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you wanna know what makes whiskey the most epic drink of all-time?
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how about f*%#ing everything.
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drinking a glass of whiskey a day helps prevent cancer.
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you know what it also prevents? you looking like a total piece of S#*%.
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Whiskey's the only drink that blind you and cure that blindness at the same time.
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people who drink whiskey are less likely to get alzheimers and more likely to get laid. Statistically.
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so you want to keep that sexy body?
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Drink whiskey. Low carb and fat free.
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0 your a gluten-free vegan well I've got this great new diet plan.
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it's called shut up and drink your whisky
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Yes whiskey has gluten in it. Just like your vagina sand.
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Whiskey is the most important meal of the day.
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That's what my kids taught me.
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whiskey's the only drink that when you drink it and wince you actually look cool.
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See.
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Whiskey's aged in oak casks
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what's gin aged in? Grandma's perfume bottles?
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knowing a lot about wine means you're a sissy
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knowing a lot about vodka means you're a club douche.
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knowing a lot about whiskey, means your a true American hero.
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God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn't rule the world.
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That's a fact
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Did you know that george washington had a whiskey distillery?
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yeah, it's as American as apple pie.
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Whiskey owns you. Not the other way around. That's because whiskey is nobody's b@*$#.
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Whiskey puts hair on your chest, even if you don't want it.
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the best cure for whiskey hangover more whiskey.
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You know who'd be impressed you drink whiskey? Ric Flair.
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Tom Selleck, John Wayne, president eisenhower
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Rachel Maddow, Rowdy Roddy Piper, eddie Van Halen
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my boyfriend's motorcycle mechanic, SEAL team 6.
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bukowski. Oh yeah and me.
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Listen, the truth is that the only thing you really need to know about whiskey
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is that you should be drinking and right now. Cheers.
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The only thing hotter than a hot girl drinking whiskey
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is a hot guy drinking whiskey.
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I tried to wink and it looked bad.
