It's time for me to complain about YouTube, again... I. I.. I know.

是時候讓我抱怨來YouTube，再次... 我，我。我知道。

Can someone just stop YouTube from themselves?

有人可以阻止YouTube嗎？

I feel like YouTube is like a toddler,

我覺得像YouTube就像一個蹣跚學步，

Playing with knives and l, let's just take the knife away from that baby.

拿刀一起玩，讓我們從寶寶身上拿走刀。

Stop stop doing... STOP!

停停止做...... STOP！

Now if you don't know what I'm talking about, YOU probably don't know what I'm talking about;

現在，如果你不知道我在說什麼，你可能不知道我在說什麼;

Because it doesn't affect you in any way possible so literally you can click away the video right now.

因為這在任何方面上都不會影響到你，所以簡單來說你可以馬上離開這影片

I MEAN NO!

我是說......當然不！

IT MATTERS DAMNIT!

這當然有關係，該死！

I don't know if you noticed this. This has been a problem for a very long time:

我不知道你是否注意到了這點，這已經是個老問題了：

Number one: YouTube unsubbing you from a channel even though you didn't unsub;

第一：YouTube取消你對一個頻道的訂閱，即使你沒有取消訂閱;

Number two: Videos not appearing for the person you subscribed to.

第二：視頻沒有顯示您訂閱的人。

Remember, remember the Sub Feed?

切記，切記訂閱？

Remember when that was a thing?

還記得那是什么東西嗎？

This is what we get now we get the Recommended where's the fucking Sub Feed?

這就是我們現在看到的建議影片，該死的訂閱頻道在哪？

Oh it's there........

哦，在那啊......

No one clicks on it.

沒有人點擊它。

Now, I used to be subscribed to h3h3 and I was like why am I not seeing their videos.

現在，我以前有訂閱h3h3而我當時想，為什麼我沒有看到他們的視頻。

Well I'm unsubscribed for some reason...

嗯，我取消訂閱出於某種原因...

WHY?

為什麼？

A channel that I've actually watched like, regularly why would I be unsubscribed?

我已經實際定期觀看我喜愛的頻道，為什麼我會取消訂閱？

And then channels I haven't touched in fucking years I'm still subscribed to.

然後，我還在訂閱我幾百年沒看的頻道？

HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE?

這他媽的一點都不合理！

Now you may have noticed that my channel is dying okay? Let's just get that out of the way.

現在你可能已經注意到，我的頻道就要完蛋了

Okay, my channel is...

就讓我們直說好了

It's going down

好吧，我的頻道...

It's going down hard.

已经跌下去了。

If you're still here you need to get the fuck out

已经跌到很低了。

Cuz' it's not going to be pretty from now on.

如果你還在這裡，你需要离开这他媽的地方。

I'm using reverse psychology.

因为從現在開始這不會是好的。

Please stay I clearly fucking need you.

我使用的逆反心理。

Well basically, when I was, uh, doing the daily vlogs

請留下來，我很明顯的他媽的需要你！

I noticed how

嗯，基本上，當我在，嗯，做生活日誌

Really poorly they performed.

我注意到

I was really surprised by this

實際出來的成效真的很差

Cause generally vlogs do really well and last year I did them

我真的感到意外

And uh

通常這些日誌成效很好，在我去年做的影片中

They were fine.

然後

But I noticed

還不錯？

Like

但我注意到，像是

Some videos didn't even get two million views.

有些影片甚至連200萬觀看次數都沒有

I know

我知道

Didn't even get two million

「甚至連200萬觀看次數都沒有」

But that's really bad for me

但是，這真的讓我不好受。

That's unheard of for me

這是我頭一次聽到

For the last

大概最近...

Four years, probably

四年來，大概

Three, four years

三到四年

So, for that to happen I must be really doing badly

所以會這樣，應該是我做的真的不好

To my standards

在我的標準

They're pretty high

相當高的標準

So I'm like, well I guess people don't like the vlogs.

所以我想，嗯，我想人們不喜歡這些日誌

But it was weird because all the comments were really supportive and really appreciative

但是這真的很奇怪，因為所有的評論都很支持我並讚賞我的影片

But I could tell that people just weren't clicking on them

但我可以分辨出，人們只是不想點擊影片

So I, you know, we started doing this click bait joke

所以我，你知道的，就開始做搞笑的標題來釣點擊率

Just to kind of draw people in

就是為了要吸引人們

"I filmed all day but I got no, I got no interesting title."

