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  • Sorry, man. Girlfriend.

    抱歉,兄弟。都是我女朋友啦。

  • Uh-oh, you're in trouble?

    啊喔,你惹上麻煩了嗎?

  • She gets pissed off at me for going to the bar too much, so I said I’m not at the bar.

    她因為我太常去酒吧氣炸了,所以我就跟她說我沒去酒吧。

  • She gets more mad when she catches me.

    結果她在酒吧抓包我的時候更氣了。

  • She’s crazy.

    她瘋了。

  • I’ve been there, dude.

    我懂你,兄弟。

  • Just the other day, my girlfriend goes all psycho on me because she thought I was flirting with some chick at the bank.

    有一天,我女朋友對我發神經,因為她以為我在銀行裡跟一些年輕女生調情。

  • It was just a transaction.

    我就只是在處理事情而已。

  • Ha! That’s nuts!

    哈!真是有病!

  • And then, on the way home, she captures this chipmunk.

    然後,在回家的路上,她抓了一隻花栗鼠。

  • And she's been torturing it for, like, the past week.

    她過去大概一個禮拜都在折磨牠。

  • What?

    什麼?

  • You know, she's got this chipmunk and she keeps in the shoebox, and like, she does this little experiment on it, you know.

    牠抓到一支花栗鼠,然後把牠關在鞋盒裡,然後對牠做一些小實驗,你知道的。

  • I don't know, she's crazy, man.

    我不懂,她真的瘋了,兄弟。

  • Yeah.

    對啊。

  • And, I'm not the jealous type, right? Like, you know that about me. I'm not jealous!

    而且,我不是容易吃醋那一型,對吧?你知道的,我不是那種人。我不吃醋!

  • But, she has this necklace that's made out of teeth from an ex-boyfriend. What is that?

    但是她有一條用前男友的牙齒做成的項鍊。到底在幹嘛?

  • That's insane!

    那太瘋狂了!

  • Yes, thank you! It's like, Hello? He's been missing for six months. It's over! Stop acting like a crazy bitch!

    對,謝謝!那種感覺就像是,哈囉?他已經失蹤六個月了。結束了好嗎!可以不要再表現得個像個瘋女人嗎?

  • Dude, that's actual crazy behavior.

    兄弟,那是真正的瘋狂舉動。

  • Yes, thank you. I know! Chicks, man.

    對,謝謝。我知道!女生嘛,兄弟。

  • No, no, no. Your girlfriend's a legit crazy person.

    不不不。你女朋友是個真正的瘋子。

  • Guess we're just a couple of dudes with crazy girlfriends. Am I right?

    我們就是一群有瘋子女友的兄弟啊。對吧?

  • Dave, you need to break up with this girl.

    Dave,你必須跟這個女生分手。

  • Come on, don't do that. I didn't tell you you need to break up with your girlfriend.

    拜託,別這樣。我可沒要你跟你女朋友分手啊。

  • Because she's not actually crazy! That's just something I say when she's mad at me.

    因為她沒有真的發瘋啊!那只是她生我氣時,我會說的話。

  • Yeah, your girlfriend gets mad at you when you drink too much. Mine gets mad when she can’t see the moon.

    對,你女朋友會在你喝太多的時候對你發脾氣。而我女朋友會在她看不到月亮的時候對我發脾氣。

  • No, she’s actually going to murder you. My girlfriend’s just gonna be mildly annoying.

    不,她是真的會謀殺你。我女朋友就只有點煩而已。

  • Yeah, cause she’s fucking crazy, man.

    對,因為她真他媽瘋了,兄弟。

  • She’s not crazy! I’m sorry I said that.

    她不是瘋!抱歉我直話直說。

  • Yeah, cause youre afraid of her? Huh?

    對,因為你很怕她?對吧?

  • No! I’m afraid of your girlfriend.

    不!我怕你的女朋友。

  • Hey, me too, brother!

    我也是誒,兄弟!

  • I’m not trying to relate to you right now. Listen carefully. Guys call their girlfriends crazy whenever they show emotion.

    我現在不是在表示感同身受。仔細聽好。男生在他們的女友情緒不穩定時都會說她們瘋狂。

  • And that is wrong. I see that now because youre dating an actual insane person, and I’m concerned for you.

    而那是不對的。我現在明白了,因為你正在跟一個真的神經病交往,我很擔心你。

  • So, please, break up with your crazy girlfriend.

    所以,拜託你,跟你的瘋子女友分手吧。

  • Yeah, youre right. Youre right. I’ll do it. But only if you do it, too.

    對,你是對的,你是對的。如果你也分的話,我就會分手。

  • She’s gonna make a necklace out of your teeth!

    她以後會用你的牙齒做一條項鍊欸!

  • Oh, shit! she’s here! I guess I’m in the doghouse tonight, right? Bro?

    喔,該死!她來了!我想我今晚慘了,對吧?兄弟?

  • Dave!

    Dave!

  • Dude, run! Girls are crazy!

    兄弟,快跑!女生很瘋狂的!

  • I want the molars!

    我想要你的臼齒!

  • Give me! It’s always with teeth with you!

    拿來!妳很愛牙齒誒!

  • Hey, Guys! It’s Murph from College Humor.

    嘿,大家!我是「大學幽默」的Murph.

  • Click here to subscribe and here to watch more videos, and leave a comment.

    按這裡訂閱,還有按這裡來觀看更多影片,別忘了留下評論喔。

  • I'll get you started. Um, am I the only one who didn't find this funny?

    就會開始囉。呃,只有我覺得這個不好笑嗎?

Sorry, man. Girlfriend.

抱歉,兄弟。都是我女朋友啦。

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