Name: 為什麼我的職業讓我成為更好的媽媽（以及作為高成就者的其他教訓） (Why My Career Makes Me a Better Mom (and Other Lessons as a High Achiever))
Uploaded: 2025-10-08T18:12:07.000Z
Duration: 13 min 53 s

to 不定詞

I've known all my life that one day I wanted to become a mom.

我從小就知道有一天我想成為一位母親。

過去簡單式

I knew that I wanted to have a family and have children, and luckily that came true.

我知道我想擁有一個家庭、生兒育女，幸運的是這都實現了。

頻率副詞

But what I never imagined as a Quiet Achiever whose sole focus growing up was just to get straight A's in school, and

但我從沒想過，一個成長過程中只專注於在學校拿全A的靜默的成就者，

then once I got working to become a top performer in my career, was how challenging it would be to maintain that high achiever mentality as a parent.

接著在工作上成為頂尖表現者，竟然在成為父母後，要維持這種高成就者心態會這麼有挑戰。

Only until I had kids did I realize that my expectations and identity had to shift significantly because I was no longer the same person that I was before having kids.

直到我有了孩子，我才領悟到我的期望和身份必須大幅轉變，因為我不再是生孩子前的那個我了。

I had changed and I needed to make a change within myself if I wanted to move forward in a more fulfilled, calm and confident way in my life, in my career.

我改變了，如果我想要以更充實、平靜、自信的方式在生活和事業上往前走，我就必須在自己內在做出改變。

So what I want to share with you today is the four realizations that I've had because being a quiet achiever and now being a parent that I've had to learn in order to have more balance and calm and ease within my career and in my life that hopefully will help you if you are a parent.

所以今天我想跟大家分享的是，身為一個靜默的成就者，現在又成為父母，我學到的四個領悟，這些領悟能幫助我在事業和生活中獲得更多平衡、平靜與自在，希望能幫助到各位父母。

If you've recently become a parent, you will understand hopefully what I'm talking about today.

如果你最近剛成為父母，你應該會懂我今天在說什麼。

you know that one day you do want to be, and

你知道有一天你想要成為父母，

you are extremely career driven, you identify as being a quiet Achiever, then hopefully these realizations will help you as you navigate that that journey.

如果你事業心強，認同自己是個靜默的成就者，希望這些領悟能幫助你走過這段旅程。

So in terms of this aspect of becoming a parent, I actually talk about this along with other six triggers in my book the Quiet Achiever.

關於成為父母這部分，我其實在我的書《靜默的成就者》中，和另外六個觸發點一起探討過。

And what I mean by this is being a parent became a trigger for me that resulted in a stagnation period in my life.

我的意思是，成為父母對我來說是一個觸發點，導致我的人生進入了停滯期。

And I talk about what a stagnation period is.

我會在書裡說明什麼是停滯期。

Also in the book, stagnation periods is where you go through a period of time in your life where you feel stuck, you feel confused, you feel lost, you start questioning where you're at in your life, where you're going, where you've been.

書裡也有提到，停滯期就是你人生中一段感到卡住、感到困惑、感到迷失的時期，你會開始質疑自己現在在哪裡、要去哪裡、過去經歷了什麼。

And what I've discovered is that it generally is sparked by a significant life event.

我發現這通常是由一個重大的生活事件所引發的。

So there are many different events that happen.

所以會有很多不同的事件發生。

It could be through a loss or a health challenge, or it could be through becoming a parent or through a certain realization that you feel as though you're falling behind in life.

可能是因為失去、健康挑戰，也可能是因為成為父母，或是因為某個領悟，讓你覺得自己在人生中落後了。

So in this case, we're talking about the trigger of being a parent, becoming a parent, and

所以在這裡，我們談論的是成為父母這個觸發點，

how that can result in a stagnation period.

So specifically, what I say is on page 40, I wrote before having kids I was a typical quiet achiever who channeled all my energy, inner drive and ambition into my career.

