Name: 愚蠢的美國人》 | 《喬治-卡林》 | 《生命值得失去》（2005年） (Dumb Americans | George Carlin | Life Is Worth Losing (2005))
Uploaded: 2025-08-25T11:06:58.000Z
Duration: 10 min 58 s

情態副詞

But say what you want about America land of the free home the brave we got some dumb-ass motherfuckers floating around this country dumb-ass motherfuckers Now obviously that doesn't include this audience I understand that You seem intelligent and perceptive, but the rest of them.

我知道你看起來很聰明，也很有洞察力，但其他人就不一樣了。

Holy jump and fucking shit balls Dumber than a second coat of paint And this ain't just ranting and raving this ain't just blowing off steam I got a little evidence to support my claim.

我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊，我的老天爺啊。

程度副詞

It just seems to me seems to me That only a really low IQ population could have taken this beautiful continent this Magnificent American landscape that we inherited well, actually we stole it from the Mexicans and Indians, but Hey, it was nice when we stole it It looked pretty good.

在我看來，只有智商極低的人才能奪走這塊美麗的大陸，這幅壯麗的美國風景畫是我們繼承來的，實際上是我們從墨西哥人和印第安人那裡偷來的，但我們偷來的時候還不錯，看起來很美。

It was pristine paradise Have you seen it lately?

這是一個純淨的天堂，你最近看到過嗎？

It's fucking embarrassing only a nation of unenlightened half-wits Could have taken this beautiful place and turned it into what it is today a shopping mall a big fucking shopping mall You know that That's all you got that's all you've got here folks mile after mile of mall after mall many many malls Major malls and many malls they put the many malls in between the major malls and in between the many malls They put the mini-marts and in between the mini-marts You got the car lots gas stations muffler shops laundromats cheap hotels fast-food joints strip clubs and dirty bookstores America the beautiful one big transcontinental commercial cesspool and how do the people feel about all this?

真他媽丟人，只有那些不開化的半吊子國家 才會把這個美麗的地方變成今天這個樣子 一個購物中心，一個該死的大購物中心 你知道，這就是你的一切，這就是你的一切，夥計們 一英里又一英里的購物中心，一英里又一英里的購物中心 許多許多的購物中心，主要的購物中心和許多許多的購物中心 他們把許多許多的購物中心放在主要的購物中心和許多許多的購物中心 之間，把小型購物中心放在小型購物中心之間你有停車場 加油站 消聲器商店 自助洗衣店 廉價旅館 快餐店 脫衣舞俱樂部 和骯髒的書店 美國美麗的一個橫貫大陸的大商業汙水坑 人們對這

How do the people feel about living in a coast-to-coast shopping mall?

人們對生活在一個從海岸到海岸的購物中心有何感想？

Well, they think it's just fucking dandy They think it is cool as can be because Americans love the mall they love the mall That's where they get to satisfy their two most prominent addictions at the same time shopping and eating Millions of semi-conscious Americans day after day shuffling through the malls Shopping and eating especially eating Americans love to eat They are they are fatally attracted to the slow death of fast food Hot dogs corn dogs triple bacon cheeseburgers deep-fried butter dip in pork fat and cheese whiz mayonnaise soaked barbecue mozzarella patty melts Americans will eat anything anything anything if you were selling sauteed raccoons assholes on a stick Americans would buy them and eat them especially if you dipped them in butter and put a little salsa on them This country is big time pig time forget the bald eagle you know what the national emblem of this country ought to be a big bowl of macaroni and cheese a Big bowl because everything in this country is king-size king-size extra-large and super jumbo especially the fucking people Have you seen some of the people in this country?

