Let's take a look back at the best films we saw this year, shall we?

讓我們回顧一下今年看過最好看的電影，好嗎？

I saw nothing. I got kicked out of, like, 8 movie theaters last month alone!

我什麼也沒看成。 上個月，我被 8 家電影院趕出來！

Ugh...

哦‧‧‧

That's 'cuz you don't behave right in the movie theaters!

那是因為你在電影院裡沒規矩！

What? I just act how I act when I watch movies at home!

什麼？ 我只是和在家裡看影片做同樣的事而已！

I take off my pants,

我脫掉長褲

I get some chicken,

我買了一些炸雞

and I yell at the screen!

而且我對著銀幕大吼！

(munching)

(咀嚼聲)

Are you good or bad, Magneto?

你要還是不要，Magneto？

MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

趕快決定！

HUSH!

噓！

Going to the movies is great!

去看電影真棒！

But you're not the only one in the movie theater.

但電影院裡不只有你，還有其他人

Unless the movie is really, really bad.

除非那部電影真的、真的很爛

So, have respect for your fellow movie patrons,

所以，尊重看電影的其他觀眾

and everyone will have a good time!

這樣的話每個人都會很開心！

You're probably thinking,

你可能在想

'I know this rule, this is common sense!'

「 我知道這個規定，這是常識！」

'Then, why do they still have to show this before every film?'

「 那麼，他們為什麼還要在每部電影開始前播放這個？」

(upbeat ragtime music)

(歡樂的音樂)

Sit down, Mario!

Mario，坐下！

But I have to pee!

但是我想尿尿！

The one time you're actually allowed to talk,

你唯一被允許說話的時機

is when you miss a part of the movie,

就是因為你去了洗手間

'cuz you went to the bathroom.

而錯過了一部分電影情節的時候

What did I miss?

我漏掉甚麼嗎？

(whispering)

(耳語)

This happens to all of us,

這會發生在我們每個人身上

so we sympathize,

所以我們要有同理心

and we know not to talk when the film starts.

並且我們知道在電影開始後就不要說話

But don't ask like this:

但不要這樣問：

WHAT DID I MISS?!

我漏掉甚麼嗎？

And... don't ask a stranger instead of your friend.

並且 ‧‧‧ 不要問陌生人，除非他是你朋友

Hey buddy, I was making number two.

老兄，我剛才去上大號

What did I miss?

我漏掉甚麼嗎？

Hush!

噓！

Fine. Be a jerk.

很好。當個傻瓜吧

Hey buddy, I was making number two.

老兄，我剛才去上大號

What did I miss?

我漏掉甚麼嗎？

(growls)

(咆哮)

Absolutely no cell phones.

絕對不要用手機

This includes texting.

包括傳簡訊

'Cuz when you text...

因為你打字的時候 ‧‧‧

(phones vibrate) (everyone looks down at their phones)

(手機震動) (每個人都在看自己的手機)

Meh!

唉！

And then you have to do this:

然後你必須這樣做：

'Hey! Fafa! I was texting instead of paying attention.'

「嗨！發發！ 我正在發簡訊，沒在看電影。」

'What did I miss?'

「我漏掉甚麼嗎？」

Seriously?

真的？

Shh!

噓！

Not all movies start at the same time.

並非所有電影都是同時間開始的

The reboot of Beastmaster you're seein',

你正在看的《終極獸王》

may start in five minutes.

可能在五分鐘後開始

But everybody else may be going to see

但是其他人也許要看

'The Start of the Dawn of......the Return to the Planet of......the Apes of Tomorrow',

《猩球崛起之回歸故鄉之黎明開始》

and that starts in a half hour.

而它要半小時後才開始

So make sure you know what you want,

所以請搞清楚你要看的是哪一部電影

and you have your money ready.

並把錢準備好

It's not that hard;

沒那麼難

they only sell, like, five things.

電影院賣的零食大概只有五種

Screw this!

靠！

I'm sneaking in my own snacks next time.

下次我要自己偷帶零食

Hmmmm...

嗯 ‧‧‧

There's nothing wrong with sneaking in snacks when you go to the movie theater.

去電影院偷帶零食沒什麼大不了

Especially since a small soda costs, like, $7.50.

何況它們一小罐汽水都賣到，大約，美金 7.5 元

But open sneaky snacks at the appropriate time.

但偷吃的時候要選對時機

(emotional scene)

(感動的場景)

(hiss!)

(漏氣聲)

Hush!

噓！

And that's not the most annoying sound in the movies!

這還不是電影中最惱人的聲音！

Wah!

哇！

Babies.

嬰兒

Everybody loves babies.

大家都喜歡嬰兒

Everybody loves the movies.

大家都喜歡看電影

Nobody likes babies at the movies!

但是沒有人喜歡在電影院看到嬰兒

Even if your lil' bundle a' joy only cries once,

即便你的小寶寶只哭了一次

WAAAHHH!

哇！

(patrons groaning)

(觀眾呻吟)

You've ruined the movie for all of us.

你毀了我們的電影

If your infant can't support the weight of his own head, he's not gonna get ANYTHING out of Guardians of the Galaxy.

如果你的寶寶太小，他根本什麼也看不懂

Hey! At least he's not blocking my view!

嘿 ! 至少他沒有擋住我的視線！

If you are a tall person at the movies,

如果你是高個子

you are more hated than the fact that popcorn costs 70 bucks.

你會比爆米花賣 70 美元更令人討厭

(I hate you, giraffe)

(我討厭你，長頸鹿)

If you know you're tall,

如果你知道自己很高

Please slouch down a little.

請稍微將坐姿放低一點

Or at the very least,

或至少

don't sit down directly in front of, like, a little girl or something.

不要直接擋住，像是，小女孩之類的人

Did he just call me a little girl?

他剛才叫我是小女孩嗎？

Unfortunately, your seat and the seat next to you share an armrest.

不幸的是，你和你旁邊的座位共用一個扶手

You are going to have to have an armrest competition with the person next to you if you want it.

如果你有需要，你將不得不與旁邊的人進行搶扶手比賽

Follow the same rules you would on an airplane.

比照與搭飛機相同的規則

If your neighbor's arm gets there first, it's theirs.

如果你隔壁的人先用了扶手，那使用權就是他的

If they move it, please follow the five-second rule!

如果他們的手移開了，請遵循五秒規則！

Give your neighbor a courteous count to five to reclaim his property.

禮貌地數到五秒，然後把扶手使用權拿回來

Meh...

唉 ‧‧‧

Follow these common courtesies, and you, and everyone around you will have a great time at the movies!

遵循這些常見的禮節，你和周圍的每個人都可以在看電影中度過美好時光！

That's right! Unless that movie has Will Smith's kid in it!

沒錯！ 除非那部影片中有威爾史密斯的孩子！

That kid needs acting lessons...

那個小鬼需要去演員訓練班 ‧‧‧

Yeah, he's not very good...

對，他演得沒有很好

Bleh...

唉 ‧‧‧