Name: 奧利安·萊文脫口秀 (Orion Levine Stand-up)
Uploaded: 2026-02-11T17:04:53.000Z
Duration: 5 min 14 s

Our next guest is a brilliant stand up comedian.

我們的下一位來賓是一位很棒的 stand up comedian。

基礎被動語態

We are honored that he's chosen the Late Late show to make his network television debut this summer.

我們很榮幸他選擇了 Late Late show 作為他今年夏天首次全國電視亮相的舞臺。

He'll be performing live at the Lincoln Lodge in Chicago, Illinois on June 30th.

他將於六月三十日在伊利諾州的芝加哥 Lincoln Lodge 現場演出。

Please welcome the outrageously talented Orion Levine.

掌聲歡迎這位才華洋溢到令人驚豔的 Orion Levine。

Just goes to show, if you focus and you work hard, you two can split a Prius with my father.

這證明瞭，只要你專注努力，你們兩個也能跟我爸一起分一臺Prius。

First thing I did, took it on a huge road trip, drove it across the country.

我做的第一件事就是開著它去了一趟長途旅行，橫跨整個國家。

And I don't know if you've ever driven a Prius across America, but

我不知道你們有沒有開著Prius橫跨美國的經驗，但是

it's a lot like wearing a face mask inside of a Bass Pro Shops.

那感覺有點像在Bass Pro Shops裡面戴著口罩。

Nothing says I'm a Democrat like, 50 miles per gallon.

沒什麼比「每加侖50英里」更能說明我是個民主黨員了。

I was driving and I saw another guy in a Prius wave to me out of solidarity.

我開車的時候，看到另一個開Prius的司機，為了表示聲援，對我揮手。

I was just like, what the hell does that loser in the Prius want?

我心想，那個開Prius的魯蛇到底想怎樣？

亞什肯納茲、塞法迪、Labradoodle。

I was in synagogue and my rabbi asked me if I ever read the Torah.

我在會堂裡，我的拉比問我，有沒有讀過妥拉。

And I was like, no, bro, I'm still working on the Prisoner of Azkaban.

我說，沒有耶，兄弟，我還在看《倫敦哈利波特：阿茲卡班的逃犯》。

And a friend of mine tried to convince me that because we were Jewish, we couldn't also be white.

我一個朋友試圖說服我，因為我們是猶太人，所以我們不能同時是白人。

Which was hard to believe because we were on a ski lift when he said it.

這很難相信，因為那時候我們正搭著滑雪纜車。

我沒有那種典型的猶太人長相。

我這髮型很像基督徒的髮型，對吧？

我是說，這髮型很適合當好鄰居。

Occupationally, sexually, it's missionary hair.

無論是職業上、性別上，這都是傳教士的髮型。

If I pulled out a guitar, you'd be like, that's gonna be about Jesus for sure.

如果我拿出吉他，你一定會想，這絕對是跟耶穌有關的。

I'm trying to learn how to stick up for myself more.

我試著學著更懂得為自己爭取權益。

有一次我看到一個人偷我的腳踏車。

我就想，那臺腳踏車搞不好是他的。

I dated a woman for six weeks and she thought my name was Logan the whole time.

我跟一個女生交往了六週，她一直以為我叫 Logan。

I was like, I'll bring her around my friends, thinking my friends would say my name in conversation.

我想說，我要帶她去見我的朋友們，想說我的朋友們會在對話中提到我的名字。

But I made the mistake of telling my friends the plan.

但我犯了一個錯，我把我的計畫告訴了我朋友們。

他們現在都叫我 Logan 了，永遠都是。

I've never been good at relationships, though.

不過我一直都不擅長處理感情。

I think it's cause my parents are divorced.

So I never had good role models for love or relationships.

所以我從來沒有好好學習過愛情或感情的榜樣。

The first time I saw my friend's parents kiss, I was like, ugh, they fight weird.

我第一次看到我朋友的爸媽接吻時，我心想，呃，他們吵架的方式好奇怪。

She won't stop DMing me motivational pictures.

She sent me an image of a bumblebee and then encouraged me over the bumblebee.

她傳了一張蜜蜂的圖片給我，然後透過蜜蜂鼓勵我。

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奧利安·萊文脫口秀 (Orion Levine Stand-up)

reveal

convince

brilliant

split