好吧因為美國人喜歡逛商場 他們喜歡逛商場 在那裡他們可以同時滿足購物和飲食這兩個最重要的嗜好 數百萬半清醒的美國人日復一日地在商場裡逛來逛去 購物和飲食 尤其是飲食 美國人喜歡吃 他們對快餐的緩慢死亡有致命的吸引力美國人什麼都吃，什麼都吃，如果你賣的是香煎浣熊屁股，美國人會買來吃，尤其是如果你蘸上黃油，再放上一點辣醬，這個國家就是豬的大時代，忘了禿鷹吧，你知道這個國家的國徽應該是什麼嗎？因為這個國家的所有東西都是特大號的 特大號的超大號的 尤其是那些該死的人 你見過這個國家的一些人嗎？

Have you taken a good look at some of these big fat motherfuckers walking around big fat motherfuckers.

你有沒有好好看看這些走來走去的大胖子？

Oh My god huge piles of redundant protoplasm Lumbering through the malls like a fleet of interstate buses the people in this country are immense massive bellies monstrous thighs and big fat fucking asses And if you stand there for a minute you look at one of them you look at one of them you begin to wonder How does this woman take a shit How does she shit and even more frightening how does she wipe her ass And she even locate her asshole She must require assistance our paramedics trained in this field And standing right next to her of course With a plate full of nachos and a mouthful of pie as her clueless fucking husband Joe six-pack With his monstrous swollen beer belly hanging dangerously out over his belt beer belt buckle this guy ain't seen his dick since the Nixon administration And If you stand there, and you look at the two of them you begin to wonder to yourself Do these people fuck?

哦，我的天啊，一大堆多餘的原生質 像一隊州際公車一樣在商場裡蹣跚而行 這個國家的人都是大腹便便，大腿粗壯，屁股肥碩這個女人是怎麼拉屎的 更可怕的是她是怎麼擦屁股的 她甚至連屁眼的位置都不知道 她一定需要我們受過專業訓練的醫護人員的幫助 而站在她旁邊的 當然是滿滿一盤玉米片和滿嘴餡餅的他那臃腫的啤酒肚危險地掛在腰帶上 啤酒皮帶扣上 這傢伙從尼克松執政以來就沒見過自己的老二 如果你站在那裡如果你站在那裡，看著他們兩個 你會開始懷疑自己 這些人做愛了嗎？

Is this man actually capable of fucking this woman it doesn't seem structurally possible That these two people could achieve penetration Maybe they're in that Cirque du Soleil or something I'm telling you the people in this country Every half of every one of them is 50 pounds overweight.

這個男人真的有能力上這個女人嗎？ 從結構上看，這兩個人不可能達到插入的效果 也許他們是在太陽馬戲團之類的地方 我告訴你，這個國家的人 每半個人都超重50磅

They are gargantuan and in the summertime God help us In the summertime they all want to wear short pants Jesus Lord protector of all that is good and holy deliver me from fat people in short pants They all got short pants big bellies fat thighs and dumb kids short pants big bellies fat thighs and dumb kids Everyone's got two dumb-ass kids with them and the whole family is wearing t-shirts and everyone's got the same t-shirt.

他們都是大塊頭，在夏天，上帝保佑我們 在夏天，他們都想穿短褲 上帝啊，一切美好神聖事物的保護神，請保佑我遠離穿短褲的胖子 他們都穿短褲 大肚腩 胖大腿和笨小孩 短褲 大肚腩 胖大腿和笨小孩 每個人都帶著兩個笨小孩，全家人都穿著 T 恤衫，每個人的 T 恤衫都一樣。

I'm with stupid Apparently in this country the stupids are an extended family And besides wearing them t-shirts everyone in the family's got on a backpack They got a backpack strapped to their back so they can carry around lots of stupid shit And the reason they got to carry their stupid shit strapped to their backs is because their hands must remain free at all times to hold food And to get that food up to the mouth where it gets shoveled in with all the rest of the disgusting shit they ate that day and Another reason for the backpacks is these people are gonna buy even more stupid shit.

