Name: 什麼是 "長女綜合症"，它會如何影響你的成年？ (What is "eldest daughter syndrome" and how can it affect your adulthood?)
Uploaded: 2025-09-01T01:57:21.000Z
Duration: 5 min 36 s

情態助動詞 A2

They can influence our lives well into adulthood and family roles that we take on as Children.

它們會影響我們成年後的生活，以及我們作為兒童所承擔的家庭角色。

頻率副詞

Oftentimes it sticks with us through the years, especially if we're not always aware of it.

很多時候，它都會伴隨我們多年，尤其是當我們並不總是意識到它的時候。

So recently the idea of eldest daughter syndrome has caught fire in online forums.

最近，"長女綜合症 "這個概念在網絡論壇上火了起來。

And while it's not a diagnosis, it does seem to hold water as a theory about the way many of the eldest daughters see their role in the family.

雖然這不是一種診斷，但作為許多長女看待自己在家庭中角色的一種理論，它似乎是站得住腳的。

So here to discuss what this means for us is relationship guru Dr Kirsten Lynn seal as well as eldest daughter number one.

在這裡，情感大師克爾斯滕-林恩-海豹博士以及頭號長女將與我們探討這對我們意味著什麼。

So basically, eldest daughter syndrome just refers to the emotional burden that eldest daughters tend to take on in families from a young age.

是以，基本上，長女綜合徵只是指長女往往從小就在家庭中承擔起情感負擔。

That's pretty much the nuts and bolts of it.

這幾乎就是其中的核心和關鍵。

But I don't know that I necessarily see that as like a bad thing.

Like everything, there is a good part and a bad part.

就像任何事物一樣，有好的一面，也有壞的一面。

So let me, I'll go through some of the list of, there are many different characteristics, but I'll tell you the five that I think are really, really relevant.

所以，讓我來告訴你們我認為非常非常相關的五個特點。

So the first one is you feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility.

People, eldest daughters tend to be overachievers and they feel really driven.

人，長女往往是超額完成任務的人，她們覺得自己真的很有動力。

You struggle with boundaries, sort of saying no and people pleasing.

你在界限、說 "不 "和取悅他人方面很掙扎。

Here's number five is you feel guilty much of the time and are resentful of your siblings.

第五種情況是，你經常感到內疚，對兄弟姐妹心懷怨恨。

So basically this is like there are a lot of good things about it and it can feel really rewarding to feel responsible.

是以，基本上這就像有很多好的方面，而且會讓人感覺很有成就感，覺得自己很有責任感。

But as you can see, it can tip into not being so positive.

但正如你所看到的，它可能會變得不那麼積極。

Heather just like did a full like I'm watching your reaction.

希瑟就像做了一個完整的像我在看你的反應。

Do you, do you identify every single one?

Uh, the thing to remember is that, you know, once we hit adulthood, these roles have been sort of like the neural pathways, the habits that we've formed sort of taking on these roles are pretty well grooved.

嗯，要記住的是，一旦我們成年，這些角色就像神經通路一樣，我們所形成的承擔這些角色的習慣已經相當成熟了。

And so it will take time and it will take some energy and effort.

是以，這需要時間、精力和努力。

But I think the first and most important thing is for an eldest daughter, maybe like pointing to Heather's reaction is for the eldest daughter to understand that, that, that this is something that's going on.

但我認為，對於長女來說，最重要的第一件事，也許就像指出希瑟的反應一樣，是讓長女明白，這是正在發生的事情。

Cause people can sometimes feel like, well, I do all this stuff and then it up, but why am I so resentful?

因為人們有時會覺得，好吧，我做了這麼多事，然後又把它做完了，但我為什麼會如此怨恨呢？

If you understand that how much you're taking on is connected to how much resentment you feel, then you can start figuring out how to try to balance those things more.

如果你明白，你承擔了多少與你有多少怨恨有關，那麼你就可以開始想辦法更多地平衡這些事情。

Because I think that almost all of us really would prefer to have good and positive relationships with our siblings as opposed to being irritated and resentful of them all the time.

因為我認為，與總是對兄弟姐妹感到惱怒和怨恨相比，我們幾乎所有人都更希望與兄弟姐妹建立良好而積極的關係。

Plus feeling like we're maybe never doing enough, right?

