So in this video, we're going to cover nine of the most common mistakes you may be making that can kill your charisma and some quick fixes.

所以在這部影片中，我們要介紹毀了你魅力的九個常見錯誤以及一些補救方法。

Here we go.

開始吧。

First — not proactively introducing yourself.

第一：不主動介紹自己。

Many people feel uncomfortable when they enter into a new group.

很多人在進入新的團體時會感到不自在。

So in order to keep a low profile, they often offer a small hand wave or just stand there quietly — this is uncomfortable for everyone involved.

為了保持低調，他們經常扭捏地揮手或者就靜靜地站在那裡—這會讓團體中的大家覺得不自在。

So the next time that you find yourself entering or being pulled into a small group, make sure to make eye contact and introduce yourself to everyone there with the handshake.

所以下次當你在融入或被拉進一個小團體時，記得要看著大家介紹自己，並和所有人握手致意。

If they're particularly involved in the conversation, you can simply say, "I don't mean to interrupt but just wanted to introduce myself," which brings me to number two — not introducing your friends when you're in a new group isn't cool.

如果他們正在談話中，你可以說：「我不是故意要打斷你們，只是想自我介紹一下」這和第二個錯誤相關：在新團體中不介紹你的朋友，這很不 ok。

A simple, "Hey, this is my friend, Dave," goes a long way towards making everyone else feel more comfortable.

簡單一句：「嘿，這是我朋友戴夫」對於讓團體中的大家感到更輕鬆自在有意想不到的效果。

Third is talking about things that no one cares about.

第三：滔滔不絕地講沒人在意的事。

It's fine to mention that you had a weird dream, but as soon as you find yourself telling a three-minute story about it, you're probably boring people — the same goes for long speeches about anything that really only concerns you.

聊聊你做的怪夢是不錯，但當你發現你要花三分鐘講這個故事，你可能會讓大家厭煩—滔滔不絕地講只有你在乎的事也是同樣道理。

Like the quality of your tan, your car problems or what you had for dinner last night.

像是你日光浴的品質、車子的問題、或是昨天的晚餐。

And if you're unsure whether something only concerns you, it's probably because you're committing the fourth mistake — not soliciting feedback.

而如果你不確定什麼事是只有你在乎的，可能是因為你正犯下第四個錯誤：不要求回應。

You don't want to go on for minutes on end lecturing.

你不會想要不停的說教。

There should be opportunities for people to ask questions if they're truly engaged.

如果對方真的感興趣，他們應該要有發問的機會。

If they're only nodding or giving responses like, "Wow" or "jeez," then they may be uninterested.

如果他們僅僅是點頭，或是回答「哇」、「天啊」，那他們很可能沒興趣。

You might want to try pausing mid-story to ask the other person a question just to see if they ask you how that story ended or to find out that they were tuning you out the whole time.

你可以試著打斷故事，問對方一個問題，測試他會不會問你故事結局是什麼，或是發現他根本不想聽你說話。

Fifth is trailing off or mumbling.

第五：淡去或咕噥。

While you can pause mid story, you don't want to trail off mid-sentence because it makes you sound like you don't really respect whatever you're talking about.

你可以中途打斷自己的故事，但你不會想在話說到一半時淡去，因為這會讓你聽起來不重視你在說的事。

You see? No matter whether you're introducing yourself, telling a story or saying, "Thank you," to someone who held the door for you, do it in a full and clear voice.

看吧，無論是你在自我介紹、說故事、或是向幫你開門的人道謝，說話的時候要清楚大聲。

Sixth is answering questions with single words.

第六：用一個字回答問題。

If you find yourself consistently experiencing awkward silences, chances are that you're putting yourself in those situations with short answers.

如果你發現自己經常尷尬地冷場，很可能是你的簡答讓你陷入這種狀況。

If you give longer two to three sentence responses to those small talk questions, you're not necessarily over-sharing — you're giving the other person stuff to continue talking about, which is usually very appreciated.

如果你多講兩三句話來回答那些小問題，你並沒有白費唇舌—而是給對方繼續這個話題的素材，對方通常會很感謝你。

Also, when you ask questions, try to make the ones that can't simply be answered in a single word or at least follow up with questions that can't be.

同樣地，當你提問時，儘量問沒辦法只用簡答回答的問題，不然至少要接著問無法簡答的問題。

Seventh — whining. Complaining is just flat-out a bad habit.

第七：發牢騷。抱怨顯然就是一個壞習慣。

And when you whine to people around you without seeking their advice or looking to improve the situation, you just drive them away from you.

當你向周圍的人發牢騷，卻不向他們尋求建議或設法改善情況，你只是把他們從你身邊趕走罷了。

Eighth is not remembering names.

第八：不記對方名字。

Everyone has a hard time with names so saying that you're not good with names or not a name person is no excuse to not make an effort.

每個人在記名字時都會遇到困難，所以說自己不擅長記名字，或是有記名字障礙並不能作為不努力的藉口。

If you typically have a hard time which most people do, you can repeat the person's name when you hear it, again in conversation, and then finally, when saying goodbye to them.

如果你經常在這方面有障礙—和大多數人一樣—你可以在聽到對方名字的時候複述一次，對話中再說一次，最後，道別時再說一次。

Forcing yourself to say someone's name and then recall it twice in a short timespan makes it much more likely to stick.

強迫自己唸他的名字，接著在短時間內回想兩次，這麼做更有可能熟記。

Ninth is lacking principles.

第九：沒有原則。

We all experience massive social and psychological pressure to fit in so many of us hide the things that we believe or the things that make us weird.

為了合群，我們都在社交和心理層面有很大的壓力，所以很多人隱藏了自己所相信的或讓自己顯得奇怪的事。

And while this might keep us out of trouble, it usually just makes you totally forgettable.

雖然這麼做讓我們遠離麻煩，卻也讓你毫無特色、容易被遺忘。

It's the people who have convictions and live by them that generate the most respect and are the most charismatic.

有原則並且遵循它們的人，才是最被尊重、最有魅力的人。

It doesn't mean that you have to shove your beliefs down other people's throats but don't be afraid to get clear on your principles and stand up for them even when it's not the popular thing to do.

這並不是要你強迫大家接受你的信念，而是別怕樹立自己的原則，並且捍衛它們，即使這麼做並不受歡迎。

There you have it — the nine most common mistakes that people make with their charisma.

這些就是毀了你魅力的 9 個最常見錯誤。

If you like this video, I have a special request today — I'd like you to click the button and subscribe to Zeino's channel.

我今天有個特別的任務—如果你們喜歡這部影片，請幫我點 Zeino 的連結，並且訂閱。

Zeino animated this video — he reached out to me and offered to do it totally for free despite the fact that it took them hundreds of hours.

Zeino 製作這部影片的動畫，他和我連絡並且願意免費幫忙，儘管這花費他們幾百個小時。

And his dream was that the exposure would help him hit 5,000 subscribers on his channel.

他希望這次曝光可以幫他的頻道得到五千個訂閱。

So, if you would be so kind, please click the button, give him some love, and check out his other animations.

所以行行好，按這個連結，給他一點愛，也去看看他其他的動畫作品。

I know that if he does hit that 5,000 number, he will be over the moon.

我知道如果真的達到五千的目標，他一定會很開心。