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  • I'm here with Hans and Simon.

    現在我旁邊的是Hans (某德國香腸的牌子)和Simon

  • Is that right?

    對嗎?

  • Which one are you? (laughs) No, no.

    是哪一位啊?(笑) 不,不是

  • What? I'm Franz.

    什麼? 我是Franz

  • Franz, I thought you were Hans.

    Franz,我以為你是Hans

  • No, Franz.

    不,是Franz

  • And you're, what are you, you're Dietrich?

    那你是,你是誰,Dietrich?

  • You're Simon.

    你是Simon

  • Simon...

    Simon

  • Hans. Hans.

    Hans. Hans

  • No, Franz.

    不是啦,是Franz

  • Franz.

    Franz

  • What?

    蝦咪?

  • Franz.

    Franz

  • Arrgh.

  • I've had a lot of these.

    我喝太多了

  • Today I want to learn traditional Bavarian dance.

    今天我想學跳傳統的巴伐利亞舞蹈

  • You guys are experts.

    你們是專家

  • We are.

    是的

  • You are brothers.

    你們是兄弟

  • This is the, what is happening now?

    這是什麼啊?

  • There's a vest here.

    是個背心

  • That's a vest, yes.

    沒錯

  • This is like sort of like a leprechaun thing.

    有點像是(愛爾蘭傳說的)小妖精穿的

  • And then you have-

    然後還有...

  • These are lederhosen.

    這是皮短褲

  • Well, they're bondage shorts.

    喔,這是束褲吧

  • What's going on with the socks?

    那這個襪子是怎麼了?

  • [Franz] It's called loferl.

    它叫Loferl(德文)

  • I'm sure that's German for pieces of socks.

    我想這一定是襪子碎片的德文

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • What's going on here?

    這是什麼啊?

  • You've got two spoons in your pocket,

    口袋裡有兩個湯匙

  • what do you use those for?

    它們是用來幹嘛的?

  • (spoons tapping) (folk music)

    (輕拍湯匙)(民族音樂)

  • (audience applause)

    (觀眾笑)

  • It hurts!

    很痛欸!

  • It's painful.

    這很痛!

  • You brought a musician with you?

    你們還帶了伴奏來?

  • Appreciate you leaving your cuckoo clock to be here.

    很高興你沒帶咕咕鐘來這

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • It's a big house.

    那是個大屋子

  • How do you say "zing" in German?

    德文「zing」怎麼說?

  • Zing, got him.

    Zing(挑剔之意),是他吧

  • Right?

    對吧?

  • Yeah.

  • You guys have worked together before?

    你們之前共事過嗎?

  • Yes, we, have.

    是,我們,共事過

  • Are you their father?

    你是他們的爸爸嗎?

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • You're the father.

    你是爸爸

  • No one told me that!

    沒人告訴過我啊

  • What the hell?

    搞什麼

  • You just found out that this is your father?

    你是剛發現他是你爸嗎?

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Suddenly I'm the German Maury Povich.

    我突然變成德國版的莫瑞·波維奇了(美國以前的脫口秀主持人)

  • I deserve a swig after that.

    在開始之前我先來上一口

  • I think I should begin, learn some dance,

    我想應該要開始學些舞蹈了

  • we're gonna learn some, what kind of dancing is it called?

    我們要學...這種舞蹈叫什麼啊?

  • Schuhplattler.

    Schuhplattler(起源於巴伐利亞、德國以及奧地利的巴伐利亞民族舞)

  • Schuhplattler.

    Schuhplattler

  • Schuhplattler.

    Schuhplattler

  • You can't learn the Schuhplattler

    你的樣子不像巴伐利亞人

  • when you don't look like a Bavarian.

    就不能學Schuhplattler

  • (accordion fanfare)

    (手風琴演奏)

  • (audience cheers and claps)

    (觀眾歡呼拍手)

  • I’m ready to learn. Looking good.

    我準備好了,著裝完畢

  • Good to see you.

    很高興看到你們

  • Groupa, schtarmia, let us begin.

