So for those of you that don't know,

對於那些不認識我的人

I've been making YouTube videos

可能不知道我已經在 YouTube 上

for about eight years now, and a lot has changed since then,

做影片做八年了，而這段日子裡這個社群改變了很多

both good and bad.

有好有壞

But today I'm gonna be talking about one of the bad ones

但今天我們要來談談那些壞的改變

because I am a pretty pessimistic person. I'm pretty negative.

畢竟我是個滿悲觀的人

Some people see the glass half full, some people see the glass half empty.

有些人看到杯子半滿，有些人看到杯子半空

For me, I'm so negative I don't even see the glass anymore.

但對我來說，我悲觀到根本連杯子都看不到了

Oh no, wait, it's still half full.

噢，不對耶，它是半滿的

Hmm.

酷

I just realized what this looks like.

額，突然意識到這長得有點怪

The letter C!

我是說像 C 這個字母啦！

Anyway, I'm gonna be talking about one of the bad changes that I've noticed

總之，我要來跟你們聊聊近期注意到的比較不好的現象

that is definitely on the rise on YouTube, which happens to be...

這個現象在 YouTube 上越來越嚴重，也就是

yep, you guessed it, it's in the title:

對，你猜對了（標題也有寫啦）

Easily butthole people. I mean, butt-butthurt...

超容易玻璃心碎的人！

easily butthurt people. In the...their hurt...what?

隨便說什麼就會玻璃心碎的人，嗯嗯

Beep!

嗶——

Beep! Beep! Beep!

嗶嗶嗶——

Mooo..butthurt people!

玻璃心的人！

People who are easily offended and react in an overly dramatic fashion,

非常容易因為一件小事就生氣或過度反應的人

usually starting with the word, "wow".

通常句子都以「哇靠」開頭

Here's some examples of easily butthurt people:

以下是一些玻璃心的人的例子

Dude, I love Nicki Minaj. She's bomb, look!

兄弟，你不覺得妮姬·米娜超屌嗎？你看！

Yeah, she's alright.

噢，我覺得她還不錯啊

You don't think she's bomb?

還不錯而已？她明明超屌！

I mean, she's not really my type. I'm kinda more into girls

我的意思是她不是我的菜，我比較喜歡

- that actually wear clothes. - Wow, man!

-衣服穿多一點的女生 -哇靠，老兄

I can't believe you're into slut shaming.

我不敢相信你竟然會羞辱蕩婦！

I'm not into slut shaming! That's not my preference.

我才沒在羞辱蕩婦，我只是沒那麼喜歡她而已啊

Slut shaming is a big problem 'cause it's all over the news now.

羞辱蕩婦是個很大的問題欸，新聞一直報！

- Well, I didn't mean-- - Yeah! You are mean.

- 我的意思不是—— -你就是！

Made in China?

中國製？

Hey, Derek! You're Chinese, right?

欸德瑞克，你是中國人對吧？

Wow, bro. Are you serious?

靠北，你是認真嗎？

- What? - I'm Taiwanese, man.

-什麼？-我是台灣人！

- There's a big difference. - Oh. I'm sorry, man.

-差很多好嗎！-噢，對不起

- I didn't realize-- - No, you didn't.

-我沒想到—— -沒有，你從來不會想！

(whimpers)

哼！

Hey, Ryan! Wanna hear a funny joke?

雷恩，我講個笑話給你聽

- Sure. - Alright, what do you call

-好啊 -好，你會怎麼稱呼

- a fat Asian person? - I don't know, what?

-一個胖的亞洲人？-不知道，什麼？

- A chunk! - (laughing)

-中國佬肉！（註：Chink 為西方侮辱華人的一個字，chunk 則指「一大塊、厚塊」）

That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

滿好笑的、滿好笑的！

- Okay, I got one for you now. - Alright.

-換我講一個 -好啊

What do you call a schoolbus full of white people?

一個坐滿白人的校車叫什麼？

I don't know.