我和蠢貨在一起 顯然，在這個國家，蠢貨們是一個大家庭，除了穿著T-他們的背上綁著揹包 這樣他們就能隨身攜帶很多蠢東西 他們之所以要把蠢東西綁在背上 是因為他們的手必須一直空著 才能拿著食物 把食物送到嘴邊 然後和當天吃的其他噁心東西一起塞進嘴裡

They ain't got enough stupid shit at home They just had a stupid shit sale.

他們家裡的蠢貨還不夠多，他們剛搞了個蠢貨大拋售。

They gotta buy more They're gonna go out in the parking lot and stuff this stuff into the big fat ugly oversized SUV That's got plenty of room in it plenty of room in it for stupid shit and lots of room left over for these big fat ugly motherfuckers to get them home Stopping of course for jelly roll and fried dough These people these people are efficient professional compulsive consumers.

他們要買更多的東西 他們要去停車場 把這些東西塞進肥胖醜陋的超大型SUV裡 那裡面有足夠的空間 足夠的空間裝蠢貨 還有足夠的空間讓這些肥胖醜陋的混蛋把他們送回家

It's their civic duty Consumption, it's the new national pastime fuck baseball.

這是他們的公民義務 消費，這是新的國家消遣，去他媽的棒球。

It's consumption the only true lasting American value That's left buying things Buying things people spending money.

消費是美國人唯一真正持久的價值觀，也是美國人唯一真正持久的價值觀，也是美國人唯一真正持久的價值觀。

They don't need money They don't have on things They don't need so they can max out their credit cards and spend the rest of their lives paying 18% interest on something that cost 1250 and they didn't like it when they got at home anyway, not too bright folks not too fucking bright But if you talk to one of them about this if you isolate one of them you sit him down Rationally you talk to him about the low IQs and the dumb behavior and the bad decisions right away They start talking about education.

他們不需要錢，也不需要買東西，這樣他們就可以刷爆信用卡，用餘生來支付18%的利息，買1250美元的東西，反正他們回家後也不喜歡，他們不是太聰明，也不是太他媽的聰明，但如果你和他們中的一個人談談這個問題，如果你孤立他們中的一個人，你讓他坐下來，理智地和他談談低智商、愚蠢的行為和錯誤的決定，他們馬上就會開始談論教育。

That's the big answer to everything education They said we need more money for education.

他們說，我們需要更多的教育經費。

We need more more books more teachers more classrooms more schools We need more testing for the kids.

我們需要更多的書籍、更多的教師、更多的教室、更多的學校，我們需要對孩子們進行更多的測試。

You say to him Well, you know, we've tried all of that and the kids still can't pass the test.

你對他說 好吧，你知道，我們已經試過所有這些辦法了，但孩子們還是不能通過考試。

We're gonna lower the passing grades And that's what they do in a lot of these schools now They lower the passing grades so more kids can pass more kids pass the school looks good Everybody's happy the IQ of the country slips another two or three points and pretty soon All you'll need to get into college is a fucking pencil Got a pencil get the fuck in there.

我們要降低及格分數 現在很多學校都這麼做 他們降低及格分數 好讓更多的孩子及格 讓更多的孩子及格 學校看起來很好 大家都很高興

It's physics Then everyone wonders why 17 other countries graduate more scientists than we do Education politicians know that word they use it on you Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things the flag the Bible and children.

這是物理學 然後，每個人都想知道為什麼其他 17 個國家的科學家畢業人數比我們多 教育 政客們知道這個詞，他們會用它來對付你 政客們歷來躲在三樣東西的背後：國旗、《聖經》和孩子。

No child left behind No child left behind.

不讓一個孩子掉隊 不讓一個孩子掉隊

Well, it wasn't long ago You were talking about giving kids a head start head start left behind.

不久前，你還在說要給孩子們一個良好的開端。

Someone's losing fucking ground here But there's a reason there's a reason there's a reason for this there's a reason education sucks It's the same reason that it will never ever ever be fixed.

但這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的 這是有原因的

It's never gonna get any better Don't look for it.

Be happy with what you got because the owners of this country don't want that I'm talking about the real owners now The real owners the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions Forget the politicians the politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice You don't you have no choice.