「我拍了一整天的影片，但我想不到，想不到比較有趣的標題」

"I got hit by my own car."

「我被我自己的車撞了」

"Hit by my own car?"

「被我自己的車撞了？」

"You gotta get a good frame in!"

「你應該要找個好角度拍！」

"And that's how you make a YouTube video."

「這就是你如何拍YouTube影片」

And honestly, like, a reason why I

而且說真的，例如..為什麼

I made this video where I said I'm quitting the vlogs

我在做日誌的地方說我不再做生活日誌了

Part of it was because I though no one liked them

部分原因是因為我想沒人喜歡看

I thought that people didn't enjoy them and that's why

我覺得人們從中得不到樂趣，這也是為什麼

Uh, and it's already adding all this stress

呃，這整件事變得很有壓力

So I was like, well it's not worth it if, you know, people don't like the content I'm making

所以我就想，如果不值得的話，你懂的，不喜歡我所製作的內容

We're putting all this effort into it and, and we're too stressed out and too busy

我們在上面付出所有的心力，把自己逼得很忙又很有壓力

And uh

然後，呃

It was really a, a rough time for me

對我來說，真的是段難熬的時間

Now I figured out

現在我懂了

It's because YouTube changed

這是因為YouTube的改變

They changed how you view videos

他們改變了你觀看影片的方式

I asked YouTube, respectful

我很有禮貌的，詢問了Youtube

I wrote a really nice polite email

我寫了一封很好很有禮貌的e-mail

And YouTube said, "Lol, we don't know whats happening."

(親"礙"的Youtube)

HMMM

(現在是在搞什麼飛機啊老兄？)

Can someone stop YouTube from themself please

和YouTube說「呵呵，我們不知道發生什麼事」

All I want is that the people that subscribe to me

嗯嗯嗯嗯~

Get to watch my videos

有人可以阻止Youtube把他們自己弄得一團亂嗎？

I don't give a shit about whatever else you do

我要的是，讓訂閱我的人

Okay

去觀看我的影片

But that seems like the core foundation of pretty much the most simple

我不管你做其他什麼有的沒的

Fucking thing that you need to do

好的

Oh, and don't unsub me from channels that I'm watching

但是，似乎核心基礎幾乎是最簡單的

Now what you can do!

你他媽需要做的事

You can double subscribe now

哦，然後別把我有在看的影片的頻道取消訂閱

Hey, what a great idea

現在，你可以做什麼！

Let's make the subscribtion fucking uselss

現在，您可以訂閱兩倍

Now they gotta double subscribe

嘿嘿，真是個好主意

So, uh, hey 49 million people that I collected over, over six years of hard work

讓訂閱內容系統變的完全無用

Hey, could you do me another favour?

現在，他們得訂閱兩次

That would be, it would be great

所以，嘿，我六年來辛苦累積的4900萬的訂閱者們

Just click on that little bell there

嘿，你可以再幫我一個忙嗎？

And then just be like saved

這會，會很棒的

Not on H3's channel

只要點擊頻道右上的鈴鐺圖案

On my, on my channel

然後打勾保存

Bell me bro!

不是在H3的頻道啦！

Welcome, I hope you enjoyed the video

是在，是在我的頻道

Drop a bell if you liked!

「鈴鐺」我吧老兄！

Is that what I'm gonna have to do now?

歡迎，我希望你喜歡我的影片

So what they're doing instead is that they're recommending videos

如果你喜歡的話就丟個鈴鐺吧！

About people you don't give a shit about

難道我現在真的得做到這樣？

You get recommended whatever the fuck is on the trending tab

所以，他們現在反而是推薦影片

Sorry Zoella, but I don't care what's in your bag, okay?

推薦一些你根本不會去鳥他的影片

Your subscribers do

你在流行影片上被推薦一堆莫名其妙的影片

I am sure

抱歉Zoella，但我不想知道你包包裡有什麼，好嗎？

But keep that shit away from me, okay?

但你的訂閱者們會想知道

As far away as possible, thank you

我確定

I feel like I wanna work at YouTube and just tell them how to do shit

但是讓這狗屎遠離我，好嗎？

I wanna just be like

遠越好，謝謝

Hey

我想在Youtube工作，然後教他們這堆雜事要如何去做

Hey everyone

我想只是像

Stop

嘿

Just stop

嘿大家

Just, you can go home

停止

Hey, I got a crazy idea

停下來

How about we

只是，你就可以回家了

How 'bout we just put back the subscriber feed, how 'bout that?

