Name: 喜劇演員評析川普伊朗最後通牒與赫格斯對話｜Have I Got News For You (Comedians size up Trump’s Iran ultimatum & Hegseth’s throttle | Have I Got News For You)
Uploaded: 2026-03-29T23:07:20.000Z
Duration: 10 min 58 s
Description: 【看影片學英語】數萬部 YouTube 影片，搭配英漢字典即點即查，輕鬆掌握單字發音與用法，長久累積看電影不必再看字幕。

PSA: This is any airport in America right now, and that's gas.

PSA：這就是現在美國任何一個機場的樣子，而那裡是加油站。

還有，我是說，這看起來是個大新聞。

You got gas prices, you got the Strait of Hormuz, you got the airports.

你有油價、有荷姆茲海峽、有機場。

Nish, what do you— I'd like to start by saying that I'm here on a work visa.

尼許，你…我想先說，我是持工作簽證來的。

So I just want to be incredibly clear: I am going to be telling people that I'm Cash Patel's nephew.

所以我只想非常清楚地說：我會告訴大家我是Cash Patel的姪子。

Can you do the eyes or you got to do the eyes?

The story is, with Iran fighting back and global economic catastrophe looming, it seems that President Trump has painted himself into a bit of a corner with this war, I guess we're still calling it.

故事是這樣的，隨著伊朗反擊以及全球經濟災難逼近，看來川普總統在這個戰爭上把自己逼進了死衚衕，我想我們還是這麼稱呼它吧。

Whatever the hell you want to call it, it is definitely a war we have already won, right?

不管你怎麼稱呼它，這場戰爭我們已經贏了，對吧？

Or we would— look, here's Caroline Leavitt on Wednesday summing it up.

否則我們就—看，這是卡羅琳·李維特在週三的總結。

President Trump dud is not bluff, and he is prepared to unleash hell.

川普總統不是在虛張聲勢，他已經準備好大開殺戒了。

Any violence beyond this point will be because the Iranian regime refused to understand they have already been defeated.

任何超出這個點的暴力，都是因為伊朗政權拒絕理解他們已經戰敗了。

Doesn't that sound like a threat from, like, Bane from Batman?

這聽起來不像蝙蝠俠裡的班恩在發出的威脅嗎？

You refuse to understand you have already been defeated.

Well, it's a little unclear on whether or not we've won the war or not,

嗯，這有點不清楚我們到底有沒有贏得這場戰爭，

but coming into this week, Trump backed himself into a corner.

但進入本週，川普把自己逼進了死衚衕。

How did he get himself out of that corner this week?

He said, "If you don't open the Strait of Hormuz in 48 hours, I'm going to bomb the shit out of you and all your energy stuff." And they were like, "Yeah, okay, bro." And then 48 hours later, he was like, "You know what?

他說：「如果你們不在 48 小時內開放荷姆茲海峽，我就炸爛你們和你們所有的能源設施。」他們則說：「好啊，沒問題，兄弟。」然後 48 小時後，他說：「你知道嗎？

We're going to give it five days." And then yesterday he was like, "You know what?

我們要再給五天。」然後昨天他說：「你知道嗎？

We're going to give it 10 days because negotiations are going so well." He's not negotiating with anybody.

我們要再給十天，因為談判進行得很順利。」他根本沒有跟任何人談判。

But you know what he should say is, "Have you heard about the Epstein files or something?

但你知道他應該說什麼嗎？「你有聽過艾普斯坦檔案嗎？

Let's get back to those." Why would that be a problem with the president posting that he's having negotiations with them?

讓我們來談談那些吧。」總統發文說他正在跟他們談判，這會有什麼問題嗎？

Iran State TV says that Trump capitulated.

伊朗國家電視臺說川普投降了。

There are no direct or indirect talks taking place with the Trump regime.

川普政權沒有進行任何直接或間接的談判。

I'm not thrilled that I trust Iranian state TV more than I trust my president.

我不高興我比信任我的總統，更信任伊朗國家電視臺。

Our president insists that this deal is very real.

我們的總統堅持說這筆交易是真的。

If it goes well, we're going to end up with settling this.

