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  • Depression creeps upon you quietly.

    憂鬱症悄然襲來。

  • At the very beginning you struggle with the little things, but you usually choose to ignore them.

    剛開始你會受一些小事困擾,但你通常會選擇忽略它們。

  • It's like a headache. You'll tell yourself it's temporary and it'll pass.

    它就像是頭痛。你告訴自己這只是暫時的、一切很快就會過去。

  • It's just another bad day.

    這只是糟糕的一天罷了。

  • But it's not. You're stuck in this state of mind.

    但並非如此。你會一直被困在這種精神狀態中。

  • You get used to putting on a social mask and you continue to live among other people,

    你習慣戴上社交面具,如往常般在人群中生活,

  • because that's what you have to do. That's what others do.

    因為你應該這麼做,其他人也是這樣。

  • However, the problem does not go away.

    然而,問題並不會因此消失。

  • You struggle to put on a play every day.

    每天你都努力地偽裝著自己。

  • And it starts to cost you more and more.

    這讓你愈來愈疲倦。

  • That is why you fall even deeper.

    這就是你墜入更深的絕境之因。

  • And that's when you slowly start to back away from friends and family,

    這也是你慢慢遠離朋友與家人的開始。

  • Sometimes completely shutting them out.

    有時候還會完全把他們隔絕在外。

  • All satisfaction is gone.

    所有的滿足感已然消逝。

  • The old things that used to bring you joy are now worthless.

    以往會帶給你快樂的事變得毫無價值可言。

  • Even the simplest tasks become painful.

    即使是最簡單的事情也令你感到痛苦。

  • That is why you lack motivation. Now... why would you keep on trying if nothing makes you happy anyway.

    因此你失去了動機。那麼,如果失去開心的理由,為何還要繼續嘗試呢?

  • All of this makes you feel even worse and you get caught up in a vicious circle.

    這些想法讓你的感受更糟糕,你被深深地困在惡性循環中。

  • Suddenly you find yourself living in slow motion.

    你突然發現自己活在慢動作裡。

  • Days become indistinguishable.

    日子逐漸變得無法辨識。

  • Just white noise, just heaviness, filling your mind and spilling over your body.

    只剩下白噪音和沉重感,充斥著你的身心。

  • You feel as though you'll never be happy again.

    你覺得自己再也不會感到快樂了。

  • You continue to back away and destroy relationships.

    你繼續逃離一切並破壞與他人的關係。

  • You're ashamed for everything you've done and everything you haven't.

    你對所有做過和沒做的事情感到羞愧。

  • There is a part of you that wants to make things right.

    有一部分的你想讓一切恢復正常。

  • A sudden positive upsurge makes you want to go out and meet people

    一種突如其來的積極感讓你渴望踏出家門與他人交流,

  • but it's all very short-lived because you know it won't work anyway.

    但這種感覺十分短暫,因為你知道無論如何一切不會回到正軌。

  • Things that make your friends excited leave you indifferent

    你冷眼看待那些令你的朋友感到興奮的事情。

  • and you become aware of the huge gap that lies between you.

    而你逐漸意識到你們之間存在巨大的鴻溝。

  • Another failure is not an option,

    再次失敗是必然的。

  • so in the end you choose to be alone in your comfort zone where no one asks any questions.

    所以最後你選擇在沒有人打擾的舒適圈中獨處。

  • The low self esteem and the lack of purpose become unbearable.

    自卑感與缺乏目標逐漸令你無法忍受。

  • You finally realize you can't go on that way and two things can happen:

    你終於明白自己不能再繼續這樣下去,可能會發生兩件事:

  • you either decide to get some help,

    你要不決定尋求他人幫助,

  • or you might attempt a suicide.

    要不就是選擇自殺。

Depression creeps upon you quietly.

憂鬱症悄然襲來。

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真實獨白:我有憂鬱症,這是我的感受 (LIVING WITH DEPRESSION)

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    Amy.Lin 發佈於 2017 年 04 月 27 日
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