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  • Apple has something new and slightly terrifying on the way.

    蘋果公司最近公佈了一個有點恐怖的消息

  • Soon you will be able to track all your medical information on your iPhone.

    不久後你就可以在你的 iPhone 上查看你的醫療資料

  • Apple is like: "Look, we already know all this stuff.

    蘋果就像在說:「聽著,我們早就知道這些資訊了,

  • We are just asking your permission to put it on your phone."

    我們只是需要你們同意讓我們放到手機裡而已。」

  • The idea is to help people automatically keep track of their medical history,

    這功能的用意是在於讓人們可以自動追蹤自己的就醫紀錄

  • and also to let the guy at the genius bar know you have herpes.

    還有,讓維修部的人知道你有皰疹

  • But, part of me likes the idea because I like the idea of of tracking my medical history.

    但某方面我還滿喜歡這個點子,因為我覺得可以了解自己的就醫紀錄還滿不錯的

  • Part of me doesn't, because it seems a little bit...

    某方面我不喜歡,因為感覺有點...

  • I mean imagine, imagine what it would be like if Siri was your doctor.

    你想想,如果 Siri 是你的醫生,會發生什麼事?

  • Hey Siri.

    嘿,Siri

  • What can I help you with?

    有什麼我能幫您的?

  • Thanks for seeing me, I've been a little under the weather.

    謝謝你幫我看診,我身體有點不舒服 (註:under the weather 意思為身體不適)

  • The weather in Los Angeles is

    洛杉磯的天氣

  • - currently clear skies with zero percent chance of rain. - No, no, no.

    - 現在是晴朗無雲且降雨機率為零 - 不、不、不

  • - The temperature is... - I'm saying, Siri I don't feel well.

    - 現在氣溫為... - 我的意思是,Siri 我不舒服

  • I have a pain in my side.

    我這邊很痛

  • You're concerned about penis size.

    你很在意你下面的尺寸 (註:此處諷刺 Siri 語音辨識能力很差)

  • I found several pills that can help.

    我有一些藥可以幫你解決

  • Not... Yeah a little but I'm not...

    不... 是有一點,但我不...

  • I have a pain, what I'm asking about I have a pain right here.

    我這裡很痛,我在問的是我這個地方很痛

  • It hurts when I press it.

    我一壓它就痛

  • Prostate. Got it.

    前列腺,了解 (註:此處 prostate 諧音上一句 press it)

  • - Remove your pants and bend over the table. - No, no, no, no...

    - 請把褲子脫掉然後趴在桌上 - 不、不、不

  • I'm pretty sure this pain has absolutely nothing to do with my prostate.

    我很確定這裡的疼痛跟我的前列腺毫無關係

  • Okay. Prostitutes.

    了解,性交易 (註:prostitute 諧音 prostate)

  • I found five prostitutes in your area.

    我在你周遭找到了五間有小姐的酒店

  • Tap one to call.

    請擇一撥號

  • No. You know what I'm not... I don't want to call any of them.

    不,我其實不是... 我不想撥任何一個號碼

  • Can you just give me something for the pain?

    你能不能直接給我一些止痛藥?

  • Maybe, uh, Aspirin or some Tylenol.

    像是,阿斯匹靈或一些普拿疼

  • Okay, Tide Pods.

    了解,汰漬洗衣球 (註:此處同為諧音)

  • No. It's... Tylenol.

    不,是... 普拿疼

  • - Can I help you with anything else? - No... these will be fine.

    - 還有什麼我能幫您的嗎?- 不用了... 這樣就可以了

  • Thank you Siri. Thank you for the Tide Pods.

    謝謝你,Siri,謝謝你的洗衣球

  • Thank you Siri. I'm just going to stay here. Alright.

    謝謝你,Siri。我要直接坐在這裡,好的

  • I don't know why. Don't know why I feel like...

    我不知道為何,不知道為什麼我覺得...

  • You've just walked in on a Lily Tomlin sketch.

    好像在拍 Lily Tomlin 的喜劇 (註: Lily Tomlin 為一美國女喜劇演員)

Apple has something new and slightly terrifying on the way.

蘋果公司最近公佈了一個有點恐怖的消息

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【吉米秀】如果 Siri 是你的醫生? (What if Siri Was Your Doctor?)

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    kiki 發佈於 2018 年 02 月 17 日
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