Name: 卡爾·巴倫 – 沒見過世面的傢伙！ (Carl Barron - Uncultured)
Uploaded: 2026-02-01T12:48:49.000Z
Duration: 5 min 3 s

過去簡單式

It's no big deal, but I was a roof tiler from Queensland.

這沒什麼大不了的，但我當時是個來自昆士蘭的瓦工。

那時我21歲，在倫敦認識她的。

When we come back to Australia, I was hanging around all the doctor friends and they were all posh and educated and shit.

當我們回到澳洲時，我跟一堆醫生的朋友混在一起，他們都很講究、受過教育，之類的。

And I was going to dinner parties for the first time.

Do you want to go to a dinner party, Carl?

I mean, up at that point in my life, I'd had smoke on two bricks.

我的意思是，在我人生的那個階段，我已經抽過兩塊磚頭了。

I didn't know until I was 21 that you don't shake a bottle of wine before you pour it.

我直到 21 歲才知道，倒酒前不用搖晃酒瓶。

I'll never forget the look on their face when I put my thumb over the hole.

我永遠忘不了他們看到我用拇指蓋住瓶口時的表情。

They're all looking at me going, what are you doing?

I said, there's all those chunky bits down the bottom.

I didn't know until I was 21 that some people have a problem with the word yous.

我直到 21 歲才知道，有些人對「你們」這個詞有意見。

You know that one found out the hard way.

有個聰明反被聰明誤的人說，我們不是羊。

I knew something was wrong, so I did what any self respecting bloke would do in that situation.

我知道有哪裡不對勁，所以我就做了任何自尊心強的男人在這種情況下會做的事。

Sat at the end of the table by myself and got absolutely shitfaced.

自己坐在桌子最末端，然後爛醉如泥。

Yeah, you think you're funny when you're pissed?

對啊，你以為你醉了就很好笑嗎？

The only thing that doesn't cost anything is a gluten.

You cockheads get home, she was spewing, you embarrassed me in front of all my friends.

你們這些白痴回家，她吐得亂七八糟，你在我所有朋友面前讓我丟臉。

No, the way you talk, you sound like a jobo.

不是，你說話的樣子，聽起來像個自以為是的人。

When you said, what are yous doing tomorrow?

You know, when I say, what are yous doing tomorrow?

你知道，當我說，你們明天要做什麼？

I mean, what are all of you going to do tomorrow?

我是說，你們大家明天要做什麼？

I mean, that's how words end up in the dictionary.

我是說，這就是單字會出現在字典裡的方式。

If enough people say the wrong word, they stick it in there.

如果夠多人說錯了字，他們就會把它加進去。

All of your friends, I'm still waiting for the day I open the dictionary and see the word fuck knuckle.

你們所有的朋友，我還在等那一天，我打開字典看到「fuck knuckle」這個詞。

I reckon Telstra should change the name to fucking Telstra.

我覺得 Telstra 應該把名字改成 Fucking Telstra。

Whenever you mention telstra, someone goes, oh, fucking Telstra.

每次你提到 Telstra，就會有人說，哦，Fucking Telstra。

想像一下如果那是他們的名字。

No, I mean, look, some people like it, some people don't like it, you know, I don't care.

不，我是說，你看，有些人喜歡，有些人不喜歡，你知道的，我不在乎。

I mean, dead soon, you know, life's short.

我是說，很快就死了，你知道的，人生很短。

I was surrounded by people who said, yous.

One night after the show, my mate came up.

表演結束後的一個晚上，我朋友走過來。

I said, just tell me there was a lord at your show.

我說，快告訴我，你表演時有位貴族在場。

I said, what do you mean, like a gay lord?

我說，你說的貴族，是那種同性戀貴族嗎？

He said, no, like a proper lord from England.

他說，不是，是那種來自英國的正港貴族。

I said, did he laugh at the shit I was talking about?

我說，他有笑我講的那些幹話嗎？

Heard him say to his mate he likes the word cockhead.

聽到他跟朋友說，他喜歡「cockhead」這個詞。

He'd say to his mate, he's going to go back to England and use it.

他會跟他的朋友說，他要回英國去用這個詞。

I say, jeffrey, you don't mind me saying so, a boy.

我說，傑佛瑞，不介意我這麼說，一個男孩。