Today, I want to reveal to you the secret to getting better at talking to people.

我今天要向你們揭開更流利與人交談的秘密。

So, let's dive right into it.

我們直接開始。

So, the first thing you have to understand is that you were not born socially handicapped.

你必須了解的第一件事是，你並非生來就有社交障礙。

We humans are a very social species, so much, in fact, that you can take a baby and put him or her in a room full of people, and over time, he or she will learn to speak purely through observation.

人類是非常社會化的物種，事實上，那個程度高到你可以把一個嬰兒放在充滿人類的房間裡，他或她光透過觀察一段時間就會學會說話。

No one needs to go up to the baby and say, "Hey! That's a cat. Yes, cat, C-A-T. Meow, meow. Say it with me."

不需要任何人走向那個嬰兒跟他說：「嘿！那是一隻貓。沒錯，貓咪，C-A-T。喵喵。跟我一起說。」

You don't have to do any of that.

你完全不必這麼做。

If you just talk and go about your daily activities, the baby is capable of learning your language by pure observation.

你只要說話並從事你的日常活動，嬰兒自己就能夠藉由單純的觀察學習你的語言。

And this is because the human brain is actually extremely good at identifying patterns and rules when it comes to social interactions, which is basically what language is if you think about it.

而這是因為人腦事實上對於辨認社交互動的模式和規則極好， 想想看，那基本上就是語言。

Patterns and rules.

模式和規則。

So, it's not that you were born socially handicapped.

所以並不是你生來就有社交障礙。

The reason your social skills aren't that great is simply because you haven't given your brain enough time to observe interactions and become fluent in all of the patterns and rules.

你的社交技能不太好的原因就只是因為你並沒有給你的腦袋足夠的時間去觀察互動並變得流利於所有的模式和規則。

In short, you lack practice.

簡而言之，你缺乏練習。

And, for the most part, it's not really your fault.

而這主要並不是你的錯。

Because, if you think about it, in modern times, we spend the large majority of our time behind screens interacting with each other, and it's only been getting worse and worse every generation.

因為在現今社會，我們把大多數時間花在螢幕後頭與人互動， 而每一代只會越來越糟。

I didn't get a smartphone until I was almost, like, 20 years old, but nowadays, most kids get their first smartphone before they're even 10.

我直到幾乎 20 歲才得到一支智慧型手機，但現在大部分小孩甚至在 10 歲以前就得到了第一支智慧型手機。

And we all know that it doesn't take much skill or practice to accept a friend request and shoot someone a message.

而我們都知道接受交友邀請、傳訊息給某人並不需要太多技巧或練習。

We can type and use emojis to communicate with each other, but it's really, really different from actually talking to someone in real life.

我們可以打字以及使用表情符號來溝通，但那和真實世界中實際跟人交談是很不一樣的。

When you're texting, there are hundreds of little components that are not there, hundreds of little patterns and rules that your brain isn't able to observe about the other person.

打字時有許多小細節是不存在的，數百個小模式和規則都是缺乏的，讓你無法觀察對方。

For example, things like their body language, facial expressions, tonality, speed of talking, proximity, eye contact, etc.

像是肢體語言、表情、音調、語速、 靠近、眼神接觸等元素。

These are all components that you have to pay attention to when talking to someone else in real life if you want to make friends.

如果你想交朋友，這些都是你在真實生活中與別人交談時必須仔細觀察的細節。

But all of these factors are completely missing when you text or message someone using your magic little rectangle.

但當你用你那台神奇小方塊打字或傳訊息給別人時，所有這些因子都會完全遺漏。

In a way, talking to people in real life is like a completely different language.

在某種程度上，在真實世界中與人對談就像是一種截然不同的語言。

The reason why your social skills aren't that great and why you feel nervous about meeting new people is simply because you haven't been giving your brain enough time to properly learn this language.

你的社交能力沒有那麼好以及認識新的人時感到緊張的原因，就只是因為你沒有給你的大腦足夠的時間去好好學習這個語言。

You're fluent in texting, but you're barely passing real-life talking.

你打字很流利，但你幾乎沒有在現實生活中說話。

Sort of like how I barely passed Chinese in high school.

有點類似我高中時，中文差點被當。

The secret to getting better at talking to people or learning any language is to simply get more practice, to interact with more people,

與人交談或是學習任何語言進步的秘訣就是多加練習、和更多人互動，

to give your brain more opportunities to observe and learn the unique patterns and rules of this language.

