Name: 特朗普促成中東和平並在波特蘭向反法組織宣戰？| 每日秀 (Trump Brokers Peace in the Middle East & Declares War Against Antifa in Portland? | The Daily Show)
Uploaded: 2025-10-13T05:51:53.000Z
Duration: 11 min 9 s

Let's get right into the biggest story in the world.

讓我們直接進入全球最重大的一則新聞。

程度副詞

This is one of those sentences that you almost never hear.

But there's good news coming out of the Middle East.

不過，中東地區傳來了好消息。

President Trump was the first to announce that Israel and Hamas have agreed to the first phase of a deal that could lead to the end of the war in Gaza.

川普總統率先宣佈，以色列和哈瑪斯已經同意了可能結束加薩戰爭的第一階段協議。

This is peace in the Middle east, and it's an incredible thing.

這是中東的和平，這真是太不可思議了。

Over in Gaza, Palestinian men and boys ran into the streets, clapping and cheering.

在加薩，巴勒斯坦的男人和男孩們跑到街上，拍手歡呼。

在以色列，也出現了類似的喜悅景象。

That's right, a peace deal has been reached between Israel and Hamas, and

沒錯，以色列和哈瑪斯之間已經達成了一項和平協議，而

it's based on the framework Donald Trump proposed, which means another thing you almost never hear.

這是基於唐納·川普提出的框架，這代表著另一件你幾乎聽不到的事。

而且我真不敢相信我會說出這句話。

I gotta give Donald Trump some props here.

你知道，這種事真的不常發生。

In fact, I can only think of this, the COVID vaccine and Home Alone 2.

事實上，我只能想到這件事，COVID疫苗，還有小鬼當家2。

Don't get me wrong, this is astonishing, because if this peace holds, it means the guy who couldn't stop a fight between Gary Busey and Meatloaf brokered peace in the Middle East.

別誤會我的意思，這真的很令人驚訝，因為如果這和平能持續下去，這代表著那個連蓋瑞·布西和邁特·洛夫之間的爭吵都無法阻止的人，卻在中東促成了和平。

So, Trump, when it comes to peace, you did it.

所以，川普，說到和平，你做到了。

You know, I mean, you also did a big portion of the war, but

你知道，我的意思是，你也在戰爭中扮演了很大的角色，但是

It's like how white people did slavery in America, but.

就像美國白人曾經奴役人一樣，但是。

但他們也在美國廢除了奴隸制。

Either way, this is a reason to celebrate.

無論如何，這都是值得慶祝的事。

And look, if this deal holds, maybe we should give Trump the Nobel Peace Prize, or, or, Or.

聽著，如果這協議能維持，也許我們應該頒給川普諾貝爾和平獎，或是，或是，或是。

And you won't like this, either we let him burn the Epstein files.

而且你不會喜歡這個，我們要嘛讓他燒毀艾普斯坦檔案。

他只有一個機會，但他可以自己選。

All right, now, maybe you're wondering how the world found out about this peace deal.

好了，現在，你可能在想，全世界是怎麼知道這個和平協議的。

Was it a grand announcement like the Tree of Versailles, or like the end of World War II where nurses and soldiers met up in Times Square just to make out?

是像凡爾賽條約那樣盛大的宣佈，還是像第二次世界大戰結束時，護士和阿兵哥在時代廣場相遇接吻一樣？

不是，不是，這是川普的美國。

The President interrupted by Secretary of State Marco Rubio, seen handing him a note and then whispering in Trump's ear.

總統被國務卿馬可·魯比歐打斷，他遞給川普一張紙條，然後在他耳邊低語。

Photographers catching the handwritten message.

We need you to approve a truth social post soon so you can announce deal first.

我們需要你盡快準許一個 Truth Social 的貼文，這樣你就可以先宣佈協議。

等等，他們有計畫他的 Truth Social 貼文？

So when I see one all misspelled and half in caps at three in the morning, that was the plan.

所以當我凌晨三點看到一個拼錯字又大寫一半的貼文時，那就是計畫好的。

It's like scheduling that you're gonna shit your pants.

這就像安排你等下會拉褲子一樣。

If he can resolve the conflict in the Middle east, maybe he truly is the president of peace.

如果他能解決中東的衝突，也許他真的是和平總統。

Maybe some of that peace and tranquility is gonna come back to us.

也許一些和平與寧靜會回到我們身邊。

President Trump sending National Guard troops into American cities.

川普總統派遣國民警衛隊進駐美國城市。

Trump is insisting that troops are needed in cities like Chicago, Memphis and Portland.

川普堅持像芝加哥、曼菲斯和波特蘭這樣的城市需要部隊。

We have an insurrection act for a reason.

Damn, this feels like he made peace abroad just so he could bring everybody back to whoop ass here.

該死，這感覺就像他為了把所有人都帶回來在這裡痛打一頓，而讓國外和平了一樣。

I mean, a president hasn't invoked the insurrect since the LA riots, which for Trump is actually a surprisingly recent precedent.