    Groupa, schtarmia, 我們開始吧

  • (singing in foreign language)

    (外語唱歌)

  • (Conan holds a high note)

    (Conan飆高音)

  • (Conan sings in foreign language)

    (外語唱歌)

  • (audience cheers)

    (觀眾歡呼)

  • We're gonna show you what you got yourself into.

    我們先示範跳一次你待會要學的

  • Okay.

    OK

  • (shoes tapping)

    (鞋子踏步)

  • (folk music)

    (民族音樂)

  • (shrieking)

    (尖叫)

  • You think I could learn this?

    你覺得我學得來嗎?

  • But I'm not like your sons, you can't beat me

    但我不是你兒子,

  • with a wooden stick to make me dance.

    你不能用木棒逼我跳舞

  • They didn't want this, this isn't what they wanted.

    他們也不想要這樣,這不是他們想做的啊

  • They wanted to work with computers.

    他們想用電腦工作啊

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • No, no!

    不行,不行!

  • They can do both.

    他們可以兼顧的

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Come on. Come on.

    來吧來吧

  • The guy's a monster.

    那傢伙是怪物

  • One, two, three, four, onetzee, pantzee, badampampam.

    一,二,三,四.............

  • I mean close enough.

    我跳得夠像了

  • Closer, please.

    請在跳像一點

  • Closer.

    像一點

  • Stick.

    忍住

  • You guys know what I'm talking about.

    你們了解我在說什麼吧

  • So one, two, three, four, pa-

    一,二,三,四...

  • Where are your hands?

    你的手咧?

  • Exactly.

  • You knew where my hands were.

    你們知道我的手在哪啊

  • Don't be a dick and say "Where are they?"

    別像個警察,然後問他們在哪?

  • I think we know where they are.

    我覺得我們應該都知道他們在哪

  • How come you have no accent?

    你怎沒口音啊?

  • I don't understand what's happening here.

    我搞不懂這裡到底是怎麼了

  • First of all you are, I mean, clearly

    第一,你呢,顯然是...

  • you were carved out of a sausage.

    你簡直就是刻出來的香腸模子

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • And then you actually seem like a German guy.

    你確實像個德國人

  • This guy is like,

    啊這位就像是

  • "Dude, let's wax up the board, let's catch some rays."

    「老兄,我們來衝浪,做日光浴吧」

  • What's happened to him?

    他是怎麼了?

  • Do you know Billy Joel's the piano man?

    你知道鋼琴家比利喬嗎?

  • Yeah, I've heard about.

    知道啊,我聽過

  • (speaks in German)

    (德語)

  • We're not talking about that.

    我們不是在講那個

  • I'm just asking if you knew Billy Joe's the piano man,

    我只是問你知不知道鋼琴家比利喬

  • that's all.

    就這樣

  • Later on.

    待會再說

  • First work, then the fun.

    先工作,再來玩

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Fun childhood for both of you.

    你們兩個的童年還真有趣

  • Two, three, hit it.

    二,三,開始

  • Hey, one second.

    嘿,等等

  • Again, ah?

    再一次,蛤?

  • So you play-

    你要...

  • I think you started a little early.

    我覺得你有點搶拍了

  • No, I just gave you the chance to be in the right spot.

    沒有,我只是給你機會跟上舞步

  • [Franz] So Conan, come on.

    [Franz] Conan, 拜託啦

  • Does he ever admit he's wrong?

    他是從不承認錯誤嗎?

  • No.

  • One recommendation, group therapy.

    給你個建議,集體療法

  • Would you think about it, with your two sons?

    你和你兒子有考慮到嗎?

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • So you're saying no therapy, let's just keep

    所以你的意思是沒有療法,

  • with this insane scheme of yours,

    就是繼續你那瘋狂的計劃

  • to make your children dance and dance and dance

    讓你的孩子一直跳一直跳一直跳

  • until the grave.

    跳到進墳墓

  • Ready?

    準備好囉?

  • Just one suggestion.

    給你個建議

  • Don't spread your fingers like this.

    不要像這樣張開手指

  • We know you have 10 fingers.

    我們都知道你有10支手指

  • It looks better to do that.

