So this week I decided to make Top 100 Things Not To Say On A First Date.

這個星期，我決定做「第一次約會千萬不能說的100件事情」

Make sure to leave a comment down below about which number you thought was the funniest,

記得在底下留言，告訴我們哪一項最有趣

subscribe if you're new, and don't forget:Press the like button.

如果你是第一次觀看我們的影片，記得按下訂閱和「喜歡」

New videos every Sunday. No Jugamos Juegos.

No Jugamos Juegos 每個星期天都會有新的影片

100) You look a lot different than your profile picture.

100)你和你個人檔案上的照片差好多

99) I just get constipated really easily. 98) You look so much like my ex.

99)我很容易便秘。 98)你和我前女友好像

97) Wait, so how much money do you make though? 96) My last relationship was a disaster. Woo!

97)等等，所以你賺多少錢? 96)我上一段感情簡直是場災難，哇~

95) I've only been charged twice. 94) Are you on the pill?

95)我只有上過警察局兩次。 94)你有在吃避孕藥嗎?

93) Who beat the case? I beat the case! 92) We can go back to my place once my parents

93)誰解決的? 我解決的! 92)我爸媽睡著的時候

are asleep. 91) What's the average time you make a guy

我們可以去我家。 91) 你平均都讓一個男生

wait? 90) I'll be right back, I gotta call my parole

等你多久? 90) 我馬上回來，我必須給我的假釋官打通電話

officer. 89) I just wonder what our children would

89) 我想知道我們的小孩會長得怎樣

look like together. 88) Do you want to see my Pokémon card collection?

88)你想看我收集的神奇寶貝卡嗎?

87) Don't Google me. 86) Is your sister single still?

87) 不要搜尋我。 86)你的姐姐還是單身嗎?

85) How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?

85)你要喝多少才會醉?

84) Yeah, I actually was...engaged last week. 83) You know, you're the first real girl I've

84) 耶....其實...我上週剛訂婚。 83)你知道嗎，你是我第一個

been on a date with. 82) My therapist says I get really attached

約會的女生。 82)我的醫生說我很依賴人。

to people. 81) I usually date models.

81) 我通常都和模特兒約會

80) I don't normally date black girls. 79) I think I hooked up with one of your friends.

80) 我平常是不會和黑人女生約會的。 79)我覺得我勾搭上了你其中一個朋友

78) I normally don't date Mexicans though. -I'm not Mexican.

78) 我平常是不會和墨西哥女生約會的。 我不是墨西哥人

77) My mom hates white girls. 76) Aren't all Hispanic people Mexican?

77)我媽討厭白人女性 76) 不是所有講西班牙語的人都是墨西哥人嗎?

-No. What do you mean?

不是。 你是什麼意思?

-No! 75) Yes they are.

不是! 75) 才不，他們是!

74) I didn't get my welfare check yet so...you might have to get all this.

74)我還沒拿到我的救濟金，所以...你可能要付所有的錢

73) Can we make this quick. I'm meeting someone after this.

73)我們可以趕快結束嗎? 我待會和別人還有約

72) She's a little bit hotter than you also. 71) This is fun. Gotta get back. Move on.

72)她也比你還要辣一點。 71)這很有趣，要趕快回去了，快啊

70) So is that like a Wonder-Bra?

70)那是像神奇胸罩的東西嗎?

69) So...what bra-size do you wear? 68) Could you please breathe through your nose!

69)那...你的內衣是穿多大的? 68)可以拜託你用鼻子呼吸好嗎!

67) People always confuse prison with jail. I've only been to one.

67)人們總是把拘留所和監獄搞混。我只待過其中一個

66) Did you see our waitress though? She's kinda hot.

66)你有看到我們的幫傭嗎? 她還滿辣的

65) My family actually has a history of mental illness.

65)我們家其實有遺傳性心理疾病

64) Are you a virgin? 63) Can we get married so I can get my green card?

64)你是處女嗎? 63)我們可以結婚嗎?這樣我才可以拿到我的綠卡

62) Mom? Yeah, I found someone. We'll be over

62)媽? 對，我找到人了。我們待會就會結束了

later, just make sure you have some clothes on.

你只要記得把衣服穿上

61) I actually have 13 toes. 60) The only reason I'm here is because I

61)事實上，我有13根腳趾頭。 60)我之所以會在這裡是因為

lost a bet. 59) I get $20 extra if I get you to come home

我打賭輸了。 59)如果你和我一起回家

with me. 58) We could split it.

我還會多贏20元。 58)我們可以平分

57) We're like boyfriend and girlfriend, right? 56) You'd be way cuter if you would just like grow

57)我們真的像是男女朋友吧? 56) 如果你把頭髮留長一點，

your hair out. 55) Stop what you're doing now...

你會更可愛。 55)夠了不要再這樣了...

54) ...and start looking better is what I'm saying. I'm trying to help you out, ok?

54)照我說的話，你會開始變得更好看。我是在幫你，好嗎?

53) Hopefully my ex doesn't interfere in this relationship.

53)希望我前女友不會干涉這段感情

52) Wait, so like, are those like, real? 51) Could you loan me $200 dollars?

52) 等一下，所以...這些是...是真的嗎? 51)你可以借我200元?

-What? 50) OK, $150.

