Name: 當你感到嫉妒時，其實是在發現真正的自己！(JEALOUSY: How Competition Teaches Us About Ourselves)
Uploaded: 2025-10-27T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 7 min 42 s

基礎被動語態

This video was made possible by Brilliant, a math and science problem solving website that makes learning fun and rewarding.

這支影片由 Brilliant 提供，這是一個讓數學和科學解題變得有趣又有收穫的學習網站。

Grace walks out of the bathroom bar and sees her husband Eric laughing with Mary, one of his female co workers.

Grace 從浴室走出來，看到她的老公 Eric 正和一位女同事 Mary 說笑。

He smiles from ear to ear and his cheeks look a little flushed.

他笑得合不攏嘴，臉頰看起來有點紅潤。

Grace remembers Eric telling her that Mary had graduated from Harvard too, and

Grace 回想起 Eric 曾跟她說過，Mary 也畢業於 Harvard，而且

As she walks closer towards them, Mary sees her and smiles.

當 Grace 走近時，Mary 看見了她並笑了。

You look like you should be on the COVID of a magazine.

妳看起來就像雜誌封面人物一樣。

That's what I told her too, said Eric, chuckling.

Eric 笑著說，我跟她說的也是一樣。

Mary waved goodbye and went off to find her friend.

Mary 揮手道別，然後去找她的朋友了。

Grace waved goodbye, but inside she burned with jealousy.

Grace 也揮手道別，但心裡卻燃起了嫉妒的火焰。

Jealousy is the feeling you get when your relationship to something is threatened by a rival.

嫉妒是一種當你與某樣事物之間的關係受到競爭者威脅時產生的感覺。

In my example, Grace feels that her relationship with Eric is threatened by Mary.

在我的例子裡，Grace 覺得她和 Eric 的關係受到了 Mary 的威脅。

But jealousy doesn't just apply to romantic relationships.

When we see someone get a promotion that we think we deserve or achieve the spot at a university that we've been working hard towards, we can feel jealous in those situations too.

當我們看到別人獲得我們認為自己應得的晉升，或是進入我們努力爭取的的大學時，我們也會有那樣的嫉妒感。

And jealousy is similar to, but separate from envy.

嫉妒和羨慕很相似，但又不一樣。

Envy is the feeling that arises from someone else having what you want.

羨慕是一種因為別人擁有你想要的東西而產生的感覺。

For example, Grace might notice that Mary gets the most attention.

舉例來說，Grace 可能會注意到 Mary 總是受到最多的關注。

Anytime she walks into a room and feel envious, Mary has something that Grace wants.

她走進房間時，Grace 會感到羨慕，因為 Mary 擁有 Grace 想要的東西。

But when Mary talks to Eric, her husband, and

但當 Mary 和她的丈夫 Eric 說話，

gets his attention, she feels jealous because now Mary threatens to take Eric away from her.

並獲得他的注意時，她會感到嫉妒，因為 Mary 現在威脅要從她身邊搶走 Eric。

And in every instance of jealousy, there are at least three the prize, the rival, and the jealous.

在每一次嫉妒的情況下，至少有三者：獎品、對手，以及嫉妒者。

In my example, the jealous person is clearly Grace.

在我的例子裡，嫉妒的人很明顯是 Grace。

The prize is the thing the jealous person wants.

And the rival is the thing that threatens the jealous person's relationship with the prize.

而對手則是威脅到嫉妒者與獎品關係的事物。

Jealousy is when your relationship to a prize is threatened by a rival for good reasons.

嫉妒是指你與獎品的關係因為對手出現而受到威脅，而且是出於正當理由。

Jealousy is often viewed as a destructive emotion.

嫉妒常被視為一種破壞性的情緒。

Jealousy causes us to suffer from constant fear and worry that we'll lose our prize, and

嫉妒讓我們因為害怕失去獎品而持續恐懼和擔憂，

so we waste a lot of energy defending and controlling the prize, energy that could be used in more productive ways.