嘿，我有一個瘋狂的想法

The thing that we had since the beginning of fucking thing that seems to be working just fine

怎麼樣，我們

What I think really is why YouTube is so great

把訂閱者的專欄重新上架，這樣如何？

The relationship, or like, you watch someone on a more personal level

從最他媽一開始就看起來有效的方法就很有成效

I don't think you guys come back just to watch some Swedish retard for a few minutes

我真正所想的是，為什麼Youtube這麼棒

Like maybe you care about me and you care about what I'm doing

上傳者和觀看者之間的關係，或者是更接近的去觀看某個人

At least that's what I like to think

我不認為你們回來只是為了看一個瑞典瘋子好幾分鐘

That is happening at least

就像是你很關心我，或關心我在做的事

But it seems YouTube wants to promote all these random ass fucking videos

至少這是我最希望的

That you don't give a shit about

至少這發生了

That's what they want to promote instead

但似乎YouTube想推薦所有莫名其妙

Instead of you getting these videos of the persons that you choose to subscribe to and that you really enjoy

你根本不會去鳥的影片

Entertainment that you really enjoy consuming

這就是為什麼他們反而想去推薦影片

And really what this does, this change does is that

而非給你你所訂閱的那些真的令你樂在其中的影片

It makes the problem of YouTube having too much clickbait

那些你真的會很想花時間在上面的娛樂影片

Get even more clickbait

而說真的推薦影片所做的

Because 'Top Five videos' or 'Top Ten videos'

這讓Youtube上面有太多釣魚(賺點閱率)的影片

These fuckin' retarded ass videos

獲得更多因釣魚而來的流量

Like, videos that have nothing to do with personality

因為“五大影片”或“前十影片”

Has nothing to do with content

這些該死的白痴影片

Just has a really great title and a really great thumbnail

像是，影片跟你的個性完全沒關係

Ten million views and six days ago

跟內容也完全沒關係

It is really upsetting how they did this change

只是標題和縮圖非常的吸睛

They won't explain what happened properly, to anyone

1000萬觀看數，6天前發布

It's not just me but a lot of YouTubers are noticing this

他們改變的方式真的很令人難過

And the fact that I

他們不會對任何人，好好的解釋到底發生了什麼

It added just a huge amount of stress when I was already like, filming a show for YouTube

不只是我，很多YouTube用戶都注意到了

Uhmm

而事實上，我

It's really fuckin' sad and really discouraging

他們在我製作傳到Youtube的影片時，又施加了很多的壓力

I find that a lot of people that work with YouTube

嗯...

Almost anyone

這真的他媽的讓人難過又使人沒信心

Have no idea what it is like to work on YouTube

我發現，跟Youtube合作的創作者們

As a content creator

幾乎每個人

As, ahh, someone whose built this for years and really cared about it

根本不了解在Youtube上工作到底是什麼感覺

It's, it feels like a kick in the face when they make changes and don't tell anyone about it

作為一個創作者

'Cause this site means so much to YouTubers

作為，呃，某個已經創作好幾年又很重視這些的

Like me and everyone else, it's not just me

就，他們在改變時完全不跟任何人說，就像是在臉上踢了你一腳

Uhm

因為這網站對Youtuber們意義重大

It means the world to us

像我和其他每一個人，不只是我

It's something that we worked really, really hard on and I

嗯...

I don't think they understand

這對我們來說很重要

I don't think they will ever get it if you say why this is such a big problem

像一個我們真的真的很用心打造的世界，而我

They never made a YouTube video

我不認為他們明白

They, I don't know, I imagine, like, that a lot of people that I work with on YouTube

就算你說算這問題這麼嚴重，他們還是不會懂

They think we're just

他們從來沒做過一部Youtube影片

Fuckin' record for fifteen minutes and that's it, you know?

他們，我不知道，我想，像是我在Youtube上合作的許多人

It's a lot of work

他們認為我們只是

I know it's like a meme that YouTube isn't a job, or whatever

他媽的拍攝15分鐘，僅此而已，你知道嗎？

And in a lot of ways, no it fuckin' isn't

這需要很多的心力

I used to work at a nightclub working night shifts and fuckin'

我知道Youtuber不是份工作就像網路上的趣圖，或隨便啦

That was pretty fun actually

很多方面上，不他媽的不是

But, regardless, I know what it's like to have a shitty job and

我曾經在一家夜總會上夜班而且他媽的......

