Name: 川普覬覦古巴！MAGA 為小雞雞內鬨＆新教宗是同志？| 唐納休秀 (Trump Eyes Cuba Takeover, MAGA Brawls Over Micropenises & Is the New Ayatollah Gay? | The Daily Show)
Uploaded: 2026-03-24T02:37:32.000Z
Duration: 13 min 56 s
Description: 【看影片學英語】數萬部 YouTube 影片，搭配英漢字典即點即查，輕鬆掌握單字發音與用法，長久累積看電影不必再看字幕。

程度副詞

Free speech updates its terms and conditions.

言論自由更新了它的條款與細則。

And MAGA gets into a big fight over small penises.

So let's get into our ongoing coverage of the war in Iran.

所以我們來深入報導伊朗的戰爭。

Now, according to public polling, the war in Iran has less support at its outset than any previous American war.

現在，根據公開民調，伊朗戰爭開打時的支持度，比過去任何一場美國戰爭都要低。

And wars are almost always popular in the beginning.

而且戰爭一開始幾乎都會很受歡迎。

People are like, I don't know what's going on here, but for some reason, I'm on board.

大家會說，我不知道這裡發生什麼事，但不知道為什麼，我好像有點支持。

But President Trump doesn't need popular support or congressional consent to declare war because he's got a high-profile fan on his side.

但川普總統不需要民眾支持或國會同意就能宣戰，因為他有位高知名度的粉絲在他這邊。

President Trump made news when he suggested a former president he's been speaking with wishes he had done to Iran what Trump has done.

川普總統最近成為新聞焦點，因為他暗示一位他曾談話過的美國前總統，希望自己對伊朗做過川普所做的事。

I spoke to one of the former presidents who I actually like,

我跟其中一位我其實很喜歡的前總統談過，

他說，我希望我做了跟你一樣的事。

First of all, why is the president holding on to the desk like it's a safety bar and a Six Flags roller coaster?

首先，總統為什麼要抓著桌子，好像那是 Six Flags 雲霄飛車的安全桿一樣？

Just letting my French tips dry, you know?

只是讓我的 French tips 乾一下，你知道嗎？

But the big question is, which former president gave Trump props for the war in Iran?

但大問題是，哪位前總統稱讚川普在伊朗的戰爭？

I just want to ask you about something very interesting that you said twice today, that you talked to another former president about the Iran strikes.

我只是想問你一件你今天說了兩次、你跟另一位前總統談過伊朗襲擊的事。

我覺得你已經說了不少了，川普先生。

All I can say is that I was recently helping him prep for his Epstein Island deposition.

我只能說，我最近在幫他準備愛潑斯坦島的證詞。

By the way, I love how Peter Ducey is trying to play guess who with our toddler president.

對了，我超愛彼得·杜西試圖跟我們的幼兒總統玩猜謎遊戲。

If he was doing karaoke, would he be allowed to sing "All the Words in Gold Digger"?

如果他去唱卡拉OK，他可以唱「Gold Digger」這首歌的所有歌詞嗎？

and this may come as a shock, which is that maybe, just possibly, Trump pulled the whole thing out of his ass.

這可能會讓你很驚訝，那就是川普可能根本是亂掰的。

Leads to each of the four living former presidents all deny they have had any such conversations with President Trump.

導致四位在世的前總統都否認他們曾與川普總統有過任何這類對話。

The living former presidents denied talking to Trump.

在世的前總統否認和川普談話。

What's more likely, that Bill Clinton thinks starting a half-baked war in the Middle East was a good idea, or that Trump spent 20 minutes talking to a portrait of Grover Cleveland?

哪種情況比較有可能，是柯林頓認為在中東發動一個半吊子的戰爭是個好主意，還是川普花了20分鐘跟一幅葛羅佛·克里夫蘭的肖像說話？

Regardless of who he's been talking to about it, I'm just glad the president has his mind 100% completely focused on this daunting situation with Iran.

不管他跟誰談論這件事，我都很高興總統能百分之百專注於伊朗這個棘手的局勢。

I do believe I'll be the honor of having the honor of taking Cuba.

No new wars until you finish the war we just got you?