不知道

A Twinkie! (snickering)

一個 Twinkie！（註：Twinkie 為美國著名甜食，外層為海綿蛋糕，內夾奶油）

- W-What? - Wow, dude.

-什、什麼？-哇靠

- What? - I can't believe you just said that.

-啥？ -我不敢相信你竟然講這種笑話

Well, I thought because you made a racist j--

呃，我想說你講了歧視亞洲人的笑話，我也可以啊

You KNOW my father was killed by a Twinkie.

你明明知道我爸爸是被 Twinkie 殺死的！

You get the point.

好啦，你們懂就好

Don't get me wrong, easily butthurt people have always existed.

別誤會，玻璃心的人自古至今都存在的

They're also known as overly-sensitive people.

他們又被稱為過於敏感的人

I'm sure you know exactly what kind of people I'm talking about.

我相信你們完全懂我在說哪些人

And maybe it's just me, but I feel like over the years

不知道是不是只有我這樣覺得，但這幾年來

people have gotten more and more easily butthurt over everything,

我覺得越來越多人很容易玻璃心了

especially on YouTube. YouTube used to be a place where you could

尤其是在 YouTube 上。YouTube 以前是一個

upload whatever you wanted. We uploaded things

可以想拍什麼影片就拍的地方，我們上傳的影片

that we were passionate about. We could say whatever we wanted to say.

都是自己熱衷的東西。想說什麼都能說

It was like the opposite of television. It was freedom!

它就是跟電視完全相反的地方啊！它曾經是個自由之地

But over the years, I've noticed that YouTube is becoming more

但最近幾年，我發現 YouTube 變得越來越

and more like television, where you have to be really careful

像電視了，講話都要變得很小心

with what you say because everything you say is gonna be used against you

不然別人就會利用你說的話針對你

and it's gonna offend someone. You can't say or do anything on YouTube

或是很容易惹毛別人。你已經不能在 YouTube 上說或做任何事了

anymore without a bunch of people being so dramatic.

不然一堆人就會開始炒作

And the thing is, I don't even think these people are actually offended

而且問題是，我覺得這些人有一半的時候根本沒有真的生氣吧

half the time. I think they believe

我覺得他們相信

that it's supposed to offend them, so they act that way.

自己應該要生氣，所以才有這種表現

But really, it doesn't even bother them. Or maybe they just say these things

但其實根本不影響他們，或是他們講這些只是

so people agree with them. For example:

想得到人們的同意，像是

I posted a video a couple weeks ago and there's a joke in it

前幾週我上傳了一部影片，裡面有個笑話

that mentions Ebola in it. And the thing is, if there wasn't so much

提到伊波拉病毒，重點是，如果當時

news and articles about Ebola right now, nobody would've cared about that joke.

新聞沒有在報導伊波拉病毒，根本沒人會注意那個笑話

At least the majority of the people wouldn't have been offended.

至少大部份的人不會因此而生氣

But because it's a trending topic and scaring people,

但因為它是個火紅的議題，有些人被嚇到

it's all of a sudden so offensive.

突然之間，這個笑話就變得很容易冒犯人

And for those of you who haven't seen that video,

對於那些沒看過我那部影片的人

this is what the joke looked like:

那個笑話大概長這樣

If a girl that small were to kill me--OW!

如果那麼小隻的女生想殺我——好痛！

- What the hell, dude? - There. Ebola.

-欸！你在幹麻啊！-搞定了，伊波拉病毒！

Now you really have seven days. I don't know why I even told you.

現在你真的只剩七天可以活！我甚至不知道自己幹嘛告訴你

And from that little mention of Ebola, I got so many upset comments

而就因為我在這麼小的地方提到了伊波拉病毒，就收到超多憤怒的留言

saying things like, "Wow, that is so offensive!"

打說：「哇靠，這句話也太白目了吧！」

"People are dying from Ebola now. It's not a joke."

「有人真的因為伊波拉病毒死掉欸，這種事怎麼能拿來開玩笑！」

"Yeah, making fun of a deadly virus is so funny.

「噢對啊，拿致死的病毒開玩笑超幽默。」

You're such a bad example for kids!"