什麼! 50)好吧，那150元就好

49) She's crazy. I had a restraining order.

49)她很瘋狂。我有個限制令

48) Can I touch them? -No.

48)我可以摸他們嗎? 不行。

47) She's literally crazy. 46) Like psychotic.

47)她真的很瘋狂。 46)就像是個精神病患一樣

45) She has to take pills every 30 minutes. 44) Yeah, well two. One's for the herpes...I

45)她每半小時就要吃一次藥。 44)對呀，還有兩種。一種藥是治療泡疹的...

didn't get it. 43) I'm a carrier.

我不太懂。 43)我就是那個帶原者

42) I'm pretty sure I'm straight. 41) Everyone has herpes.

42)我很清楚自己個性很直。 41) 每個人都有泡疹

-No, everyone does not. 40) I just get out of rehab again so...

才怪，不是每個人都會有。 40)我才剛戒完毒，所以...

39) This is my third time. I think it'll work. 38) I only asked you out because my parents

39)這已經是我第三次了，希望這次能成功。 38) 我吧你約出來是因為我爸媽認為

thought I was gay. -Are you serious?

我是個同性戀。 你是認真的嗎?

Yeah...unfortunately. 37) How much do you weigh?

唉...很不幸地是。 37)你體重多少?

36) What are you like 170? 35) 180?

36)你喜歡多重的? 170磅? 35)180磅?

34) Yeah, my ex, she mysteriously disappeared. They never found her body.

34)是啊，我前任女友就莫名其妙消失了。他的家人還沒找到她

33) And they never will. 32) How many guys have you been with?

33)他們也永遠找不到她。 32)你交過幾個男朋友?

31) How many people have you slept with? 30) More or less than 10 guys?

31)你跟幾個男人上床過? 30)10個男人以上或是以下?

29) I'm just looking for someone who can financially support me.

29)我只是在尋找經濟上可以支援我的人

28) More or less than 30? 27) How do you feel about role-playing?

28)比30多還是少? 27)你覺得角色扮演如何?

26) Wanna hear a funny rape joke? 25) How do you feel about cross-dressing?

26)想聽一個關於強暴的笑話嗎? 25)你覺得性別互換打扮如何?

24) I got to take this. This is my girlfriend. I'll be back.

24)我必須接這通電話，是我女朋友打來的，我馬上就會回來

Your girlfriend? 23) How do you feel about gonorrhea?

你的女朋友? 23)你覺得淋病如何?

22) --I'm going to go use the restroom really quick, ok?

22)我去一下廁所馬上就回來，可以嗎?

Ok, number one or number two? 21) I'm not allowed 500 feet within a school.

好，是小號還是大號? 21)我無法允許和學校距離500英呎

20) Do you want to come to my family reunion tomorrow?

20)你明天想來參加我們的家族聚會嗎?

19) Would you mind if I live-tweeted our date right now?

19)你會介意我現在發和我們約會有關的推文嗎?

18) What size are those? They're going to want to know.

18)你胸部多大? 他們現在就想知道

-Are you serious right now? I'll estimate.

你是認真的嗎? 我自己會估計

17) I want to move out. I just like living with my mom.

17)我想搬出去住。我只是喜歡和我媽一起住

16) I was thinking you could pay for dinner tonight.

16)我在想，你能不能付今晚的晚餐

15) I'll get the next one though. 14) --Hey

15)下一次換我付。 14)嗨～

Does your breath always smell like this? 13) I just don't have time for a job right

你聞起來總是這樣嗎? 13)我只是現在沒有時間工作

now. You know what I'm saying? 12) Wait, so just add me on Facebook right

你懂我的意思吧? 12)等一下，現在就加我臉書吧

now. Hold on, I'll do it actually cause I'm hard to find. Search options. Ohh, here we

等一等，我來就好，因為我的臉書不好找。搜尋選項。噢！在這

go. I'm right there. Friends! -Oh yay.

我的臉書是這個。加為朋友！噢耶

11) Wait, you want to put in a relationship though?

11)等等，你想要增加感情狀態嗎?

10) You sounded a lot skinnier on the phone. 9) I'll be back. I gotta go take a dump right

10)你在電話上的聲音聽起來更瘦。 9)我馬上回來。我去上大號

quick. Oh my goodness! 8) This is normally when I'm playing World

很快就好了。噢我的天啊！ 8)我玩魔獸世界是很正常的

of Warcraft. 7) Ugh! What the!

7)呃！見鬼了！

6) Hold this right quick. 5) I hate dogs.

6)迅速拿好這個。 5)我討厭狗

4) I just pictured you naked. Oops! 3) I was actually born a woman.

4)我只是想像了一下你裸體，哎喲！ 3)我內心其實是個女人

2) I think...I think I love you. You know what? You know what?

2)我覺得...我想我愛你。你知道嗎? 你懂嗎?

-No, I'm sorry. Will you marry me?

不，很抱歉。 你會嫁給我嗎?

-I can't do this. I'm sorry. Will you marry me? Don't walk...don't go away!

我不能這麼做，我很抱歉。 你會嫁給我嗎?不要走...不要離開！

Don't go! It was nice meeting you.

不要走！能遇見你真的很好

1) I know where you live.

1)我知道你住哪裡

I'm a grown man.

我是大人了