Name: 同時登場... 商務休閒牛排 | 追蹤牙齒 | 別讓貓咪跑出來！ (Meanwhile... Business Casual Steak | Tracking Teeth | Don't Let The Cats Out)
Uploaded: 2026-03-20T17:19:49.000Z
Duration: 4 min 48 s

Give it up for Louis Cato and the great big joy machine.

掌聲歡迎 Louis Cato 和這個超讚的快樂製造機！

Folks, if you watch this show, you know I spend most my time right over there in the news.

各位，如果你有看這個節目，就知道我大部分時間都花在新聞那邊。

Fabrica cutting and shaping the most topical Italian story.

Fabrica 裁剪並塑形最熱門的義大利故事。

Silk in vibrant two tone accenting with green piping around shawl lapels to create for you the refined Dolce and Gabbana maiolica print silk twill robe.

絲綢採用鮮豔的雙色調，搭配綠色滾邊的披肩領，為您打造精緻的 Dolce and Gabbana maiolica print silk twill 長袍。

Sometimes, folks, after getting fired from small industrial silicone for illegal butt implants, I rip the curtains out of an abandoned RV and pin it around me with a clamp from a discarded jumper cable, then beg for pennies in the sewer.

有時候，各位，在我被一家小型工業矽膠公司因為非法隆臀而解僱後，我會扯下廢棄露營車的窗簾，用廢棄跳線夾固定在身上，然後在下水道乞討零錢。

Meanwhile, scientists just discovered that a high fat diet can cause gut bacteria to enter the brain.

同時，科學家們剛發現高脂肪飲食會導致腸道細菌進入大腦。

Well, thank God this means we're one step closer to my dream of being able to eat cheese with my mind.

嗯，謝天謝地，這表示我們離我能用意念吃起司的夢想又近了一步。

Meanwhile, Ruth's Chris Steakhouse says proper attire is required in a new dress code.

同時，Ruth's Chris Steakhouse 表示新著裝要求需要適當的服裝。

Notice, pretty rich coming from a restaurant that doesn't understand proper apostrophe usage.

注意到，這話從一個不理解正確所有格用法（apostrophe usage）的餐廳說出來，還真夠諷刺的。

Does Chris belong to Ruth, or is there a thing called Cris Steakhouse that Ruth owns?

Chris 是 Ruth 的，還是有叫做 Cris Steakhouse 的東西是 Ruth 擁有的？

Meanwhile, the tooth fairy is paying out more than last year because the average value of a single lost tooth has increased by 17%, according to new findings from a poll.

同時，根據最新的民調結果，由於一顆掉牙的平均價值上漲了 17%，牙仙今年支付的金額比去年還多。

Well, they have officially found the world's creepiest pollster.

嗯，他們終於找到世界上最讓人毛骨悚然的 pollster 了。

I mostly do polling about politics, you know, election outcomes, things like that.

我主要做的民調是關於政治的，你知道的，像是選舉結果之類的。

哦，所以等一下，你說牙齒是什麼意思？

Meanwhile, 153 people on a Princess cruise ship in the Caribbean were infected with norovirus.

同時，加勒比海一艘公主遊輪上有 153 人感染了 norovirus。

But the CDC is investigating the source of the.

You know, they should ask the 8 year old at the buffet grabbing paella with his bare hands if he's seen anything suspicious.

你知道的，他們應該問那個在自助餐區，徒手拿 paella 的八歲小孩，有沒有看到什麼可疑的。

Meanwhile, Taco Bell is selling Baja Blast under eye patches.

同時，Taco Bell 在眼罩下面賣 Baja Blast。

The patches in question are infused with caffeine and a boost of citrus and energize the skin while delivering cooling hydration for the Baja Blast.

這些眼罩注入了咖啡因和柑橘精華，為 Baja Blast 帶來能量，同時提供清涼保濕。

Die Hard, though, if you're using Taco Bell skin care, I feel like you're less a Die Hard than a die soon.

Die Hard 嗎？如果你用 Taco Bell 的護膚品，我覺得你比較像是「快不行了」而不是「Die Hard」。

Researchers have identified the simplest way to help your cat live longer.

研究人員發現了讓你的貓活得更久的簡單方法。

They say that since outdoor cats face many dangers in the wild, the best way to lengthen a cat's life is keeping your cat at home at all times.

他們說，由於戶外的貓咪在野外會面臨許多危險，延長貓咪壽命的最佳方法就是讓你的貓咪一直待在家裡。

If God wanted cats to leave the house, he would never have given them the ability to lick their own buttholes.

如果上帝希望貓咪離開家，就不會給牠們舔自己屁股的能力。

There was some question whether the network would allow me to say the words lick their own buttholes.

我有點懷疑電視臺會不會讓我說出「舔自己屁股」這幾個字。

And I want to thank everyone at the CBS Corporation.

我想感謝 CBS Corporation 的所有人。

我們馬上回來，請鎖定 Elijah Wood。

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同時登場... 商務休閒牛排 | 追蹤牙齒 | 別讓貓咪跑出來！ (Meanwhile... Business Casual Steak | Tracking Teeth | Don't Let The Cats Out)

recognize

grab

identify

bacteria