At the very beginning you struggle with the little things, but you usually choose to ignore them.

剛開始你會受一些小事困擾，但你通常會選擇忽略它們。

It's like a headache. You'll tell yourself it's temporary and it'll pass.

它就像是頭痛。你告訴自己這只是暫時的、一切很快就會過去。

It's just another bad day.

這只是糟糕的一天罷了。

But it's not. You're stuck in this state of mind.

但並非如此。你會一直被困在這種精神狀態中。

You get used to putting on a social mask and you continue to live among other people,

你習慣戴上社交面具，如往常般在人群中生活，

because that's what you have to do. That's what others do.

因為你應該這麼做，其他人也是這樣。

However, the problem does not go away.

然而，問題並不會因此消失。

You struggle to put on a play every day.

每天你都努力地偽裝著自己。

And it starts to cost you more and more.

這讓你愈來愈疲倦。

That is why you fall even deeper.

這就是你墜入更深的絕境之因。

And that's when you slowly start to back away from friends and family,

這也是你慢慢遠離朋友與家人的開始。

Sometimes completely shutting them out.

有時候還會完全把他們隔絕在外。

All satisfaction is gone.

所有的滿足感已然消逝。

The old things that used to bring you joy are now worthless.

以往會帶給你快樂的事變得毫無價值可言。

Even the simplest tasks become painful.

即使是最簡單的事情也令你感到痛苦。

That is why you lack motivation. Now... why would you keep on trying if nothing makes you happy anyway.

因此你失去了動機。那麼，如果失去開心的理由，為何還要繼續嘗試呢？

All of this makes you feel even worse and you get caught up in a vicious circle.

這些想法讓你的感受更糟糕，你被深深地困在惡性循環中。

Suddenly you find yourself living in slow motion.

你突然發現自己活在慢動作裡。

Days become indistinguishable.

日子逐漸變得無法辨識。

Just white noise, just heaviness, filling your mind and spilling over your body.

只剩下白噪音和沉重感，充斥著你的身心。

You feel as though you'll never be happy again.

你覺得自己再也不會感到快樂了。

You continue to back away and destroy relationships.

你繼續逃離一切並破壞與他人的關係。

You're ashamed for everything you've done and everything you haven't.

你對所有做過和沒做的事情感到羞愧。

There is a part of you that wants to make things right.

有一部分的你想讓一切恢復正常。

A sudden positive upsurge makes you want to go out and meet people

一種突如其來的積極感讓你渴望踏出家門與他人交流，

but it's all very short-lived because you know it won't work anyway.

但這種感覺十分短暫，因為你知道無論如何一切不會回到正軌。

Things that make your friends excited leave you indifferent

你冷眼看待那些令你的朋友感到興奮的事情。

and you become aware of the huge gap that lies between you.

而你逐漸意識到你們之間存在巨大的鴻溝。

Another failure is not an option,

再次失敗是必然的。

so in the end you choose to be alone in your comfort zone where no one asks any questions.

所以最後你選擇在沒有人打擾的舒適圈中獨處。

The low self esteem and the lack of purpose become unbearable.

自卑感與缺乏目標逐漸令你無法忍受。

You finally realize you can't go on that way and two things can happen:

你終於明白自己不能再繼續這樣下去，可能會發生兩件事：

you either decide to get some help,

你要不決定尋求他人幫助，

or you might attempt a suicide.

要不就是選擇自殺。