所以具體來說，我在第 40 頁寫到，在有了孩子之前，我是一個典型的靜默的成就者，將我所有的精力、內在的動力和野心都投入到我的事業中。

After having kids, I applied those same traits to my role as a stay at home parent.

在有了孩子之後，我將這些特質應用到我在家育兒的父母的角色上。

As the months went on, I found myself distancing and disconnecting further away from who I thought I was.

隨著時間一天天過去，我發現自己離我以為的自己越來越疏離、越來越遠。

I didn't fully see myself as solely a mom, but

我沒有完全將自己視為一個媽媽，

I also didn't identify as the former career driven business person I once thought I was.

但我也不認同自己是過去那個事業心強的商界人士。

It led me into one of the longest periods of stagnation I've ever experienced, a phase that lasted several years.

這讓我進入了我經歷過的最長的停滯期之一，這個階段持續了好幾年。

There have been many tears shed, deep questions asked, heavy emotions and deep seated fear based beliefs brought to the surface that I had to address head on.

流了很多眼淚，問了很多深刻的問題，許多沉重的情緒和根深蒂固的恐懼信念浮現出來，我必須正面去面對。

And if I'm being honest, I'm still on this journey and that's okay.

說實話，我還在這條路上，這樣也沒關係。

What I can say is that over the past few years I've gained a deeper understanding of myself and a clearer sense of who I am and insights that I've helped shaped this book and that I'm now able to share with you.

我能說的是，在過去幾年裡，我對自己有了更深的瞭解，對自己是誰有了更清晰的認識，並獲得了塑造這本書的見解，而這些見解現在我能與你分享。

That is an excerpt from my book the Quiet Achiever which is coming out in October 2025.

這是我的書《靜默的成就者》的節錄，這本書將於 2025 年 10 月出版。

This is the manuscript, but the hardcover version is coming out.

這是手稿，但精裝版即將上市。

So I encourage you if this resonates with you and if the realizations that I'm going to talk about in just a minute resonate with you.

所以，如果你覺得這很有共鳴，而且我接下來幾分鐘要講的領悟也讓你產生共鳴。

For you to pre order my book, just put in the words Quiet Achiever down in the comments below.

我鼓勵你預購我的書，只要在下方的留言區輸入「靜默的成就者」這幾個字。

I'll send you the link where you can pre order and you'll get access a thousand dollars worth of bonuses and gifts that I'm giving away, including my top notch interview bestselling course which has helped thousands of professionals to land job offers.

我會把預購連結傳給你，你還可以獲得價值一千美元的贈品和禮物，包括我頂尖的暢銷訪談課程，這個課程已經幫助了數千位專業人士獲得工作機會。

So just put in the words Quiet Achiever down below if you want to get the link to pre order the book.

所以，如果你想拿到預購書的連結，請在下方輸入「靜默的成就者」。

So here are four realizations that I had and lessons that I'm learning about being a career driven quiet Achiever who also happens to be a parent that hopefully will help you.

所以，這裡有四個我對事業心強的靜默的成就者同時也是父母的領悟和學習到的功課，希望能幫助到你。

The first realization is I am not the same person I was before kids.

第一個領悟是，我已經不是生小孩前的我了。

I believed after having my two sons that I should be able to go back to the same person I was once before.

我曾以為，生了兩個兒子之後，我應該能回到以前的自己。

I had my kids and it's taken me a few years but I've realized that I cannot go back to that old version of me that is Linda Raynor back then.

生了小孩後，我花了幾年時間才領悟到，我再也回不去以前那個 Linda Raynor 了。

I am a new version and I had to accept that.

我是一個新的版本，我必須接受這點。

And so that means that when we are dealing with new obligations we have New responsibilities beyond our career.

所以，這意味著當我們面對新的義務時，除了事業之外，我們還有新的責任。

It means that our priorities have to change, our values shift.

這意味著我們的優先順序必須改變，我們的價值觀必須轉變。

And for me, it's not just about career and work success.

