Name: 別說我沒警告你！吵架時千萬不要說「這兩個字」！ (Never Say These 2 Words in a Conflict—Here’s Why)
Uploaded: 2025-07-27T21:02:00.000Z
Duration: 1 min 25 s

過去簡單式

[Have] you ever heard somebody say that before during a heated conversation?

你聽過有人在激烈的談話中這樣說嗎？

You know, one of the most challenging dynamics and any heated conversation is understanding that context shapes everything.

你知道，任何激烈的對話中最具挑戰性的動態之一，就是理解語境決定一切。

你把這句話理解為「冷靜下來」。

Depending on which side of a conversation you're on, it can either feel like an attack or a lifeline.

根據你處於對話的哪一方，它可能感覺像是攻擊，也可能感覺像是一條生命線。

Like when someone tells you to calm down, it's tempting to push back.

就像當有人告訴你要冷靜下來時，你很容易就會反抗。

We're actually empowered to do it No, I won't calm down.

My feelings are valid and it is not my responsibility to make you feel comfortable That's fair But what happens when the roles are reversed?

我的感受是合理的，我沒有責任讓你感到舒服 這很公平，但如果角色顛倒過來，會發生什麼呢？

What happens when you're on the receiving end of someone else's heightened emotions and for your own safety, you ask them, "Hey, can you please bring it down a notch?"

當你承受著別人激動的情緒時，為了你自己的安全，你會問他們：「嘿，你能冷靜一點嗎？」

Well, what if they respond the same way and say, "No, my feelings are valid. I won't calm down."

那麼，如果他們也這樣回答說：「不，我的感受是有道理的。我不要冷靜。」

Well, now it suddenly feels less empowering and more threatening.

好吧，現在突然覺得它不再那麼有力量，反而更有威脅性。

This is the dichotomy. The same advice that works for self-advocacy can be weaponized in situations where it creates a risk for others.

這就是矛盾之處。同樣適用於自我辯護的建議，在給他人帶來風險的情況下，也可能被當作武器。

And this is why context matters when we deploy communication strategies It's not enough to validate your own feelings.

這就是為什麼當我們部署溝通策略時背景很重要，光是驗證自己的感受是不夠的。

You also have to evaluate whether your behavior invalidates someone else's.

你還必須評估你的行為是否會影響其他人的行為。

Feelings are valid, but behaviors aren't always justified in moments of conflict.

感覺是真實的，但在衝突時刻行為並不總是合理的。

One, your emotions deserve space, and two, so do the people around you.

一是你的情緒應該有自己的空間，二是你周圍的人也應該有自己的空間。

If the tool you're using to solve a problem only works when it's in your hands, it's gonna look like a weapon in someone else's.

如果你用來解決問題的工具只有在你手中才有效，那麼它在別人手中就會看起來像是武器。

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別說我沒警告你！吵架時千萬不要說「這兩個字」！ (Never Say These 2 Words in a Conflict—Here’s Why)

phrase

context

deserve

conflict