如果順利的話，我們就能解決這件事。

Otherwise, we'll just keep bombing our little hearts out.

不然，我們就只能繼續轟炸，轟到我們開心為止。

Now, to the people in the relationship up here on the panel, is that an effective negotiating strategy?

那麼，對於臺上這位談判專家，這是一種有效的談判策略嗎？

Let's work this out or I will blow up our home.

我們要不把事情談妥，不然我就炸了我們的家。

Or we take your relationship advice from Donald Trump.

不然我們就聽唐納·川普的感情建議。

Isn't being in a relationship the only thing he's worse at than being president?

難道談感情不是他比當總統更糟糕的一件事嗎？

But yes, according to the president, if you don't take the deal, we will blow up the table.

但沒錯，根據總統的說法，如果你不接受這筆交易，我們就會炸了這張桌子。

或者就像 Pete Hegseth 隔天說的。

The president has made it clear that you will not have a nuclear weapon.

總統已經說得很清楚，你們不會有核武。

And so we're keeping our hand on that throttle as long as it's hard as is necessary.

所以只要有必要，我們就會一直緊握著油門。

As long as it's hard, you keep your hand on that long and hard throttle.

只要油門緊，你就一直緊握著那又長又緊的油門。

And if that throttle's hard for more than four hours, you call a doctor.

如果油門緊超過四小時，請去看醫生。

Whenever I see Hegseth and Trump together on TV, I always think, "Yeah, this is a declining empire." And to be fair, I've come from a declining empire.

每當我在電視上看到 Hegseth 和川普在一起，我都會想：「嗯，這是一個正在衰落的帝國。」說句公道話，我來自一個衰落的帝國。

Well, to be fair, you come from a fully declined empire.

說句公道話，你來自一個已經完全衰落的帝國。

And let me tell you, lean into the decline, baby.

告訴你，就放任衰敗吧，寶貝。

Well, we don't know for sure who's negotiating on the Iranian side.

嗯，我們不確定伊朗那邊是誰在談判。

Here's who's involved in the deal on our side.

這是我們這邊參與這項協議的人。

JD is involved, and Marko's involved, and Jared Kushner's involved.

JD 參與了，Marko 也參與了，Jared Kushner 也參與了。

And Steve Witkoff, smart guy, is involved.

Steve Witkoff，一個聰明人，也參與了。

I'm going to be so big, oh, I don't want to talk about him.

我會變得非常大，喔，我不想談論他。

Did it seem like he was surprised that he was involved?

Out of that cast of characters in Trump's cabinet, who does the Iranian government want to talk with the most?

在川普內閣的那些人裡面，伊朗政權最想跟誰談？

I don't think anyone has ever wanted to talk to JD Vance.

我不認為有人想跟 JD Vance 談過。

And I would include his wife and children in that list.

我會把他的妻子和孩子也算進去。

We're hearing from sources at CNN who tell my colleague Kylie Atwood that Iran has actually expressed a preference for engaging in talks with the vice president, JD Vance.

我們從 CNN 的消息來源得知，我的同事 Kylie Atwood 告訴我們，伊朗其實表達了傾向與副總統 JD Vance 進行會談。

One of the sources told us that the perception is that Vance would be intent on wrapping up the conflict more so than the other officials.

其中一個消息來源告訴我們，大家的看法是 Vance 比其他官員更傾向於結束衝突。

Also, JD Vance is the most likely to become the new American ayatollah.

而且，JD Vance 最有可能成為新的美國阿亞圖拉。

You know for a fact that they insist on having JD Vance because they want to see if his head is really that size.

你很清楚他們堅持要見 JD Vance，因為他們想看看他的頭是不是真的那麼大。

試戴一下這頂帽子。」有點緊，對吧？

He's a one-mile argument against the concept of white supremacy.

他一個人就能證明白人至上主義這個概念是錯的。

Now, our administration is saying that the war is starting to ramp down.

現在，我們的政府說戰爭開始降溫了。

They say that the Iranian excursion is almost over.

Question, though: what signs are happening right now that might indicate that we're still at war?

不過有個問題：現在有什麼跡象可能表明我們還在戰爭中？