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  • Okay.

    好。

  • Monday, let's go.

    星期一,來吧。

  • Hey Brennan, you feeling okay?

    嘿,Brennan,你還好嗎?

  • Yeah, you seem a little under the weather.

    你看起來病懨懨的。

  • What's that?

    什麼意思?

  • Like, you seem sick.

    就是,看起來生病了。

  • That's true, yeah, I'm sick as a dog.

    對啊,我病得像條狗...。

  • Fuckin' work dog dude, let's do it.

    像條上班狗啊老兄!來吧!

  • Let's shred it this week guys, turn and burn it.

    搞定這禮拜吧!各位,打拼時間到。

  • If you're sick, you should go home.

    你如果生病的話,就該回家。

  • Go home, come on guys, it's the flu.

    回家?拜託這只是小感冒。

  • A little flu never hurt anybody.

    小感冒不傷身。

  • The flu has killed millions.

    感冒明明要了幾百萬條人命。

  • Handedly untrue.

    沒錯。

  • Yeah, you should go home.

    你真的該回家。

  • I hear your concern, appreciate it.

    我聽到你們的關心了,我也很感謝。

  • Guys, here's the deal (burp) oh god.

    各位,是這樣的(打嗝),噢天啊。

  • I'm not one of these little babies that has to call in sick from home, I'm... (sneezes blood)

    我跟那些生一點小病就請假回家的小寶寶不同,我...(噴血)

  • God, fuck! Go to the hospital!

    天啊,你給我去醫院!

  • Nope, callin' 911.

    不,我要打 911 了。

  • Go home or I'll kill you.

    你給我回家,不然我就殺了你。

  • It's fine, this isn't half as much blood as yesterday.

    沒事啦,這血量是昨天的一半而已。

  • Fevers broken, I can see again, I...

    我退燒了,視力恢復,我...。

  • Ahhhhhhhhhhh, oh it's burning!

    啊啊啊啊啊 —— 好燙!

  • What is that Xenomorph spit? Why is it burning?

    那是什麼異形的口水嗎?為何會腐蝕?

  • You think it's so heroic to stay and work in the office but really you're just putting everyone else in danger.

    你自以為生病上班是英雄的行為,但你其實讓大家都暴露在危險中。

  • The only thing I'm in danger of is giving 110%.

    唯一的危險就是我會拼上、我的、命!

  • Oh god dude your eye!

    喔!天啊!老兄你的眼睛!

  • Your eye, your eye, your eye.

    你的眼睛!眼睛!眼睛!

  • Go home!

    快回家!

  • It's fine, five second rule.

    沒事沒事,五秒鐘法則。

  • Fuck you.

    去你的。

  • You need to use a sick day you're putting everyone here at risk.

    你得請病假,你讓大家陷入危險當中。

  • At risk, what are you talking about?

    風險?你在說什麼?

  • What ever happened to walking it off?

    我去外面散散步就好了嘛!

  • My ancestors couldn't call in sick when they were building railroads and fighting Nazis.

    我的祖先在建鐵路和打納粹的時候才不會請病假。

  • Your ancestors died of preventable diseases all the time.

    你的祖先,幾乎都死於可預防的疾病!

  • Okay, let's call it a compromise.

    好好好,我們各退一步。

  • Look I'll wrap myself up in my little blankie, I'll take a little shot of hot sauce.

    我把自己用小毯毯包得緊緊的,喝點辣椒醬。

  • I'll take a couple cloves of garlic.

    吃點大蒜。

  • Then I'll squirt some lemon juice in my eyes.

    擠點檸檬汁在眼睛裡。

  • Okay, I'll take a space heater and I'll sit on it.

    拿個暖爐坐在上面。

  • Oh, there we go okay and now just sweat it out.

    好了,把汗悶出來就沒事了。

  • - Oh god Brennan get up! - Brennan!

    - 喔!天啊! Brennan 快起來!- Brennan!

  • Brennan get up, get up, get up!

    Brennan 快起來!起來!

  • Normally that works.

    通常有效的啊。

  • Go home!

    給我回家!

  • I can't, you guys are depending on me for my comedy scripts, I can't leave you guys hanging.

    我走不掉,你們需要我的喜劇腳本,我不能丟下你們。

  • You just started working here.

    你才剛來上班。

  • And when you're sick, your work suffers.

    而當你生病時,工作也做不好。

  • No it doesn't.

    才沒這回事。

  • Interior Brennan dada, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me, kill me.

    Brennan 的內心,點點,殺了我、殺了我、殺了我、殺了我、殺了我、殺了我、殺了我。

  • Okay it's a little unpolished, but I think there's a kernel of ...

    好啦,是還需要一點潤飾啦,但我覺得真正的核心...

  • No!

    不 ——

  • Is he dead?

    他死了嗎?

  • Yeah as a doornail bitch.

    是啊,死透了。

  • Hi, is this HR?

    嗨,請問是人事部嗎?

  • Yes, okay, so I was calling 'cause a sick employee refused to go home but now I'm calling 'cause there's been an office incident with a knife.

    好的,我本來想通報你們有名職員生病卻拒絕請假回家,但現在我要通報辦公室發生刀殺事件。

  • Yes, it was Katie.

    是,是 Katie 殺的。

  • You were fucking dead.

    你不是死了嗎?!

  • Hey guys are we still meeting at 3:00?

    嘿!我們 3 點還有要開會嗎?

  • Yes.

    有。

  • Cool, I'll be there.

    酷,等等見。

  • How is this possible?

    這怎麼可能?

  • Well Trep, I guess I'm just not one of the little babies that has to call out of the meeting just any old time that I see grip of death stops the beating of their heart.

    這個嘛,Trep,我想我和那些會議請假的小寶寶不同,我不會因為區區一個死亡讓我心跳停止就缺席。

  • I have a few extra pitches today, I'm happy to go at the end.

    我今天還有幾場簡報會要參加,我會在後半段加入你們的會議。

  • Hey guys it's Brennan from College Humor.

    嗨大家,我是 College Humor 的 Brennan。

  • Click here to subscribe, click here for more fun stuff and please keep watching because if you stop watching, I start to vanish, you get it?

    請按這裡訂閱,按這裡看更多有趣影片,也請你們繼續支持我們的影片,因為你們不看的話,我就會消失,懂嗎?

  • I'm not really real, I'm just a thing in your screen.

    我並不是真人,我只存在於你的螢幕裡。

  • Ahh, don't forget me!

    啊,別忘了我!

Okay.

好。

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 生病 病假 感冒 眼睛 小寶寶 祖先

超爆笑!死都不請病假的同事 (The Guy Who Won't Call In Sick)

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    Samuel 發佈於 2018 年 08 月 20 日
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