Name: 為什麼我們會覺得自己寂寞又奇怪？(Why We Feel Lonely and Odd)
Uploaded: 2021-03-27T21:01:20.000Z
Duration: 3 min 44 s

反身代名詞

One of the most basic facts about the human condition is that we know ourselves from the inside,

關於人類的處境，最基本的一個事實就是，我們透過內在了解自己，

but we know others only from what they choose or are able to tell us, a far more limited and edited set of data.

但我們只能透過他人選擇性或可公開的資訊認識他們，這些資訊非常有限而且經過包裝。

情態副詞

We are continuously and intimately exposed to our own worries, hopes, desires, and memories,

我們持續地受困於自己的擔憂、期待、願望與回憶中，

many of which feel overwhelmingly intense, strange, vulnerable, or sad.

這些都會讓我們感到無比地緊張、陌生、脆弱或傷心。

Yet, when it comes to other people, we are tightly restricted to knowing them through their public pronouncements, to what they can or choose to reveal.

然而，論及他人，我們僅能從他們想要或能公開的訊息中認識他們。

The hints and clues we're left to play with are hugely imperfect guides to the reality of another person's existence.

我們得到這些的暗示和線索相當不完整，不足以讓我們了解他們的真實面貌。

The result of—what we termed as Psychological Asymmetry—is that we almost always think of ourselves as far more peculiar, shameful, and alarming than other people we run into.

我們將這種結果稱為「心理認知偏差」，因為我們總是認為自己比別人更特殊、可恥、驚慌。

Our experiences of anxiety, anger, envy, sex, and distress appear to be so much more intense and disturbing than those of anyone in the vicinity.

我們經歷的憂慮、憤怒、嫉妒、性慾與悲傷使我們比身邊的任何人都更緊張、煩惱。

We aren't, of course, in truth, really so odd; we just know a lot more about who we are.

我們並不真的是個怪咖，我們只是夠了解自己。

The results of Psychological Asymmetry are loneliness and shyness.

心理認知偏差會導致孤獨與羞怯。

We are beset by loneliness because we cannot imagine that others long and desire, envy and hate, crave and weep as we do.

我們因孤獨而困擾，因為我們無法想像別人跟我們一樣的會渴望與期望、忌妒與憎恨、懇求與悲嘆。

We feel ourselves cast out into a world of strangers,

我們感覺自己被仍進充滿陌生人的世界，

inherently different from everyone we live alongside, and potentially, fundamentally offensive to all those who might know us properly.

天生與我們生活周遭的人格格不入，並隱隱地從根本上冒犯所有可能了解我們的人。

It appears, in dark moments, that no one could possibly both know and like us.

在低潮的時刻，我們總認為沒有人會喜歡我們真實的面貌。

We also get shy, easily intimidated by people who we assume cannot share in our vulnerabilities

面對我們認為不懂我們的脆弱面的人，我們感到害羞、膽怯，

and whom we imagine would be entirely unable to relate to the petty, grand, perverse, or idealistic thoughts that pass moment by moment through our minds.

我們認為他們完全無法理解我們腦中那些瑣碎、宏偉、反常或理想化的想法。

If we reach important positions, we feel like impostors, beset by an impression that our quirks separate us from others who have occupied comparable roles in the past.

如果我們擁有重要的頭銜、地位，我們會覺得自己像冒牌貨，我們的怪癖使我們覺得自己與過去處在類似位置的人完全不同，並因此深感苦惱。

We grow boring and conventional, mimicking the externals of other people on the false assumption that this is what they might truly be like inside.

我們逐漸變得死板、保守，並開始模仿他人，因為我們誤以為這就是他們的真實面貌。

The solutions to Psychological Asymmetry lie in two places: art and love.

解決心理認知偏差的方法有兩種：藝術與愛。

Art provides us with accurate portrayals of the inner lives of strangers,

藝術準確地描繪了陌生人的內心世界，

and, with grace and compelling charm, shows us how much they share in troubles and hopes we thought we might be alone in experiencing.

以優雅且迷人的方式展現陌生人也有擔憂和願望，我們不像我們想的那麼孤獨。

And love gives us an occasional, deeply precious sense of security to reveal who we really are to another person and the opportunity to learn about their reality from a position of extreme secure proximity.

愛則不時地賦予我們珍貴的安全感，讓我們能夠誠實地面對他人，並讓我們近距離地了解他人的真面貌。

To overcome the effects of Psychological Asymmetry, we must constantly trust—especially in the absence of any evidence—

為了克服心理認知偏差的影響，我們得相信，尤其在沒有任何證據的情況下，

that everyone is likely to be far closer to what we are—that is, far shyer, more scared, more worried, and more incomplete—

其他人可能與我們十分相似（即更害羞怯、更害怕、更擔心、更不完整），

than they are to resemble the personas they show to the world.

We are fortunately not, any of us, quite as odd or quite as special, as we might assume or fear.

幸運的是，我們沒有我們想像的那麼怪異或特別。

At the School of Life, we believe in developing emotional intelligence.

在「人生學校」中，我們相信情商是可以培養的。

To that end, we've also created a whole range of products to support that growth.