給你的大腦更多機會去觀察並學習這個語言獨特的模式和規則。

Now you might be wondering, "Improvement pill, okay, that makes sense and all, but how do I get more practice?"

現在你可能會好奇：「好，那很合理，但我要怎麼多加練習？」

Well, when I was about 18 years old, I decided to take on what's called the "hundred interaction challenge" to improve my social skills.

在我大約 18 歲時，我決定開始所謂的「百人互動挑戰」以增進我的社交技能。

Basically, you have a month to interact with one hundred people.

基本上就是你要花一個月去和 100 個人互動。

It doesn't really matter how deep the interactions are⏤heck, you could run up to people and just say hi and then run away, and that would still count as an interaction.

互動多深都無所謂，你甚至可以跑向某人、說聲嗨，然後跑掉， 那樣也算一次互動。

The majority of my interactions during this challenge involved asking people for directions while pretending that my phone died and that I was lost.

在這項挑戰中，我大部分的互動都是向人問路， 假裝我的手機沒電，然後迷路了。

And although these interactions on a surface level seemed very simple and short, I eventually found myself transitioning into deeper conversations.

而即使這些互動表面上看起來很簡單又短暫，我發現自己最後都能轉變為更深度的交談。

And this actually led to a whole lot of practice for my brain, and I did see a pretty significant boost in my social skills by the time the challenge was over.

而這其實讓我的腦袋有很大量的練習，而在挑戰結束時，我確實看見了我的社交技能有頗顯著的進步。

Now a quick little side note: People always ask me to make a course for the hundred interaction challenge whenever I talk about it,

順帶一提：每當我提起這件事，很多人總在請我為這個百人互動挑戰開立課程，

but to be honest, it wouldn't really even be a course; I literally just explained to you all you have to do.

但老實說，這實在成不了一門課程，我剛剛就解釋完所有應該做的事。

But then they'd often say something like, "Oh, but it'd be helpful to have an accountability group, and also, if you can motivate us every day of the challenge."

但他們常常接著說：「喔，但如果有個責任群組，還有如果你可以每天激勵我們，那會很有幫助。」

So, if that's something you're interested in, I guess... why not?

所以如果這是你們有興趣的，我想何不呢？

I'll make the program 'cause I do enjoy helping you out.

我會做出這個計畫是因為我很樂意幫助你們，

All you gotta do is sign up for my mailing list using the link in the description box below, and I'll let you know the next time we run this experimental program.

你們只要加入我在下方敘述欄中超連結的寄件清單，我就會在我們下一次實施這個實驗計畫時通知你們。

Back to the topic at hand, here's a good analogy that I want to leave you with when it comes to getting better at talking to people.

回到目前的主題，關於更擅長與人交談，我想分享給你們一個很好的比喻。

Watching videos to learn social skills is sort of like watching videos when you're trying to learn how to ride a bike.

看影片學習社交技巧有點像是看影片學習如何騎腳踏車。

Yes, it can be very helpful to watch others do it, it can be helpful to learn exactly how bikes even work, but the fastest way to learn how to ride a bike is to just jump on and start pedaling.

沒錯，看別人做可能非常有幫助、對於學習腳踏車如何運作很有幫助，但學習騎腳踏車的最快方式是直接跳上車，開始踩踏板。

Sure, you'll probably fall over and over again, but eventually, you'll get it right; eventually, you'll figure out how to balance properly.

當然你很有可能會一直摔倒但最終你會做好，最終你會了解如何適當地保持平衡。

And this is basically what happens when you go out and start talking to more people.

這基本上就是當你走出去開始與人交談時會發生的事。

Sure, you'll probably have a couple of awkward interactions, but eventually. you will learn the patterns and rules of the culture.

當然你很有可能會有一些尷尬的互動，但你最終會學會這個文化的模式與規則。

You'll learn what's funny, what's not appropriate, and over time, you will learn how to speak with finesse, you will learn how to balance.

你會學會什麼是有趣的、什麼是不恰當的，長期下來你會學會如何適當地說話，你會學會如何平衡。

So, just go out there and start talking to more people.

所以就走出去開始跟更多人說話吧。

That's the secret.

那就是秘訣。

Hope you guys like this video; if you want to learn more about the theory behind making friends,

希望你們大家喜歡這支影片，想知道更多交朋友的原理，

I suggest you start from the very beginning of the Bee Friend course by clicking over here or on the link in the description box below.

我建議你從 Bee Friend 課程的最起點開始，可以點這裡或是在下方敘述欄裡的連結。

Besides that, guys, stay tuned.

除此之外，請各位持續鎖定頻道。