對我來說，這不只是關於事業和工作的成功。

It's also about the success and well being and mental and emotional well being of my children, of my family as a whole, and

這也關乎我的孩子們、我的整個家庭的成功、幸福，以及他們的身心靈健康，

I need to play a role in that, in acknowledging myself.

我需要扮演一個角色，去承認我自己。

But of I am not the same person I was before.

但我已經不是過去的那個我了。

And I think this will be relevant for you if you also have kids and you're still thinking that you should be able to perform or do the exact same things that you did before you had kids.

我想，如果你也有孩子，而且你還覺得自己應該要表現得跟生孩子之前一樣，或者做跟生孩子之前一樣的事情，這點對你來說會很有共鳴。

I'm not saying that it's not possible, but you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself.

我不是說這不可能，而是你給自己的壓力太大了。

If you feel that you're feeling overwhelmed and you're feeling anxious and you're just in a season in your life where that's just not physically possible, then give yourself a little bit of grace and know that you can only do the best that you can do in this moment in time.

如果你覺得自己快要崩潰、感到焦慮，而且你正處於人生的一個階段，就是身體上真的做不到，那就給自己一點空間，要知道在這個時刻，你只能盡力而為。

你已經進化了，而且還在持續進化中。

So don't put so much pressure on yourself that you're feeling anxious and weighed down every single day.

所以，別給自己那麼大的壓力，讓自己每天都感到焦慮、壓力沉重。

Allow yourself to be a little bit more at ease in the time and season that you're in in your life.

讓自己在這個人生階段、這個時節裡，稍微放鬆一點。

The second realization that I've had says the quality of my life and my family's life revolves around my state of being.

我第二個領悟是，我跟我家人的生活品質，完全取決於我當下的狀態。

This is something that I did not realize was so important until very recently.

這件事我最近才意識到有多重要。

Because when you become a parent, especially a mom, your whole life revolves around your newborn.

因為當你成為父母，特別是媽媽，你整個人生都會圍繞著新生兒打轉。

Everything at that point is about the newborn's needs, their emotions, what they need, what they require.

那時候所有事都跟新生兒的需求有關，他們的感受、他們需要什麼、他們要求什麼。

And your emotions are way in the back burner.

而你的感受就整個被擺到後面去了。

What your needs are, are way in the back burner.

你的需求，也整個被擺到後面去了。

Everything is about the newborn, the child in front of you.

所有事都跟新生兒有關，跟在你眼前的小孩有關。

And so as my children have gotten a little bit older, they're still very young, but

所以，隨著我的孩子們長大一點，他們還很小，但是

as they've gotten older, I realize, okay, now I'm in a place where I can go back to thinking about myself and focusing on my needs as well as their needs.

隨著他們長大，我領悟到，好，現在我到了一個可以開始重新思考自己、關注自己需求，同時也關注他們需求的地方了。

And what that means is if you focus on your state of being and you look at your energy state every single day and you acknowledge how you're feeling on a moment by moment basis, then you're doing the work that's necessary to be able to bring in the most positive version of yourself into the world and for your children and for your family.

這意味著，如果你專注於你當下的狀態，每天觀察你的能量狀態，並且隨時覺察自己的感受，那麼你就是在做必要的功課，以便能將最正面的自己帶到這個世界，為你的孩子和家人付出。

But if you're not paying attention to yourself and you're allowing yourself to get overwhelmed and drained and exhausted by the responsibilities that you have, the work that you have to do, and

但如果你不關注自己，讓自己被你肩上的責任、你必須做的工作壓垮、耗盡、精疲力盡，

you're getting yourself wrapped up in this hamster wheel of just working, working, working, what can happen is that you lead yourself down the lane to burnout and then you show up as that version for your family and for your kids.

然後你陷入了不斷工作、工作、工作的輪迴，結果就是你可能走向職業倦怠，然後你就會以那樣的狀態面對你的家人和孩子。

And you are showing up as someone who's frustrated, who's on edge, who's anxious, and

你會表現得像個充滿挫折、焦躁不安、擔憂的人，

who is essentially not a great person to be around.

