Name: 川普發表2026國情諮文，美國民眾：他年紀大了，愈發脫序！ (Trump Delivers 2026 State of the Union Address, Americans Say Trump Is Growing Erratic with Age)
Uploaded: 2026-02-25T21:33:37.000Z
Duration: 6 min 20 s

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tonight Show.

歡迎、歡迎、歡迎來到今晚秀。

Well, guys, earlier tonight, President Trump delivered his State of the Union address.

好的，各位，今天稍早，川普總統發表了他的國情諮文。

And if you didn't want to watch Trump, there was an alternate State of the Union with Bad Bunny instead.

如果你不想看川普，還有另一個國情諮文，由 Bad Bunny 代替。

Tonight, Trump walked into the Capitol where he saw members of the House, Senate, and

今晚，川普走進國會，看到了眾議院、參議院和

最高法院的成員，然後說，噢，糟了。

Trump was greeted by the House, the Senate, and Supreme Court, and

川普受到眾議院、參議院和最高法院的歡迎，

he said, wow, everyone, I hate in one room.

他說，哇，大家，我恨在同一個房間裡。

But tonight, Trump's speech focused on his major accomplishments.

但今晚，川普的演講聚焦在他主要的成就上。

And when those eight seconds were up, he just ripped for an hour and a half.

那八秒鐘一結束，他就講了整整一個半小時。

It was basically two hours of Trump telling us how great he is.

基本上就是兩個小時川普在講他有多棒。

I feel like we've been getting that State of the Union address every day since he took office.

我覺得自從他上任以來，我們每天都在聽國情諮文。

But the theme of Trump's speech was America at 250 strong, prosperous, and respected.

但川普演講的主題是「美國250強，繁榮且受尊敬」。

I'm pretty sure those words were taken off the pillows off my grandma's couch.

我敢肯定這些詞是從我奶奶沙發上的枕頭上抄來的。

Tonight, President Trump delivered his State of the Union address like it always goes.

今晚，川普總統發表了他一貫風格的國情諮文。

He received many applause breaks and sending ovations by his own party.

他的政黨給了他很多掌聲和起立鼓掌的機會。

I feel like none of the applause breaks or standing ovations ever feel real.

但我覺得那些掌聲或起立鼓掌的時刻，從來都不太真實。

They're always so pre planned, you guys know what I mean?

都像是預先安排好的，你們懂我意思吧？

But you'd only do something like that if it was earned, right?

但這種事只有在贏得之後才會做，對吧？

It's not like we'd have some planned clapping choreography where one side would stand up and then the other side would stand up, and

又不是說我們會安排好鼓掌的橋段，一邊站起來，然後另一邊也站起來，

And then the last section would stand up.

That'd just be weird because at the end of the day, if we force you guys to applaud, then what is the fun in that?

那樣就很奇怪了，畢竟說到底，如果我們強迫你們鼓掌，那還有什麼樂趣可言？

I mean, like, could you all imagine if we told you all to do one single clap?

欸，你們可以想像一下，如果我們叫你們大家一起拍一下手？

A new poll found that Americans think Trump is growing more erratic with age.

一份新的民調發現，美國人認為川普隨著年齡增長，越來越古怪。

Just wait until he hits the terrible 82s.

等他到了八十二歲那個可怕的年紀，你就知道了。

Kim Jong Un was just re elected as the leader of his party in North Korea.

金正恩最近在北韓重新當選為他黨的領導人。

As a real nail biter, he couldn't decide whether to elect himself by 100% or 200%.

他真是個猶豫不決的人，不知道該以百分之百還是百分之兩百的票數來當選。

Apparently, Kim Jong Un is contemplating who he will pass the torch to.

看來金正恩正在考慮要傳承給誰。

Right now, it's between Kim Jong Vance and Kim Jong Rubia.

目前人選在金正恩凡斯和金正恩魯比亞之間。

The contestants for the new season of the Bachelorette were just announced.

《單身漢》新一季的參賽者名單剛公佈。

So far, all we know about them are their names and jobs.

到目前為止，我們只知道他們的名字和職業。

First, Casey said, I'm an entrepreneur who is ready to find the one.

首先，凱西說，我是一位準備好找到真命天子的創業家。

Then Clayton said, I'm also an entrepreneur who's ready to find the one.

接著克雷頓說，我也是一位準備好找到真命天子的創業家。

Then Conrad said, I'm ready to find the one.

然後康拉德說，我準備好找到真命天子了。

And Kevin said, I'm ready to find an entrepreneur.

凱文說，我準備好要找到一位創業家了。

Then Michael said, I'm an astrophysicist.

接著麥可說，我是一位天體物理學家。

If by astro you mean entrepreneur and by physicist you mean who's ready to find the one?

如果你說天體是指創業家，而物理學家是指準備好找到真命天子的人呢？

And finally, Josh said, I'm only here because I want to be on Dancing with the Stars one day.

最後，喬許說，我來這裡只是因為我有一天想參加《與星共舞》。

And finally, before we move on, I'd like to take a moment to thank some of our sponsors for tonight's show.

最後，在我們繼續之前，我想花點時間感謝今晚節目的幾位贊助商。

The they don't always fit in the commercial breaks and we want to make sure that we mention all of them.

他們不一定每次都能出現在廣告時段，我們想確保把他們都介紹到。

是時候介紹今晚節目的贊助商了。

Make the mailman carry a 65 pound bag of dog food.

We managed to name a candy and include both finger and butt.

我們竟然能取個糖果名字，還包含手指跟屁股。

來看看一個隨機的 Tammy 怎麼想。

讓你跑起來像個高了 2 英吋的人。

Our name sounds like we serve panda, but.

我們的名字聽起來像我們賣熊貓，但。

If you really didn't want anyone to come to your barbecue, you could have just canceled.

如果你真的不想有人來你的烤肉趴，直接取消就好了。

Spend $300 for your wrist to tell you to go for a walk.

花 300 美元讓你的手錶叫你散步。

最後，還有肉桂口味的 Altoids。

Now your breath smells a different kind of bath.

現在你的口氣聞起來像另一種浴室的味道。

That's all for tonight's show's sponsors.

這就是今晚節目贊助商的全部內容。

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川普發表2026國情諮文，美國民眾：他年紀大了，愈發脫序！ (Trump Delivers 2026 State of the Union Address, Americans Say Trump Is Growing Erratic with Age)

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