Name: 怎樣說話才能獲得別人的信任？► 關鍵在於這兩件事情... - 凡妮莎‧範‧愛德華茲 Vanessa Van Edwards（中英字幕） (怎樣說話才能獲得別人的信任？► 關鍵在於這兩件事情... - 凡妮莎‧范‧愛德華茲 Vanessa Van Edwards（中英字幕）)
Uploaded: 2025-05-21T09:46:24.000Z
Duration: 4 min 19 s

程度副詞

There's a mistake that happens with very smart people.

非常聰明的人都會犯一個錯誤。

他們想用他們的聰明才智打擊你。

And so they come into interaction on a video call.

於是，他們通過視頻通話進行了互動。

他們會說，我想讓你大吃一驚。

So they mentioned accolades and numbers and fancy facts and rehearsed answers.

於是，他們提到了榮譽、數字、花哨的事實和排練過的答案。

And people will see them as impressive, capable, powerful, but cold, intimidating, hard to talk to.

人們會認為他們令人印象深刻、能幹、強大，但冷酷、令人生畏、難以交談。

And so and this is what the research found, competence without warmth leaves people feeling suspicious.

是以，研究發現，沒有溫度的能力會讓人產生懷疑。

As humans, when we first meet another human, the very first question we ask about them is, can I trust you?

作為人類，當我們第一次見到另一個人時，我們問的第一個問題就是：我能信任你嗎？

Right, so like from across the room, on a video call, in an email, we are looking, can I trust you?

是的，所以就像在房間的另一頭、在視頻通話中、在電子郵件中，我們都在尋找，我能信任你嗎？

Are you on my side, are you a threat, can I, can I make sure that I'm not going to be at harm?

你是站在我這邊的嗎，你是威脅嗎，我能確保我不會受到傷害嗎？

Not just physical harm, but even like emotional harm.

不僅是身體上的傷害，甚至像精神上的傷害。

The next question we answer, and it is the next question is, can I rely on you?

我們要回答的下一個問題是：我能依靠你嗎？

When we look at words, I love power word choice, what research finds is when we read words like collaborate.

研究發現，當我們讀到 "合作 "這樣的詞時，就會想到 "力量 "這個詞。

When we read words like power, we are more likely to be powerful.

當我們讀到 "力量 "這樣的字眼時，我們就更有可能變得強大。

So here's what they did, they had participants come into the lab, and they gave them like um a quiz, like a math test they had to solve.

他們是這樣做的，讓參與者來到實驗室，然後給他們做一個小測驗，就像他們必須解決的數學測試一樣。

One set of participants got a set of directions that was very simple, it said, please take this test, take your time, answer all the questions correctly.

其中一組參與者拿到了一套非常簡單的說明，上面寫著：請參加這次測試，慢慢來，正確回答所有問題。

The second group got the same set of directions, but they sprinkled in a couple of high achievement words or achievement oriented words.

第二組得到的是同樣的指令，但他們在指令中加入了一些高成就詞或以成就為導向的詞。

So achievement oriented words are like win, succeed, master, achieve.

是以，以成就為導向的詞語有：win（贏）、success（成功）、master（掌握）、achieve（實現）。

They wanted to know if just adding in a couple of achievement oriented words would change participants behavior.

他們想知道，僅僅加入幾個以成就為導向的詞是否就能改變參與者的行為。

Just those achievement oriented words made them get more answers right.

這些以成績為導向的詞語讓他們答對了更多的答案。

So it actually changed their performance.

是以，這實際上改變了他們的表現。

In other words, reading the word win makes you think more like a winner, it changes your physiology to be more like a winner.

換句話說，讀到 "贏 "這個字，你的思維就會更像贏家，生理機能也會隨之改變，變得更像贏家。

Second, that's where I think gets more interesting, it doubled, doubled their desire to work on the task.

其次，我認為更有趣的是，他們對完成任務的渴望增加了一倍。

So it made them work on the quiz longer and it made them enjoy working on the quiz.

