Name: 你為什麼總是愛上錯誤的人？💔 (Why You Keep Falling for the WRONG PEOPLE)
Uploaded: 2025-12-14T17:52:41.000Z
Duration: 4 min 47 s

動名詞

Red flags have entered our collective consciousness quickly as more and more people have used the term to describe negative traits, particularly in dating.

紅旗這個詞在我們集體意識裡快速傳開，越來越多人用它來形容負面特質，尤其是在約會時。

形容詞比較級

Sometimes these red flags go unnoticed for a deeper reason, a reason that is very unique to you and your life experiences.

有時候，這些紅旗之所以會被忽略，是因為一個更深層的原因，這個原因對你和你的生活經歷來說非常獨特。

This happens when red flags feel like home.

這發生在你覺得紅旗就像家一樣的時候。

It's no secret that our parents have a huge effect on us even into adulthood.

大家都知道，我們的父母對我們影響很大，即使是成年之後也是如此。

The way you were raised can determine a lot about what you want in your relationship.

你被撫養長大的方式，可以決定你在關係中想要什麼。

For example, if you were raised to be neat and tidy to the point that it comes naturally, you would probably be very uncomfortable dating someone who is happily messy.

舉個例子，如果你從小被教導要整潔乾淨，而且這已經成為你的習慣，那麼你可能會非常不舒服跟一個快樂地邋遢的人約會。

The same goes for the negative parts of how we were raised.

我們被撫養長大的負面部分也是一樣的道理。

Familiar behavior, even if negative, seems normal and therefore goes unnoticed or is even expected, avoiding conflict at all costs.

熟悉的行為，即使是負面的，也會顯得正常，是以不會被注意到，甚至被預期，盡量避免衝突。

They help us understand our relationships better and smooth out out where our personalities clash.

它們能幫助我們更好地理解我們的關係，並磨合我們個性衝突的地方。

It might surprise you to learn that not every little clash has to be an argument.

你可能會驚訝地發現，不是每一次小衝突都一定要變成爭吵。

We should be able to accept responsibility and apologize if we've done something wrong.

如果我們做錯了什麼，應該要能接受責任並道歉。

If our parents are the type of people who sweep their mistakes under the rug and pretend they never happened, that could eventually seem normal to us.

如果你的父母是那種會把錯誤掃到地毯下面、假裝沒發生過的人，這對我們來說可能就會顯得很正常。

A study revealed that children understand responsibility to be defined by honesty and fairness.

一項研究顯示，孩子們理解責任的定義是誠實和公平。

If your parents struggle to apologize or to be honest with you, look out for those red flags in your relationship.

如果你的父母很難向你道歉或對你誠實，就要注意你在關係中的這些紅旗。

Number two Overly Critical when we're young, we rely on our parents, who have more life experience than us, to be our first teachers and to guide us on how to get through life.

第二點：過度批判。當我們還小的時候，我們依賴父母，他們比我們有更多生活經歷，是我們最早的老師，引導我們如何度過人生。

When you think about it, that is a huge task.

仔細想想，這真的是一件很重大的任務。

Sometimes our parents may have a harsh approach to this delicate process and feel the urge to insert their own rigid views onto everything.

有時候，父母可能會用比較嚴厲的方式來處理這個微妙的過程，並且覺得有必要將他們自己僵化的觀念強加在所有事情上。

This could mean growing up without a sense of progression, never truly knowing if you're succeeding at something because the automatic response from your parents was always critical.

這可能意味著你成長過程中缺乏進步感，從來不知道自己是否在某件事上做得成功，因為你父母的自動反應總是批評。

Chores, academics, and sports were likely always chosen for you by your parents.

家事、學業和運動，很可能都是由你的父母為你決定的。

It's even possible that your parents criticized you for the friends you chose.

甚至有可能你的父母會批評你選擇的朋友。

This can manifest as a red flag in your dating life.

這可能會在你約會時顯現為一個紅旗。

If your partner is also very controlling and critical, they could try to disguise it as helping you.

如果你的伴侶也同樣非常控制和批判，他們可能會試圖偽裝成是在幫助你。

But know the person you're with should usually be encouraging.

但要知道，你身邊的人通常應該是鼓勵你的。

If they do have concerns, they should have a clear line of reasoning.

如果他們真的有顧慮，應該有清晰的理由。

If you face criticism no matter what, in most facets inside and outside of the relationship, that is a red flag that probably feels very familiar.