我現在說的是真正的主人 真正的主人是那些控制著一切並做出所有重要決定的大富商利益集團 忘掉那些政客吧，政客們的存在是為了讓你們覺得你們有選擇的自由，但你們沒有，你們沒有選擇。

They own you they own everything They own all the important land.

他們擁有你，他們擁有一切，他們擁有所有重要的土地。

They own and control the corporations They've long since bought and paid for the Senate the Congress the state houses and city halls They got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies So they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear they got you by the balls They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying lobbying To get what they want Well, we know what they want.

他們擁有並控制著公司，早就買通了參議院、國會、州議會和市政廳，法官在他們的腰包裡，他們擁有所有的大型媒體公司，是以他們控制著你能聽到的幾乎所有新聞和資訊，他們控制著你的蛋蛋，他們每年花費數十億美元進行遊說，以獲得他們想要的東西，我們知道他們想要什麼。

They want more for themselves and less for everybody else But I'll tell you what they don't want.

他們希望自己得到更多，其他人得到更少，但我要告訴你他們不想要什麼。

They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking They don't want well-informed Well-educated people capable of critical thinking they're not interested in that that doesn't help them that's against their interest.

他們不想要有批判性思維能力的公民，他們不想要有批判性思維能力的受過良好教育的人，他們對這一點不感興趣，這對他們沒有幫助，這違背了他們的利益。

That's right They don't want people who are smart enough to sit around the kitchen table to figure out how badly they're getting fucked by a system That threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago.

沒錯，他們不想讓那些足夠聰明的人圍坐在廚房的桌邊，去弄清楚他們被這個該死的 30 年前就把他們扔下船的系統搞得有多慘。

They want obedient workers obedient Workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork and just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay the longer hours to reduce benefits the end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears the minute You go to collect it and now they're coming for your Social Security money.

他們要的是聽話的工人，聽話的工人只需要聰明到會操作機器和做文書工作，愚蠢到會被動地接受這些越來越糟糕的工作，工資越來越低，工作時間越來越長，福利越來越少，加班費越來越少，養老金越來越少，你一去領養老金就會消失，現在他們又來要你的社保金了。

They want it back So they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something they'll get it They'll get it all from you sooner or later because they own this fucking place.

他們想把錢要回來 好給他們在華爾街的犯罪朋友 你知道的 他們會得到的 他們遲早會從你這裡得到一切 因為他們擁有這個該死的地方

It's a big club and you ain't in it You and I are not in the big club.

這是個大俱樂部，而你不在裡面 你和我都不在這個大俱樂部裡。

By the way, it's the same big club They used to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe what to think and what to buy The table is tilted folks.

順便說一句，這就是他們過去整天打你腦袋的那根大棍子，他們整天在媒體上告訴你該相信什麼，該想什麼，該買什麼。

The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice Nobody seems to care Good honest hard-working people white collar blue collar doesn't matter what color shirt you have on good honest hard-working people Continue these are people of modest means Continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don't give a fuck about them.

遊戲被操縱了，似乎沒有人注意到，似乎沒有人關心 誠實勤勞的白領藍領，不管你穿什麼顏色的襯衣 誠實勤勞的人們，繼續他們的工作 繼續選舉這些有錢的混蛋，他們才不管他們的死活。

They don't give a fuck about you They don't give a fuck about you.

他們根本不在乎你 他們根本不在乎你

They don't care about you at all at all You know And nobody seems to notice nobody seems to care That's what the owners count on the fact that Americans will probably remain Willfully ignorant of the big red white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes every day Because the owners of this country know the truth.

他們根本不關心你，你知道，似乎沒有人注意到，似乎也沒有人關心 這就是業主們所指望的，美國人可能會對每天塞進他們屁眼的紅白藍大雞巴 故意保持無知，因為這個國家的業主們知道真相。

It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it

之所以稱之為 "美國夢"，是因為你必須睡著了才能相信它