    這樣比較好看

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (audience applause)

    (觀眾鼓掌)

  • Two, three, four.

    二,三,四

  • (hands and shoes tapping) (folk music)

    (手和鞋子輕拍踏)(民族音樂)

  • (shrieking)

    (尖叫)

  • (audience cheering and clapping)

    (觀眾歡呼鼓掌)

  • Pretty good.

    非常好

  • You know, I'm only in town for a couple days.

    你知道我只在這城鎮待幾天而已

  • I think this is pretty good.

    我覺得這夠好了

  • Now, I know not by this guy's standards.

    我知道還不到那傢伙的標準啦

  • There are certainly a few things which we could improve.

    顯然我們還有很多進步空間

  • You just do like, you just hit us.

    你只要這樣做,和我們互擊

  • Got it?

    懂嗎?

  • (hands tapping)

    (手拍打)

  • Oh.

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Hey!

    嘿!

  • Which one hit me in the face?

    誰打我臉?

  • Who did that?

    誰幹的?

  • You guys have been doing this since you were fetuses.

    你們從出生就在做這種事

  • I mean, literally you were born,

    就是字面上的意思

  • your dad squeezed you into some leather pants,

    你們一出生老爸就要你們穿皮褲

  • started hitting you with the wooden spoons,

    開始拿著木湯匙敲來敲去

  • and making you live out this sick dream.

    讓你們活在這病態的夢裡

  • And now you're ganging up on me.

    現在你們又聯合起來對付我

  • And I don't like it.

    我不喜歡這樣

  • I wanna bring in someone who's the most German guy I know.

    我要請我認識最像德國人的人來

  • Could you come in here, please?

    可以麻煩你進來嗎?

  • Wie geht es, boys.

    你們好嗎?(德語)

  • Andy.

    Andy

  • What are you doing here?

    你來這幹嘛?

  • Well, this is the only place

    這裡是唯一

  • I can really be in my natural state

    真正讓我做自己的地方

  • without breaking up too many marriages (laughs).

    也不會破壞太多的婚姻(笑)

  • Hear these?

    聽到了嗎?

  • This is like the reason you put a bell on a cat.

    這就像為何你要為貓掛鈴鐺

  • So it can't catch too many birds.

    這樣他才不會抓到太多的鳥

  • Ladies gonna be sneaking up on us.

    女士們就會悄悄得靠近

  • Because of your German roots,

    因為你的德國血統,

  • I think this is gonna come very natural for you.

    我想這對你來說應該會很自在

  • Alright, let's give it a try.

    好了,我們來試試吧

  • Okay.

    OK

  • (folk music)

    (民族音樂)

  • (hands tapping)

    (腳踏步)

  • (shrieking)

    (尖叫)

  • You condone this?

    你能接受嗎?

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Yes.

  • Brother-on-brother ass play, that's insane.

    兄弟互相打屁股,真的是太狂了

  • That's kinda weird.

    是有點怪啦

  • Yeah.

    對啊

  • Hold on.

    撐住

  • (folk music)

    (民族音樂)

  • (audience laughing an cheering)

    (觀眾笑和歡呼)

  • You enjoyed watching that?

    你看得很開心嗎?

  • Us slapping each other's asses?

    看我們互相打對方的屁股?

  • You like that?

    你喜歡看嗎?

  • It's part of the show.

    這只是節目的一部分而已

  • Oh yeah, everything's part of your little show, isn't it?

    喔是啊,每個都是你的小節目的一部分,不是嗎?

  • I know what you've been doing,

    我知道你在幹嘛,

  • and it stops now.

    現在夠了

  • It stops now.

    夠了你

  • (folk music)

    (民族音樂)

I'm here with Hans and Simon.

現在我旁邊的是Hans (某德國香腸的牌子)和Simon

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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 TeamCoco 觀眾 民族 德文 德國 歡呼

超好笑!Conan快被傳統德國舞蹈課逼瘋 (Conan & Andy Richter Learn A Traditional German Dance - CONAN on TBS)

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    Jenny 發佈於 2017 年 01 月 15 日
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