YouTube by far, by far, is the hardest job I have ever had and I've ever, ever had

很有趣啦老實說

And guaranteed will ever have

但是，無論如何，我知道有份爛工作是什麼樣的感覺

Because every successful YouTuber put they're heart and soul into this

YouTube是史上，史上，我目前有過最難做的工作

And we know out channels

並保證永遠不會有更難的

We know if something is wrong and if something has changed

因為每個成功的YouTube用戶全心全力的投注在這上面

I check my videos every single day when I wake up and if something is different and off

而且我知道我們的頻道

I would know about it

我們知道如果出了什麼差錯或什麼改變了

The only reason I didn't know about it was because I was so busy when I was in LA

我每天醒來查看我的影片，看有什麼不同或不合趨勢的

That I couldn't even have time to do anything

我會知道的

I couldn't check these sort of things so I thought it was my fault

我不知道的唯一原因就是我在洛杉磯時忙翻了

And like I said, this is not just affecting me, It's affecting other YouTubers and creators that you care about

我可能根本沒有時間做任何事情

YouTube is tryna' kill my channel

我無法發現諸如此類的事情，所以我認為這是我的錯

It is happening

就像我說的，這不僅僅是影響到我，這是影響你關心其他YouTube使用者和創作者

It's clear if you watch my analytics

YouTube想要殺了我的頻道

It's all going down there and I think my videos are better

這正在發生

I think they're really funny and it seems that you guys enjoy them as well

如果你看我的分析報表很明顯

So it's a shame that it's going in this direction

變的越來越差，而且我覺得我的影片明明更好

I'm not gonna let YouTube win

我覺得我的影片真的很有趣，而且看來你們也看得很是滋味

I see how it is, it's because I have so many subscribers

所以事情會演變成這樣真是恥辱

They're tryna kill my channel

我不會讓YouTube贏的

This is all a conspiracy!

我知道為什麼，因為我有這麼多的觀眾

YouTube wants to kill my channel

Youtube想要殺掉我的頻道

It's because I'm always complaining to them

這一切都是陰謀！

I don't have family friendly content

YouTube想要殺死我的頻道

I clickbait too much, huh, is that it?

這是因為我總是抱怨他們

It all makes sense

我沒有闔家觀賞的內容

YouTube wants my channel gone

我釣太多魚了，呵呵，是嗎？

They want someone else on top

這一切都說得通了

Someone really, extremely, cancerous

YouTube的希望我的頻道不見

Like Lilly Sings

他們希望其他人在頂端

I'm white

某個真的極度，病態的人

Can I make that comment? But I do think that's a problem

像Lilly Sings

And I'm not gonna let YouTube win

我是白人

I'm not gonna let YouTube defeat me

我可以這樣評論嗎？但我真的認為這有很大的問題

So I've decided

而且我不會讓YouTube贏的

The only way to stop my channel from dying

我不會讓YouTube打敗我

I know you're gonna think I'm joking right now

所以我決定

But I'm gonna delete my channel

讓我的頻道不死的方法

I swear to you

我知道你認為我是在開玩笑，

At 50 million subs, when we hit 50 million

但我真的會刪除我的頻道

A huge landmark coming up

我向你發誓

A huge deal, never been done before, no-one's even close

5000萬訂閱者，當我們達到5000萬訂閱者

I am deleting my channel

一個巨大的里程碑

And meanwhile remember to bing that button!

一個巨大的談判，從來沒有做過，也沒人想過

Bing it!

我打算刪除我的頻道

Bing that button!

而與此同時記得按下按鈕！

Do it!

按那(訂閱)按鈕吧！

Bing it!

按下那按鈕！

Well, I hope this video had a decent enough purpose

做吧！

I'm sorry it was a little rambly

按吧！

I was supposed to shoot something else today

嗯，我希望這部影片有夠明確的目的

I will delete my channel once Pewdiepie hits 50 million

很抱歉有些隨便

I think it's gonna be pretty fun, I'm excited to delete my channel

我今天本來應該拍別的

And start fresh

一旦Pewdiepie達到5000萬訂閱，我就會刪除我的頻道

With a new shitty channel probably

我認為這會很有趣，我很雀躍能刪除我的頻道

I won't quit YouTube, I'll just delete the channel

並重新開始

Leave a like if you enjoyed

可能以一個全新爛頻道重新開始

Bell me hard and I'll fuck you later

我不會離開YouTube，我只是刪除我的頻道