再加上覺得我們可能永遠都做得不夠，對嗎？

And I, you know, in, in my sister's defenses, like I, they do a lot as well too, but I can understand how that, that would absolutely happen is if you're the one that feels like, uh, especially let's say if you're taking care of a parent and you're the one that's closest to the parent, like how that might feel like, Hey, you got to hold up your end of the bargain.

而我，你知道，在我姐姐的辯護中，就像我一樣，她們也做了很多，但我能理解，如果你是那個覺得，呃，尤其是比方說，如果你在照顧父母，而你是那個最接近父母的人，你會覺得，嘿，你得堅持你的交易。

So, uh, I mean, I would say the next step after becoming aware of this issue is having conversations about it.

所以，呃，我的意思是說，在意識到這個問題之後，下一步就是就此展開對話。

So communicating to other family members that you're noticing that this is a pattern and first asking, what do they think?

是以，請與其他家庭成員溝通，告訴他們你注意到這是一種模式，並首先詢問他們怎麼看？

I mean, I have two younger brothers, right?

So, and they, they are totally, I mean, they kind of, they tease me about, you know, needing to be in control and all of this.

所以，他們，他們是完全，我的意思是，他們那種，他們取笑我，你知道，需要在控制和所有這一切。

And again, having some more of the control can also feel very rewarding.

同樣，擁有更多的控制權也會讓人感覺非常有成就感。

So there's that positive, you know, thing we get.

所以，我們得到的是積極的，你知道的。

Uh, and sometimes if it's feeling like too much, I will say to them, here's where I'm irritated at you can you step up and do X or do Y?

呃，有時如果感覺太多了，我會對他們說，這是我對你感到惱火的地方，你能站出來做 X 或做 Y 嗎？

And so, um, you know, but I mean, we're poor brothers, they have a family therapist as a sister, right?

所以，嗯，你知道， 但我的意思是，我們是可憐的兄弟， 他們有一個家庭治療師 作為一個妹妹，對不對？

I am noticing one thing that you are not saying though, and you were not talking about eldest son syndrome, right?

不過，我注意到有一點你沒有說，你說的不是長子綜合症，對嗎？

I don't know why we're bringing me into this.

我不知道為什麼要把我扯進來。

Interesting thing is that it's called eldest daughter syndrome because, and again, this isn't a diagnosis.

有趣的是，它之所以被稱為長女綜合徵，是因為這並不是一種診斷。

There's no real research behind this, but there is a lot of research behind what we call parentified children.

這背後沒有真正的研究，但我們所說的 "家長化兒童 "背後卻有很多研究。

And those are children who have to take on an adult role early on in life, usually due to alcohol or substance abuse with the parents or severe mental illness or some other kind of illness that makes the child sort of pushes the child into more of a caretaking role.

這些孩子通常由於父母酗酒或濫用藥物，或患有嚴重的精神疾病或其他某種疾病，不得不在生命的早期就承擔起成人的角色，從而將孩子推向更多的照顧者角色。

So there is a lot of research on parentified children, but this eldest daughter syndrome, you know, in that way that online stuff catches fire, what I would say is sometimes the eldest daughter is not necessarily a woman, right?

是以，有很多關於家長化兒童的研究，但這種長女綜合症，你知道，在網上的東西火了，我想說的是，有時長女並不一定是女人，對嗎？

Sometimes the eldest daughter could be an eldest son, but the idea about behind the syndrome is sort of taking more than your share of the family responsibility and all of all the consequences that flow from that, you know, not reaching out like that's the other way to change it.

有時，長女也可能是長子，但綜合症背後的想法是，你承擔的家庭責任超過了你的份額，以及由此產生的所有後果，你知道，不伸出援手就像是改變現狀的另一種方式。

Maybe you do need a little bit of family therapy, or maybe there's a clergy person you can go and unburden yourself to maybe trusted friends, right?

也許你確實需要一點家庭治療，也許你可以去找一個神職人員，向你信任的朋友傾訴，對嗎？

Like but this idea of engaging more social support, that would be sort of my my my real action step for eldest daughters who are struggling with feeling kind of overburdened, overwhelmed and sort of irritated and angry.

對於那些感到負擔過重、不堪重負、煩躁易怒的長女們來說，參與更多的社會支持是我的真正行動步驟。

Find yourself some support, have the communication.

給自己找一些支持，進行溝通。

We appreciate the great conversation day, Kirsten.

感謝您今天的精彩談話，科斯頓。