所以我們浪費很多精力去防禦和控制獎品，這些精力本可以用在更有生產力的事情上。

It can also make us feel angry and vengeful either towards our prize or our rival.

它也會讓我們對獎品或對手感到憤怒和報復。

For example, Grace might spill some wine on Mary's dress and claim it was an accident.

例如，Grace 可能會把酒灑在 Mary 的洋裝上，並聲稱是意外。

Or she might start to withdraw and give Eric the cold shoulder as punishment for talking to Mary.

或者她可能會開始疏遠 Eric，懲罰他跟 Mary 說話。

By taking either of these actions, she makes her relationships with Eric and Mary a little worse.

採取這兩種行動中的任何一種，她都會讓她與 Eric 和 Mary 的關係變得更糟。

But on the other hand, if honored and understood, jealousy can give us insight into our lives.

但另一方面，如果受到重視和理解，嫉妒可以讓我們洞察自己的生活。

Maybe Grace's jealousy is accurately signaling that her relationship is threatened.

也許 Grace 的嫉妒準確地發出了關係受到威脅的信號。

Maybe she accurately picked up on the fact that Eric actually is attracted to Mary.

也許她準確地察覺到 Eric 其實被 Mary 吸引了。

And maybe they do have something going on behind the scenes.

也許他們之間真的有什麼事情在暗中進行。

Or maybe the jealousy is a signal of Grace's own insecurities.

或者，也許嫉妒是 Grace 自己不安全感的信號。

Maybe she feels threatened anytime someone pretty talks to Eric, even if nothing more is going on.

也許只要任何漂亮的女生跟 Eric 說話，她就感到威脅，即使什麼都沒發生。

Or maybe the jealousy is a signal that Grace and Eric need to establish better boundaries within their relationship.

或者，也許嫉妒是 Grace 和 Eric 需要在他們的關係中建立更好界線的信號。

Maybe some of the things that Grace sees as inappropriate, Eric sees as harmless.

也許 Grace 認為不恰當的事情，Eric 卻覺得沒什麼。

Or maybe it's some combination of all three scenarios.

或者，也許這三種情況的組合。

But at the end of the day, if it's respected and mined for insight, there's a lot Grace can learn from her feelings of jealousy.

但歸根究底，如果我們尊重並從中挖掘洞見，Grace 可以從她的嫉妒感中學到很多。

If we return to the idea of jealousy as a triangle, we can start to map out the potential insights we can learn from it.

如果我們回到嫉妒是個三角形的概念，我們就可以開始描繪出我們可以從中學到的潛在洞見。

At the bottom left corner, we write the jealous.

在左下角，我們寫上「嫉妒者」。

At the topmost point, we write the prize.

在最頂端，我們寫上「獎品」。

And at the bottom right corner, we write the rival.

而在右下角，我們寫上「競爭者」。

This shows the relationship between all three parties.

Now, on the line connecting the jealous to the prize, we write trust.

接著，在連接嫉妒者和獎品的線上，我們寫上「信任」。

This is the first insight jealousy gives us that we might need to work on the trust and boundaries between ourselves and our partner.

這是嫉妒給我們的第一個啟示，我們可能需要處理自己和伴侶之間的信任和界線。

We need a clear understanding of what is and isn't acceptable within our relationship.

我們需要清楚瞭解在我們的關係中，什麼是可以接受的，什麼是不可以的。

Now on the line connecting the prize to the rival, we write value.

現在，在連接獎品和競爭者的線上，我們寫上「價值」。

This is the second insight that jealousy gives us that we might need to realize that our partner doesn't value us or as much as we value them.

這是嫉妒給我們的第二個啟示，我們可能需要意識到伴侶可能不像我們重視他們那樣重視我們。

If we feel they're disrespecting us or making themselves open to other people, then that's something that needs to be discussed.

如果我們覺得他們不尊重我們，或者對其他人敞開心扉，那就需要討論。

Or maybe we need to cut our losses and move on.

或者，我們可能需要及時止損，向前看。

And lastly, on the line connecting the jealous to the rival, we can write security.