在你完成我們剛給你的戰爭之前，不要再發動新戰爭了？

By the way, what do you mean by taking Cuba?

對了，你說的奪取古巴是什麼意思？

I mean, whether I free it, take it, I think I could do anything I want with it.

我的意思是，不管我是解放它、佔領它，我覺得我對它想做什麼都可以。

I don't know what's worse, that he's talking like a supervillain or that he sounds so bored about it.

我不知道哪個更糟，是他像個超級反派一樣說話，還是他對這件事聽起來這麼無聊。

You should be cackling with lightning in the background when you say shit like that.

你說這種話的時候，背景應該要伴隨著閃電和狂笑才對。

Why are you sounding like Lexapro Luther over here?

你幹嘛在這裡聽起來像 Lexapro Luther？

這個世界是我的了，超人，我想。

But while Trump seems unengaged, some people in his administration are getting worked up.

但川普似乎無動於衷，他政府裡有些人卻很激動。

The head of the National Counterterrorism Center, Joe Kent, announced just hours ago that he is resigning immediately over the war in Iran.

國土安全部反恐中心主任 Joe Kent 剛剛宣佈，由於伊朗戰爭，他將立即辭職。

I mean, that would be even more damning if this guy wasn't an unqualified crackpot.

我的意思是，如果這傢伙不是個不合格的瘋子，那會更糟。

But it still has to shake up a president when one of your appointees resigns over your war.

但當你的一位被任命者因為你的戰爭而辭職，這肯定會讓總統感到震驚。

I read his tape, and I always thought he was a nice guy.

我看過他的錄音，我一直覺得他人很好。

But I always thought he was weak on security, very weak on security.

但我一直覺得他在安全方面很弱，非常弱。

Everyone knows the qualifications for running the National Counterterrorism Center go nice guy, brings muffins to the morning meeting, and

大家都知道，領導國土安全部反恐中心的要求是，人要好，早上開會時會帶鬆餅，還有

then all the way down the list, good on security.

然後一路往下看，安全方面也很棒。

But this split is dividing the entire MAGA movement right now.

但這個分裂正在讓整個 MAGA 運動分裂。

There's the anti-war side with people like Joe Rogan, Tucker Carlson, and Megyn Kelly.

有像 Joe Rogan、Tucker Carlson 和 Megyn Kelly 這樣的反戰派。

And there's the pro-war side with Sean Hannity, Lindsey Graham, and Mark Levin.

還有像 Sean Hannity、Lindsey Graham 和 Mark Levin 這樣的挺戰派。

And as you can imagine, the quality of an internal MAGA debate is highly intellectual.

就像你想像的，MAGA 內部辯論的品質非常高。

On the X platform, Mark Levin posted, "Poor Megyn Kelly, an emotionally unhinged, lewd, and petulant wreck.

在 X 平臺上，Mark Levin 發文說：「可憐的 Megyn Kelly，一個情緒失控、下流又任性的殘骸。

She's completely revealed and destroyed herself." In response, Megyn Kelly posted, "Micropenis Mark thinks he has the monopoly on lewd.

她完全暴露並毀了自己。」對此，Megyn Kelly 發文說：「小雞雞 Mark 覺得他壟斷了下流。

He doesn't like it when women like me fight back because of his micropenis." Oh.

他不喜歡像我這樣的女人因為他的小雞雞而反擊。」喔。

Feels like I'm at the Oxford Debate Club.

Now, it's not a good look for President Trump to have his followers fighting so publicly over their micropenises.

現在，川普總統讓他的支持者公開爭論他們的小雞雞，這場面不太好看。

Donny, why don't you step in and heal the divide?

Donny，你為什麼不出來化解紛爭呢？

President Trump defended Mark Levin, posting that he is somewhat under siege by other people with far less intellect, capability, and

川普總統為 Mark Levin 辯護，發文說他正受到其他智力、能力

和愛國心遠不如他的人的攻擊。

In response, Megyn Kelly posted that Mark Levin went running to daddy about his micropenis.

對此，Megyn Kelly 發文說 Mark Levin 跑去跟爸爸告狀他的小雞雞。