「你根本不能被當作小孩的模範！」

See, I understand, when you first see this,

好，我懂你們為什麼第一眼看到時

how you could think it's offensive. Because it's a serious topic

會覺得有點嚴重，因為這的確是個嚴肅的議題

in a comedy video.

還放在搞笑影片裡

But think about it: Does that really offend you,

但你想一下，這真的有冒犯到你嗎？

or do you just think it should? First of all, it's one joke

還是你只是覺得這「應該」要冒犯到你？首先

in a fictional scene on a comedy video on YouTube.

這是一個在 YouTube 上的搞笑影片虛構故事裡的玩笑

And even if it did, does that joke honestly hurt you or offend you in any way?

而且，這個玩笑真的有傷害到、冒犯到你嗎？

Because if it does, I apologize to you sincerely.

如果有的話，我真心地跟你們道歉

I did NOT mean offend you in any way. It wasn't meant to be offensive.

我無意要冒犯你們，這笑話不是這個作用的

But if you really do get offended that easily,

但如果你真的這麼容易被冒犯

you should probably stay off the internet because you're gonna have a bad time.

你應該停止上網，不然你會過得不太開心

Ebola is not something new! It's been around for a long time.

況且伊波拉根本不是新的病毒，它早就存在了

Just because something is all of a sudden in the news,

只因為它突然出現在新聞裡

it doesn't make it any less or more deadly than it was before.

不代表現在比以前還致命啊

If I made that same joke a year ago, I'm pretty sure nobody would've cared

如果我在一年前開了一樣的玩笑，一定沒人會在乎

because it wasn't a trending topic then. Or if I were to switch out the word Ebola

因為那時還沒有上新聞。或是我如果把伊波拉病毒換成

with something else that's deadly, like arsenic, people wouldn't have

一樣致命的東西，像砷中毒，人們根本就不會提到它

even mentioned it, and injecting arsenic is just as deadly, if not more deadly.

而且在人體中注入砷根本一樣致命，甚至更毒

You wouldn't even have seven days to live. You'd die that day!

你根本不會有七天可以活，你當天就會死了！

And last, if mentioning Ebola in a YouTube video is a bad example

最後，如果在 YouTube 影片中講到伊波拉對小孩來說是個不好的榜樣

for kids, just because it's a deadly virus, then what about children shows

只因它是致命病毒，那麼那些卡通節目呢？

like Tom and Jerry? That entire children's show

像《湯姆貓與傑利鼠》，這整部卡通

is about a cat trying to murder a mouse. But I guess attempted murder

都是關於貓在殺老鼠耶！也許是因為蓄意謀殺

is not that bad, right? 'Cause it's not in the news.

沒那麼嚴重吧？因為不在新聞裡啊？

But it is!

咦，但其實有在新聞裡耶！

Or what about Pokémon? That's a bunch of people who are capturing

還有寶可夢呢？這裡面有一堆人

wild animals and keeping them captive in a little ball, raising them

在抓野生動物並把牠們關在一顆小球裡

until they're strong enough to fight other animals!

直到牠們夠強壯能出去打別的動物！

Sounds like animal cruelty to me.

這難道不是在虐待動物嗎？

Or even Spongebob. There's not much violence in that one,

或海綿寶寶，這裡面的確沒什麼暴力

but it's very sexually inappropriate for kids.

但對小孩來說內容太過於情色了吧

Come on, they live in Bikini Bottom. And there's somebody named

拜託，他們住在一個叫「比基尼屁股」的城市欸！（註：中文翻譯為「比奇堡」）

Sandy Cheeks in Bikini Bottom. And also there's a Mr. Krabs

比基尼屁股城裡面還住著叫「沙沙的屁股蛋」（註：中文翻譯為「珊迪」）

in Bikini Bottom.

與「陰蝨病先生」（註：蟹老闆 Krabs 發音同性病 crabs）

And don't even get me started on Squidward's nose.

更別提到章魚哥的鼻子了

Childhood ruined.

