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  • We can't pull out all of your trophies.

    我們不能把你所有的獎盃都拿出來。

  • - Oh, whoa! I had that. - Is that you?

    - 哦,哇,我也有那張照片。 - 那是你嗎?

  • Yes. That's me.

    是的,那是我。

  • That's just, it was a very different time.

    只是那是非常不同的年代了。

  • Wow. That's the coolest picture anybody in our family's ever taken.

    哇,那是我們家庭成員拍過最酷的照片。

  • Yeah. Aunt Julia, you look so hot, and I love that outfit.

    沒錯,Julia 阿姨妳看起來好性感,而且我很喜歡那套衣服。

  • She broke all my friends' hearts.

    她傷了我所有朋友的心。

  • Mine too.

    我的也是。

  • I used to steal all of her clothes.

    我曾經偷過她所有的衣服。

  • I mean, how were you always so on-trend?

    我的意思是,你怎麼總是這麼潮?

  • She insisted.

    因為她堅持。

  • You got your perfect skin from grandma, too.

    妳完美無暇的皮膚也是奶奶遺傳自奶奶的。

  • Yes. Well, good genes.

    沒錯,基因好。

  • So what the hell happened to me then, huh?

    那我到底發生了什麼事?

  • We'd all like to know that one.

    我們也都想知道為什麼。

  • No, but it's like I always say, eat well, sleep well, take care of your skin.

    但就像我常說的,吃得好、睡得好、照顧好你的肌膚。

  • What?

    什麼?

  • Oh, sorry. I'm reading an article about how to ask out your Subway sandwich artist.

    哦,對不起,我正在看一篇有關如何約 Subway 員工出去的文章。

  • Oh, I like that for you.

    哦,我覺得那個很適合妳。

  • What's the story with this one?

    那這張有什麼故事?

  • Yeah. Wait, where is that from?

    對啊,等等,那是哪來的?

  • Oh, oh, oh. Okay.

    哦,哦,哦,好吧。

  • I was in London.

    我當時在倫敦。

  • - I had just graduated college. - Yes.

    - 我剛剛大學畢業。- 嗯哼。

  • And I was just wandering around.

    而我只是在附近閒逛。

  • I found myself in the Chelsea flower market.

    我發現自己在 Chelsea 花市。

  • Come on!

    拜託!

  • It says you're not supposed to order chips.

    它說你不應該點洋芋片。

  • Jesus.

    我的天啊。

  • Esther, you always get chips.

    Esther,你總是點洋芋片。

  • Yeah.

    是沒錯。

  • That's my daughter, so back to the photo.

    那就是我女兒,所以回到照片上。

  • - Mm-hmm. - I was in the flower market.

    - 嗯哼。- 我在花市。

  • - Uh-huh. - Minding my own business, looking at these beautiful flowers, and I get a tap on my shoulder.

    - 嗯哼。- 專注在做自己的事,看看美麗的花朵,然後有人點了點我的肩膀。

  • Gentleman says, "May I take your picture?"

    一位紳士說:「我可以幫你拍照嗎?」

  • It turns out he is the famous photographer Richard Avedon.

    原來他就是著名的攝影師 Richard Avedon。

  • - Ahh! - Richard Avedon!

    - 啊!- Richard Avedon!

  • My mom is so pretty

    ♪ 我的媽媽是如此漂亮 ♪

  • Elegant and fine

    ♪ 優雅和美好 ♪

  • Her hair looks perfect

    ♪ 她的頭髮看起來很完美 ♪

  • Like, 100% of the time

    ♪ 就像,無時無刻都是 ♪

  • Her features are small and delicate

    ♪ 她的容貌小巧而精緻 ♪

  • She's hotter than your mom, I bet

    ♪ 我賭她比你的媽媽還要辣 ♪

  • But it only makes me sad

    ♪ 但這只會讓我傷心 ♪

  • ♪ 'Cause I look more like my dad

    ♪ 因為我看起來更像我爸 ♪

  • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

    ♪ 哦,哦,哦,哦,哦 ♪

  • Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

    ♪ 哦,哦,哦,哦,哦 ♪

  • ♪ I've got my dad's eyebrows

    ♪ 我遺傳了我爸爸的眉毛 ♪

  • ♪ I've got my dad's nose

    ♪ 我遺傳了我爸爸的鼻子 ♪

  • ♪ I've got my dad's shoulders

    ♪ 我遺傳了我爸爸的肩膀 ♪

  • ♪ I've got hair on my toes

    ♪ 我的腳指頭有腳毛 ♪

  • - Gross. - Just the big ones.