如果無論你怎麼做，在關係內外的大多數方面都會面臨批評，這是一個你可能覺得很熟悉的紅旗。

On the other hand, your partner might seem too dependent on you.

另一方面，你的伴侶可能看起來對你太過依賴。

Perhaps you subconsciously attract people who are going through a rough patch or have an existing mental illness, but

也許你潛意識會被那些正經歷困難時期或有現有精神疾病的人吸引，但是

Perhaps you feel like your partner asks the world of you.

也許你覺得你的伴侶對你要求很多。

This can come across as needy or possessive.

這可能會讓人覺得他們很需要你，或是很黏人。

For example, they may guilt you into canceling plans at the last minute because they don't want you to go.

例如，他們可能會讓你感到內疚，而臨時取消計畫，因為他們不想讓你出去。

They might also refuse to learn from their mistakes and do things you don't like.

他們也可能不願意從錯誤中學習，然後繼續做你討厭的事情。

Even after you've set that boundary, you might not notice this red flag if your parents were overly dependent on you or simply lack boundaries.

即使你已經設定了界線，如果你的父母對你過度依賴，或是根本沒有界線觀念，你可能還是沒注意到這個紅旗。

You might have had very little time growing up because your parents constantly needed you for something or didn't care if you wanted to see a friend or two.

你可能在成長過程中很少有自己的時間，因為你的父母總是需要你幫忙做東做西，或者他們根本不在乎你想不想跟朋友出去玩。

When parents rely on you too much, it can cause parentification, which is the term for growing up too fast.

當父母過度依賴你時，可能會造成「兒女成人化」，也就是過早長大的情況。

It can happen when you're required to do the majority of the physical work or if you have to look after your parents mentally or emotionally.

當你必須做大部分的家務，或是需要心理和情感上照顧父母時，就可能發生這種情況。

This could have prevented you from truly acknowledging your own needs and that you were allowed to prioritize yourself.

這可能會讓你無法真正承認自己的需求，也讓你覺得自己可以優先考慮自己。

4 Never good enough do you dread talking to your parents because you know they're going to tell you that you aren't doing enough?

你是不是很害怕跟父母講話，因為你知道他們總會說你做得不夠多？

Your job isn't good enough, you aren't achieving enough, you aren't the absolute best player on your team or the smartest in your class?

你的工作不夠好，你沒達成足夠的成就，你不是隊上的最佳球員或班上最聰明的人？

Common lines you might have heard are I just want what's best for you or you're so talented you could go so far.

你可能聽過這些常見的話：「我只是希望你一切都好」或是「你很有天賦，可以走得很遠」。

It sounds nice when they put it like that, but

if these are your parents, you know that they're really saying I'm disappointed you're not good enough.

如果是你的父母，你其實知道他們真正想說的是：「我很失望你做得不夠好。」

Growing up, it seems like they had very little interest in what was making you happier when achievements made you proud, and

長大過程中，他們似乎對讓你開心的事沒什麼興趣，反而對讓你感到驕傲的成就很有興趣，而且

yet they were overly involved now in your romantic relationships.

現在卻過度干涉你的感情關係。

If your partner is constantly hinting that they are disappointed in you or comparing you to others, you might not realize that this is a huge red flag.

如果你的伴侶老是暗示對你失望，或把你跟別人比較，你可能沒意識到這是一個很大的紅旗。

Don't let others make you think that you are pursuing the wrong kind of success, because everyone defines it differently.

別讓別人覺得你在追求錯誤的成功，因為每個人對成功的定義都不同。

When we love someone, there is a lot that we can forgive.

當我們愛一個人時，有很多事情我們可以原諒。

If we are used to bad behavior, we can forgive a whole lot more.

如果我們習慣了不好的行為，我們可以原諒更多。

But is it worth it, even at the expense of your mental health?

但這樣值得嗎？即使會犧牲你的心理健康？

We hope this video has made you a little more aware of the red flags out there.

希望這個影片讓你對外在的紅旗多了一點警覺。

Don't let bad behavior slide just because you're used to it.

別因為習慣了就不去理會不好的行為。

If you found this video helpful or informative, please leave a Like and subscribe to Psych2go for more videos like this.

如果你覺得這個影片有幫助或資訊豐富，請按讚並訂閱 Psych2go 以獲得更多類似的影片。

We hope you find the person who treats you right, you've got this.

希望你會找到那個好好對待你的人，你做得到！