最後，在連接嫉妒者和競爭者的線上，我們可以寫上「安全感」。

This is the third insight that jealousy gives us, that we might need to work on how secure we feel within ourselves.

這是嫉妒給我們的第三個啟示，我們可能需要處理自己內心的安全感。

If anybody and everybody presents a threat to our relationship, we might need to realize why we feel that way and work on it.

如果任何人或所有人對我們的關係都構成威脅，我們可能需要意識到為什麼會有這種感覺，並加以改善。

If our minds are always racing with and consumed by jealous thoughts, we'll likely destroy any relationships we have unless we learn to overcome that jealousy.

如果我們腦子裡總是充滿嫉妒的想法，除非我們學會克服嫉妒，否則可能會毀掉我們擁有的任何關係。

And if I were trying to apply these insights to my life, I'd probably do it by asking myself a series of questions.

如果我要把這些體悟應用到生活中，我可能會問自己一系列問題。

The first question would be, how secure do I feel within myself?

第一個問題是，我對自己有多大的安全感？

Do I feel inferior to others based on their qualities.

我會不會因為別人的特質而覺得自己不如人？

Second, do I feel my relationship is truly threatened?

第二，我覺得我們的關係真的受到威脅嗎？

Is my partner disrespecting the relationship or making themselves open to other people?

我的伴侶是不是不尊重這段關係，或者對別人敞開心扉？

And lastly, do me and my partner need to establish better boundaries and rebuild our trust?

最後，我們需要建立更好的界線，重建彼此的信任嗎？

In the end, there's no one size fits all solution.

最後，沒有一種萬能的解決方案。

And in fact, I hope I made it clear that jealousy is less of a problem to be overcome and more of a signal to be understood.

事實上，我希望我已經說清楚了，嫉妒與其說是需要克服的問題，不如說是需要理解的訊號。

And if you're looking for a practical way to improve your logical thinking skills, I recommend checking out this week's sponsor, Brilliant, through their Logic course.

如果你正在尋找一個實用的方法來提升你的邏輯思考能力，我推薦你看看這週的贊助商 Brilliant，他們有專門的邏輯課程。

Brilliant actually helped me become a better thinker, and

Brilliant 實際上幫助我成為一個更好的思考者，而且

by becoming a better thinker, they helped me become a better writer.

透過成為一個更好的思考者，他們幫助我成為一個更好的寫作者。

Truth telling is the basis of good writing, and

to be able to distinguish true statements from false ones, you have to be good at logic.

要能夠分辨真假陳述，你必須擅長邏輯。

In their logic course, you'll learn to solve problems by taking factual statements and using logic to make them coherent.

在他們的邏輯課程中，你會學到如何透過事實陳述並運用邏輯來解決問題，讓它們變得連貫。

And you'll get to do it through Brilliant's signature fun and interactive style.

而且你會透過 Brilliant 獨特的有趣互動方式來學習。

I can't really stress how important it is to be a great logical thinker in these uncertain times.

在這些不確定的時代，我真的無法強調成為一個優秀的邏輯思考者有多重要。

By learning how to separate fact from fiction, you'll instantly become more competent at anything you do.

透過學習如何分辨事實與虛構，你會立刻在任何事上都變得更厲害。

But if logic isn't your thing, Brilliant has thousands of lessons, over 70 courses, with new, exclusive content added each month for different areas of study such as math, science or computer science.

但如果邏輯不是你的強項，Brilliant 有數千堂課、超過 70 種課程，每個月還會新增數學、科學或電腦科學等不同領域的獨家內容。

To get started for free, visit brilliant.org freedomandthought or click on the link in the description below.

想免費開始，請到 brilliant.org freedomandthought 或點擊下方說明欄中的連結。

The first 200 of you will get 20% off Brilliant's annual premium subscription.

你們前 200 名將可享有 Brilliant 年度高級訂閱 8 折優惠。

As always, thanks for watching and I'll see you next time.

一如往常，感謝收看，下次見！