童年瞬間被毀滅

And like I said, these are all children's shows. For children.

而就像我說的，這些都是給小孩看的節目耶，給小孩耶！

And me. 'Cause I watch them occasionally.

還有我啦，我偶爾會看

Sometimes.

有時候會看

Okay, I watch them all the time.

好啦好啦，我超常看

To all you easily butthurt people out there, the next time you feel like

致那些玻璃心的男女，下次你覺得

something is offensive to you, ask yourself this:

有事情冒犯到你，請問自己一下：

Does this really bother you? Does it actually offend you?

這真的有惹到你嗎？你真的有生氣？

Or are you just thinking that because you feel like

還是你只是覺得

you should be offended, even though you're really not.

你「應該」要感到憤怒，但其實並沒有

And also because you want to make up points so that the rest of your

還有可能是因為你想要隨便打個留言

butthurt friends can thumbs up your comment.

這樣你的玻璃心朋友們就會幫你按讚

Because if that's the case, you're one of the main reasons

如果這是真的，就是因為有你這種人

why YouTube is becoming a butthurt place, and it's a real pain in the ass.

YouTube 才會變成這種玻璃心掉滿地的地方，超煩的

Pun not intended.

不是故意要雙關

Bun intended!

其實是啦（註：bun 指的也是屁股）

Heheheheheheheheheh...

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

But seriously.

但說實在的

Can we just go back to the fun YouTube community that it once was?

我們可不可以拜託回到 YouTube 好玩的時期？

I know that was a long time ago, about eight years.

我知道那是很久以前了，大概八年前

I was like 15 or 16. But I'm getting old now.

當時我才 15、16 歲，我現在老了

I'm 24. I'm about to die.

我 24 歲了，快死了

- Wow, that is really offensive. - What?

-哇靠，這句話也太白目 -啥

You just said you're 24 and you're about to die.

你說你 24 然後快要死了

That's really offensive to everyone older than you.

這對比你老的人來說很失禮！

- It was a joke! - Death is not something

-我只是在開玩笑欸 -死亡不是一件

you should joke about. You should never, NEVER joke

可以拿來開玩笑的事！你永遠、永遠不可以

- about death, EV-- - (gun shot)

拿死亡開玩笑！（槍聲）

Never say never.

永遠不要說不

So now you're supporting guns and old, outdated Justin Beiber references?

你現在又支持拿槍、又使用過時的小賈斯丁歌詞？

That's even more offensive than before. You support Justin,

這比剛剛還更白目！你支持小賈斯丁

and he supports weed, which means you support drugs!

而他支持大麻，那就表示你支持毒品！

How are you even here? I just shot you.

你為啥還在這？我剛把你射死了啊？

That wasn't even me, you racist! Just because I'm Asian, we all look alike?!

那根本不是我！你歧視我嗎？只因為我們是亞洲人所以都長一樣？

I mean, you do look alike. We all do. You're both technically me.

可是，你們真的長一樣啊！我們都長一樣！你們都是我！

Yeah, because everything revolves around you.

對啊，因為全世界都是繞著你旋轉

The whole world revolves around you! You probably don't even care

全世界你最重要！你根本不在乎

about the starving kids in Africa because you're all in

那些挨餓的非洲小孩，因為你在

a first world country, where you don't even have to care about

第一世界國家，根本就不用在乎

what everything-- - (gun shot)

其他——（槍聲）

What the?!

發生什麼——？

- (thud) - I didn't even shoot you that time.

（重擊聲）我剛根本沒射你欸！

But I did.

是我開的槍！

Let me guess, I said something offensive to you now.

讓我猜，是因為我剛又說了什麼白目的話嗎？

What? No.

什麼？不是啊

Those guys were just being irritating. They were getting butthurt

只是因為他們太煩了，隨便就玻璃心

- over every little thing. - Thank you!

-根本只是一件小事 -謝謝你！

That is what I've been trying to say this whole time!

