愛。

Or you might have false hopes that one day they'll turn their life around and change for the better.

或者你仍抱著錯誤的希望，相信有一天他們會浪子回頭、變得更好。

And sometimes, toxic partners can be verbally or even physically or sexually abusive.

有時候，有毒的伴侶甚至會進行言語、肢體或性方面的虐待。

You may be afraid of what your partner would do to you if you decided to leave.

你可能會害怕，一旦選擇離開，對方會對你做出什麼事。

Please remember, if you're a victim of domestic abuse,

請務必記住，如果你是家庭暴力的受害者，

we encourage you to seek professional help, either from a psychologist, social worker, or the police.

我們強烈建議你尋求專業協助，例如心理師、社工，或警方。

This video is not a substitute for professional advice and protection.

本影片無法取代專業建議與保護。

Please check out the description where you'll find a link with resources for victims and survivors.

請查看影片說明欄，裡面有提供給受害者與倖存者的資源連結。

Do your friends and family know about the problems you're facing?

你的朋友或家人知道你正在面對的問題嗎？

如果不知道，現在正是打開心房的時候。

No matter how hard or embarrassing it may feel,

不管這件事說出口有多困難或尷尬，

you need a person of trust, not just to comfort you, but also to help keep you safe.

你都需要一個值得信任的人，不只是安慰你，也能幫助你保持安全。

It can be a family member, a friend, a colleague, or a professional if you feel like you're not really close to anyone else.

這個人可以是家人、朋友、同事，或是在你覺得沒有親近對象時的專業人士。

Whoever it is, social support is crucial.

不論是誰，社會支持都至關重要。

A study published in Journal of Counseling and Development in 2011

2011 年發表於《諮商與發展期刊》的研究指出，

found that being connected to people around you can help you adjust and recover from your breakup.

與身邊的人保持連結，有助於你適應並從分手中恢復。

Skipping this important step might make it even harder for you.

跳過這個重要步驟，反而可能讓你更難走出來。

所以，務必把你的秘密說出來。

After you've asked for help, think about everything you have to do once you leave.

在尋求協助之後，開始思考離開後你需要做的所有事情。

This will not only help you be prepared, but

it'll also make it real in your head, leaving little room for possible excuses.

也能讓「離開」這件事在你心中變得具體，減少找藉口的空間。

Do you need someone to stay with you instead?

Is there anything that could make them need to talk to you again,

是否有任何事情會讓對方再次聯絡你，

such as shared bills or Netflix password?

According to licensed marriage and family therapist Jenny Mary Battiston,

合格婚姻與家庭治療師 Jenny Mary Battiston 表示，

this step is especially important if there's any abuse involved,

若關係中涉及任何形式的虐待，這一步尤其重要，

so make sure you don't leave out any details.

因此務必要把所有細節都考慮進去。

According to associate professor of Psychology and human development, Dr. Kelly Campbell,

心理學與人類發展副教授 Kelly Campbell 博士指出，

cutting off all contact with your partner is an important next step that you should take.

切斷與前伴侶的所有聯繫，是接下來非常重要的一步。

She believes that continuous exchanges can prolong the healing process,

她認為持續的往來會延長療癒的過程，

so unless it's absolutely necessary that you stay in contact.

因此除非真的有必要，否則不應再保持聯絡。

For example, if you have kids together, the best thing to do would be to completely cut off any ways for them to contact you.

例如，如果你們有共同的孩子，最好的做法是切斷他們能聯絡到你的所有方式。

Since toxic people are often master manipulators,

由於有毒的人往往是操縱高手，

they might play the manipulation card and try pulling you into their toxic circle once again.

他們可能再次使出操控手段，試圖把你拉回有毒的循環中。

That's why it's important to take control and not let them get close to you again.

這就是為什麼你必須掌握主導權，不讓他們再次靠近你。

It's completely natural to be overwhelmed with different kinds of emotions.

被各種情緒淹沒，是完全正常的。

The important thing to do at this point is not to bottle it up.

此時最重要的，是不要把情緒壓抑在心裡。

Try and find a way to express your emotions so that you are able to process them and clear your mind.

試著找到表達情緒的方式，讓自己能夠消化感受、理清思緒。

Journaling is one of the techniques that is highly recommended by therapists, and it really works.

寫日記是治療師高度推薦的方法之一，而且真的有效。

In a 2010 study published in the journal Psychology and Health,

2010 年發表於《心理學與健康》期刊的一項研究中，

one group of participants who had a recent breakup were instructed to pour their hearts out and write about their feelings.

一組剛經歷分手的受試者被要求寫下內心的感受，

Later, they showed lower levels of tension, fatigue, and intrusive thoughts.

結果顯示，他們的緊張、疲勞與侵入性思緒明顯降低。

That's why authors concluded that expressive writing has a wide range of social, emotional, and

因此研究者得出結論，表達性書寫在社交、情緒與

physical health benefits for individuals coping with stressful events such as breakups.

身體健康方面，都能為面對分手等壓力事件的人帶來廣泛益處。

So grab a nice notebook and a cute pen and put your emotions on paper.

所以，拿起一本漂亮的筆記本和一支可愛的筆，把你的情緒寫下來吧。

After all steps are taken and you free yourself from your ex-partner's toxic grip,

當你完成所有步驟，成功擺脫前伴侶有毒的控制後，

please don't forget to take care of yourself.

Now is the perfect time to show some love to you.

現在正是把愛留給自己的最佳時機。

That same love you've been showing to others for so long.

那份你長久以來付出給他人的愛。

To help you with this, here are 10 ways to deal with a broken heart.

為了幫助你做到這一點，以下是 10 個走出心碎的方法。