是以，這讓他們做測驗的時間更長，也讓他們更喜歡做測驗。

And lastly it actually changed our physiology.

最後，它實際上改變了我們的生理結構。

So when we read words like this, it actually changes how we think and how we feel.

是以，當我們讀到這樣的文字時，它實際上改變了我們的思維方式和感受。

If you open up your last five sent emails to important people, only the important ones.

如果你打開最近發送給重要人物的五封郵件，只打開重要的郵件。

And you count the number of warm words you're using and the number of competent words you're using, you will see exactly how you're coming across to others.

數一數你使用了多少熱情洋溢的詞語，又使用了多少幹練的詞語，你就會清楚地知道自己在別人心目中的形象是怎樣的。

That the best thing you can do is open with warmth, hit them with competence and end with purpose.

你能做的最好的事情就是以熱情開場，以能力打動他們，以目標結束。

If you've ever been in a meeting and you blanked out, you want to give yourself a distancing behavior or gift yourself a distancing behavior.

如果你曾在一次會議上頭腦一片空白，你就會想給自己一個疏遠的行為，或者給自己一個疏遠的禮物。

The problem is, is when you're in it, right, so you're in a presentation, you're on stage, you're on a video call, you're in a date and you blank out, you're in it.

問題是，當你置身其中時，對吧，所以你在演講中、在舞臺上、在視頻通話中、在約會中，你的大腦一片空白，你就置身其中了。

And usually you're like leaned in, you're leaned forward, you wanna do it.

通常，你會靠在一起，身體前傾，你想這樣做。

And what people make the mistake of doing is they go further in, they go, um, that is actually the worst thing you can do, you're actually overloading your prefrontal cortex by trying to get more.

而人們所犯的錯誤是，他們越陷越深，這其實是最糟糕的事情，你試圖獲得更多，實際上是在讓你的前額葉皮層超負荷運轉。

What I want you to actually do is back up, so I want you to give yourself physical and emotional distance.

我要你真正做的是後退，所以我要你給自己留出身體和情感上的距離。

So if you're in that, just take a step back, either sit back or take a step back, try to angle your head back, that changes the nature of your brain.

是以，如果你處於這種狀態，只要後退一步，要麼坐下來，要麼後退一步，試著把頭往後仰，這樣就能改變你大腦的性質。

So if you ever blank out, don't lean in, lean back, take a step back, take a breath back, grab your water, right?

所以，如果有一天你腦子裡一片空白，不要往裡靠，往後靠，後退一步，深吸一口氣，拿起你的水，對嗎？

That's how I want you to do it, it's super smooth and it actually helps that reset.

我就是想讓你這樣做，這樣做非常流暢，而且實際上有助於重置。

That's what we're actually doing for ourselves.

這其實就是我們為自己做的事情。

And if you're alone, of course, you can do the self touch.

當然，如果你是一個人，也可以進行自我撫摸。

Your suprasternal notch, this little notch right here between your two collar bones.

你的胸骨上凹槽，就是兩塊鎖骨之間的這個小凹槽。

When we touch even anywhere in this area, including like our neck, it reminds us of like calm down, calm down.

當我們觸摸這個區域的任何地方時，包括脖子，它都會提醒我們冷靜下來，冷靜下來。

You know that instinctively, that's giving you a nice physiological response of staying calm.

你知道，本能地，這會讓你產生保持冷靜的良好生理反應。

And this is why I think that before you walk into a room, before you walk on a date, before you walk in networking event, if you can get yourself right, if you can show up as your most confident, competent self, if you know that you have all these cues in your back pocket, you know your stuff, you really have good intention to be warm and trustworthy, that makes you super contagious in a good way.

這就是為什麼我認為，在你走進房間之前，在你參加約會之前，在你參加社交活動之前，如果你能擺正自己的位置，如果你能以最自信、最能幹的自我示人，如果你知道你的口袋裡有所有這些線索，你瞭解自己的東西，你真的有良好的意願去做一個溫暖、值得信賴的人，這會讓你以一種好的方式具有超強的感染力。