    - 好噁。- 只有大拇指。

  • My mom's graceful as a swan

    ♪ 我的媽媽優雅的像隻天鵝 ♪

  • ♪ I look like a hobbit with overalls on

    ♪ 我看起來像一隻穿工作服的哈比人 ♪

  • It's bad

    ♪ 這很糟糕 ♪

  • ♪ I take after my dad

    ♪ 因為我長得像我爸 ♪

  • She's her father's daughter, daughter

    ♪ 她是她爸爸的女兒,女兒 ♪

  • She's her father's daughter, daughter

    ♪ 她是她爸爸的女兒,女兒 ♪

  • She's her father's daughter, daughter

    ♪ 她是她爸爸的女兒,女兒 ♪

  • She's her father's girl

    ♪ 她是她爸爸的女孩 ♪

  • ♪ I chew with my mouth open

    ♪ 我咀嚼的時候嘴巴會打開 ♪

  • Whenever I'm eating

    ♪ 每當我在吃東西的時候 ♪

  • My sideburns are out of control

    ♪ 我的鬢角很失控 ♪

  • And your hairline's receding

    ♪ 而且你的髮際線也在往後退 ♪

  • Yeah, I know.

    是,我知道。

  • Her mom's skin is smooth as glass

    ♪ 她媽媽的皮膚像玻璃一樣光滑 ♪

  • But I've got my dad's pores and his weird, flat ass

    ♪ 但我遺傳我爸的毛孔和他怪異的扁屁股 ♪

  • It's grim

    ♪ 那很醜 ♪

  • ♪ I look more like him

    ♪ 我看起來更像他 ♪

  • She's her father's daughter, daughter

    ♪ 她是她爸爸的女兒,女兒 ♪

  • She's her father's daughter, daughter

    ♪ 她是她爸爸的女兒,女兒 ♪

  • She's her father's daughter, daughter

    ♪ 她是她爸爸的女兒,女兒 ♪

  • She's her father's girl

    ♪ 她是她爸爸的女孩 ♪

  • Big forehead.

    大額頭。

  • Fat calves.

    粗小腿。

  • Bad posture.

    不好的姿勢。

  • Athlete's foot.

    香港腳。

  • It's not as if you're unattractive to men.

    對男人來說,妳並不是沒有吸引力。

  • You're just a little bit uglier than you should have been.

    妳只是長得比預期的要醜了一點。

  • - ♪ Ooh ♪ - Thanks, Grandma.

    - ♪ Ooh ♪ - 謝謝,奶奶。

  • That helps. It does.

    那很有幫助,真的。

  • Should have been a ten

    ♪ 她應該要十分滿分的 ♪

  • But she's a seven

    ♪ 但她只有七分 ♪

  • ♪ I go out in pajamas

    ♪ 我穿睡衣出門 ♪

  • My mom irons her clothes

    ♪ 我媽媽會燙她的衣服 ♪

  • Your dad's got beautiful legs

    ♪ 你爸爸的腿很漂亮 ♪

  • But I didn't get those

    ♪ 但我沒有遺傳到那些 ♪

  • What the f***?

    搞什麼?

  • It's sad, but it's the truth

    ♪ 這很悲傷,但它是事實 ♪

  • ♪ I look like the daughter with no lines

    ♪ 我就像在「屋頂上的提琴手」♪

  • From "Fiddler on the Roof" ♪

    ♪ 中飾演沒有台詞的女兒 ♪

  • And my dad's to blame

    ♪ 而且要怪我爸 ♪

  • ♪ 'Cause we look the same

    ♪ 因為我們長得一樣 ♪

  • We're exactly like one another

    ♪ 我們跟對方長得一模一樣 ♪

  • ♪ I look like my dad's little brother

    ♪ 我看起來像我爸的弟弟 ♪

  • But I'm bad at math and have mood swings

    ♪ 但我數學不好,而且有情緒波動 ♪

  • Like my mom

    ♪ 像我的媽媽 ♪

  • Did you like my song?

    妳喜歡我的歌嗎?

  • God. You need a lot of attention, don't you?

    天啊,你需要很多關注是不是?

We can't pull out all of your trophies.

我們不能把你所有的獎盃都拿出來。

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