- Ashley. Well, no, but...

- Awesome, so she's single. Thanks!

I'm gonna go for it!

(upbeat music)

- Ugh. Everyone's being so creepy tonight.

If another guy comes up to me,

can you pretend to be my girlfriend?

- Yeah, if we can make out.

- (laughs) You're silly.

My neck hurts so bad.

Can you just massage right here?

- Yeah!

- It's killing me. (groans in pleasure)

- There?

- Yeah, perfect.

What did I do?

- I don't know, maybe you slept weird.

- Ugh, Andrew won't text me back.

- Well he's the worst.

- I know, I wish I was a lesbian.

I feel like it'd be easier.

Then I could date Jennifer Lawrence.

- And we both think Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift

are together, and we both love Beyonce.

We just have so much in common.

- Because you guys are friends.

- No, there's like a connection there.

- I think you guys are just friends.

Maybe, like, good friends.

- I think I'm about to get my period.

Do my boobs look big to you?

- Than usual? I don't, um...

- Yeah, they're definitely bigger.

- This is an impossible question.

- Thank you for getting the door.

- Oh, you're welcome!

- You're basically my wife.

- Aw.

- Let's go.

(coughs)

- Water?

- Oh, thanks. You're so sweet to me.

Why can't guys be this sweet to me?

I wish I could just date you.

I fucking hate men.

- Yeah. Yeah, they're gross.

You hate them. We hate them.

- Selfie!

(camera clicks)

- Awww!

- Perfect!

- This is bullshit.

- I know.

(upbeat music)