So I've had to learn that for myself, that my state of being matters.

所以，我學到了，我自己的狀態也很重要。

If I'm feeling exhausted, if I'm feeling tired, if I'm feeling anxious, then I need to take a step back.

如果我感到筋疲力盡、疲憊、焦慮，我就需要退一步。

And as an example for me, I go down to my sauna and I make sure I have a sauna session.

對我來說，我會去我的三溫暖，確保我做個三溫暖療程。

Because just the sweating and the work that the sauna does, whatever magic it does, it actually helps me to feel renewed when I step out of it and I'm able to refresh myself and I feel more calm and present for my family and for those around me and for my work.

因為流汗和三溫暖的作用，不管它有什麼神奇效果，它能讓我出來時感覺煥然一新，我能讓自己恢復活力，感覺更平靜、更專注於家人、身邊的人和我的工作。

So your state of being is the most important thing because that will then determine the well being of those around you in your family.

所以，你的狀態是最重要的，因為這將決定你身邊家人的福祉。

The third realization I've had since becoming a parent as a quiet achiever is protecting your energy is more important.

自從成為一位靜默的成就者父母後，我第三個領悟到的是，保護你的能量更重要。

When I was younger in my career, hustling was something that I had no issue doing.

在我職涯早期，我毫不猶豫地拼命工作。

I was able to work non stop day after day from early warning all the way till late at night.

我可以從清晨一直工作到深夜，日復一日地不停歇。

And eventually I would have to recover from that.

But because I didn't have any other responsibilities or obligations and I was just all about my career, that I was able to do that, and

因為我沒有其他責任或義務，我只專注於我的事業，所以我才能這麼做，而且

especially when I started my business, that was how I was operating round the clock.

特別是當我創辦自己的事業時，我就是這樣日夜不停地運作。

But after having children and having a family, I realize I can't put all of my energy into one thing.

但在有了孩子和家庭之後，我意識到我不能把所有精力都投入到一件事上。

I have to be able to divide it up and siphon it towards my family, towards myself, and

我必須能夠分配它，並將其導向我的家人、我自己，以及

But there needs to be a balance between how I distribute my energy.

但我分配精力的方式需要取得平衡。

There are more obligations that I have than I used to have.

So what I've realized is protecting my energy and is the most important priority for me.

所以我領悟到，保護我的精力是我最重要的優先事項。

Because as quiet achievers, we are naturally more introverted.

因為身為靜默的成就者，我們天生就比較內向。

And what that means is we only have a finite amount of energy in any given day.

這表示我們每天的精力是有限的。

And that energy depletes slowly as we have interactions as we do certain activities as we go about our day.

隨著我們與人互動、從事某些活動、以及日常的進行，精力會慢慢消耗。

Whereas for extroverts, they start off their day with zero energy and they gain energy by having interactions, by meeting with people, by doing certain activities.

相較之下，外向者一天開始時精力是零，他們透過互動、與人見面、從事某些活動來獲得精力。

So if you are like me, who's more introverted, then you are going to recognize and see that when you become a parent, your energy is the most important thing that you need to protect, because you only have a certain amount of it and you need to be able to distribute it across the specific areas of your life that matter.

所以如果你跟我一樣比較內向，你會發現當你成為父母時，保護精力是你最需要做的事，因為你的精力有限，而且你需要能夠將它分配到你生活中重要的特定領域。

And for me, it happens to be myself, my health, my family and my work.

對我來說，這些領域包括我自己、我的健康、我的家人和我的工作。

And so when you can do that and you know how to navigate your energy and work with your energy, then you're able to feel more at ease and calm in any given day with what you need to do, you have more clarity, you have more sense of direction, rather than feeling as though you're putting yourself in all places at once and you are feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling overly anxious.

所以當你能做到這一點，並且知道如何管理你的精力並與你的精力共處時，你就能在一天中更自在、更平靜地完成你該做的事，你會更有條理、更有方向感，而不是覺得自己分身乏術、感到不知所措、過度焦慮。