我剛就是想表達這件事

Thank God someone has finally--

感謝上帝終於有人懂——

Wow, okay, you know what? I was cool with everything else,

哇靠，你知道嗎？剛剛本來沒事了

but the moment you bring religion into this,

但你就要給我提到宗教

- that's the moment that I-- - (gun shot)

一聽到我就——（槍聲）

You know what? I give up.

你知道嗎？我放棄！

I'm not even gonna talk this time.

我這次連話都不想講了

Wow, you're not gonna talk to me just 'cause I'm a girl?!

哇靠，你因為我是女生就不跟我講話？

That's the most sexist thing I ever--

你也太性別歧視了吧！

(gun shot)

（槍聲）

Alright, is there anyone left? Or can I please just get back to the video?

好了，還有人活著嗎？我可以回去拍片了嗎？

Jesus Chri--(gasps)

耶穌基——

What did you just say?!

你說什麼？

I said Jeebus, like with a B. Like JB.

我說 Jeebus 啦，是加 B 的那個，像 JB

Wow, JB! So you DO support Justin Bieber and his drugs!

哇靠，JB！所以你真的支持小賈斯丁（Justin Bieber）和毒品！

No, I do not support him! I was just trying to--

沒有，我沒有支持他！我只是想——

Did you just say him? You don't know if he's a guy for sure,

你剛說「他」嗎？你又不知道他一定是男生

you sexist! Why do you even hate girls so much, anyway?

性別歧視狂！你到底為什麼這麼討厭女生！

I don't! I love girls. I love girls to death!

我不討厭女生！我愛女生！我愛女生愛到死！

Wow, more death jokes. Good job, Ryan!

哇靠，又是有關死亡的笑話，幹得好啊雷恩！

Way to--

超讚——

(squabbling)

（吵架聲）

(grunting)

（咕噥聲）

There! Ebol..arsenic.

好了，伊波⋯⋯砷

Not Ebol--was it Ebola? It could've been Ebola.

不是伊波拉⋯⋯是伊波拉嗎？有可能是喔

Maybe not. Or was it arsenic?

還是是砷啊？

Well, now you really have seven days!

不管怎樣，現在你們真的只剩七天可以活！

Or seven seconds, depending on which one it was. I don't know.

或是七秒，看是哪個，我不知道

Why are there syringes next to me anyway?

是說為什麼我旁邊會有針筒啊

Well, which one is it? Is it Ebola or ars...

到底是哪個呢～是伊波拉還是ㄕ⋯⋯

...senic.

⋯⋯ㄣ

(thudding)

（重擊聲）

Oh, I guess it was arsenic. I guess this joke was in good taste after all.

噢，看來是砷囉！看來那個笑話開得不錯

Good taste? Just like this Twinkie!

不錯？就像這個 Twinkie！

Duuuuurrrrr.

哇哈哈

I just wanted to apologize about...

我想來道個歉⋯⋯

(gasps)

（驚訝聲）

(suspenseful music)

（懸疑的音樂）

Not again.

不，又來了！

Teehee!

嘻嘻

Wait a second, by making this video, doesn't it mean you're a butthurt person

等等，你拍這部影片不就代表你也是玻璃心嗎？

because you're butthurt from the butthurt people?

因為你因為玻璃心的人而感到玻璃啊

(Ryan) No, 'cause it wasn't all about the butthurt people.

不是，因為這不只是關於玻璃心的人

It was about the Twinkies too.

跟 Twinkie 也有關

(choking)

（噎到）

Are you choking?

你噎到了嗎？

(gagging)

（作嘔）

(Nigahiga) So thank you guys so much for watching.

謝謝大家的收看

If you want to see last week's video click the one on the left.

如果你想看上週的影片，請點左邊那部

If you want to see bloopers and behind-the-scenes,

想看幕後花絮的話

click the one on the right. And remember, if you don't want

點右邊那部影片，還有記得，如果你都不想做

to do any of those, you can just sing along with me. Ready?

那可以跟我一起唱噢！準備好了嗎？

Five, six, seven, eight.

五、六、七、吧

Bop, dop, blah, de, deh, dop...

巴巴巴拉拉拉噠噠噠～