我的意思是，總統自從洛杉磯暴動以來就沒有動用過叛亂法案，對川普來說，這其實是一個令人驚訝的近期先例。

Usually he's invoking something that hasn't been used in 300 years, like the anti witch.

通常他會動用一些已經 300 年沒用過的法案，像是反女巫法。

You can toss a bitch off a cliff at of 1692, but

你可以在 1692 年把一個賤女人推下懸崖，但是

what's happening in Portland that requires Trump to send troops in?

波特蘭發生了什麼事需要川普派兵進駐？

Well, Trump held a big meeting yesterday to explain why it should be clear to all Americans that we have a very serious left wing terror threat in our country.

嗯，川普昨天開了個大會，解釋為什麼所有美國人都應該清楚，我們國家有非常嚴重的左翼恐怖威脅。

Radicals associated with the domestic terror group Antifa.

跟國內恐怖組織 Antifa 有關的激進份子。

That's who you're declaring a domestic terrorist organization?

你要把這個宣佈為國內恐怖組織？

That's tricky because while there are people who identify as Antifa, it isn't really an official group.

這有點棘手，因為雖然有些人認同自己是 Antifa，但它其實不是一個正式的組織。

Like my cousin's baby has its own website.

就像我表弟的嬰兒都有自己的網站一樣。

You put your ear to his mom's stomach and you just heard, I'm coming.

你把耳朵貼在他媽媽肚子上，就聽到說：我來了。

So no website, no brick and mortar store.

所以沒有網站，也沒有實體店面。

So if you're sending troops to Portland, how sophisticated could Antifa be?

所以如果你派兵去波特蘭，安提法能有多厲害？

This network of Antifa is just as sophisticated as Ms. 13, as TDA, as ISIS, as Hezbollah, as Hamas, as all of them.

這個安提法的網絡，就跟 MS-13、TDA、ISIS、真主黨、哈瑪斯，還有他們所有的一樣複雜。

She made Antifa feel like the power rangers of terror.

她讓安提法感覺像是恐怖份子的電力戰士。

They got some, Everybody, they got Ms. 13, ISIS, they got letters, numbers, Hezbollah, Hamas.

他們有 MS-13、ISIS，他們有字母、數字，真主黨、哈瑪斯。

I don't know what TDA is, but they got some of that too.

我不知道 TDA 是什麼，但他們也有一些。

Okay, Kristi Noem, your Homeland Security, you gotta get out there to Portland and take care of business.

好的，克莉絲蒂·諾姆，你的國土安全部，你得去波特蘭處理事情。

Kristi Noem went on the roof of the ICE building to survey the scene.

克莉絲蒂·諾姆爬上 ICE 大樓的屋頂勘查現場。

Okay, okay, that doesn't look that scary.

好的，好的，看起來沒那麼可怕。

But you have to remember how scary it is for her to encounter a farm animal when she's unarmed.

但你得記得，她赤手空拳遇到農場動物時有多可怕。

But you know these cities, they look innocent during the day.

但你知道這些城市，白天看起來很無害。

I bet you that was just the Antifa that doesn't have jobs.

我敢打賭那只是那些沒工作的安提法份子。

That must be when Antifa comes out to do all the nasty terrorism.

那時候安提法一定會出來搞所有那些噁心的恐怖活動。

Let's look at Portland at night this week.

我們來看看這週晚上的波特蘭。

恐懼是很強的藥物，但 MDMA 也是。

Listen, Trump, I'M trying to be an ally, but right now, I don't really see dangerous criminals.

聽著，川普，我試著當盟友，但現在我沒看到什麼危險的罪犯。

And I'm not sure we need the military for that because everything that they claim is happening in Portland, it's all happening on one city block in front of one ICE building.

而且我不確定我們需要軍隊來處理這件事，因為他們聲稱在波特蘭發生的一切，都只發生在一個街區，就在一個 ICE 大樓前面。

The rest of the city is completely normal.

So it's normal, but it's like Portland normal.

所以是正常的，但就像是波特蘭式的正常。

Like there will be a naked guy with a handlebar mustache riding a unicycle down the street.

就像是會有一個留著八字鬍的裸男騎著獨輪車在大街上。

So far all I've seen is a guy in a chicken suit and an episode of Barney.

到目前為止，我只看到一個穿著雞裝的人和一集《巴尼》。

The amazing thing is you look at Portland and you see fires all over the place.

令人驚訝的是，你看波特蘭，到處都是火災。

It's like the movies where you have these bombed out cities.

就像電影裡那些被炸毀的城市。

I don't know what could be worse than Portland.

我不知道還有什麼會比波特蘭更糟了。

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特朗普促成中東和平並在波特蘭向反法組織宣戰？| 每日秀 (Trump Brokers Peace in the Middle East & Declares War Against Antifa in Portland? | The Daily Show)

incredible

phenomenon

sophisticated

nasty