Name: 矽谷 | 第五季 | 健陽的精彩時刻！ (Silicon Valley | Season 5 | The Best of Jian-Yang)
Uploaded: 2026-02-17T18:15:03.000Z
Duration: 8 min 5 s

Would you please explain why we each found some random Chinese guy asleep in our beds?

可以請你解釋一下，為什麼我們每個人的床上都躺著一個隨便的中國人嗎？

Do you think Erlik would want your guys here?

你覺得 Erlik 會希望你們的人在這裡嗎？

已經好幾個月沒人聽過 Ehrlich 的消息了。

I'm gonna drag your cousin the fuck out of my lair.

But Jian Yang is a very good friend and very smart.

但 Jian Yang 是個很要好的朋友，而且非常聰明。

I want him to be the leader of the house and control all of the friends.

我希望他當這個家的領導者，掌控所有朋友。

I mean, maybe a skilled attorney could make a case that in the absence of an existing will, this would serve as one in the case of Bachmann's death.

我的意思是，也許一個有經驗的律師可以主張，在沒有現存遺囑的情況下，這在他死後可以作為一份遺囑。

But as far as I can tell, the guy is not dead.

Do you happen to have death certificate or any.

你有死亡證明書或任何東西嗎？

So I want to ship a dead body from China.

所以我想從中國運送一具屍體。

But it's hard to find a white body in China, especially fat like Eric.

但在中國很難找到白人的屍體，尤其是像 Eric 這麼胖的。

So I buy a fat white cadaver from Cincinnati Medical School.

所以我就從辛辛那提醫學院買了一具胖白人的屍體。

But to ship it to China, then switch a box, then ship back.

但要運到中國，再換個箱子，再運回來。

It's just like Eric, my corrupt uncle send a death certificate from China.

就像我那貪汙的叔叔從中國寄來死亡證明一樣。

Because a pig is almost like a fat human.

Mr. Jian, there's absolutely no need to display the deceased remains.

簡先生，完全沒必要展示遺體。

Eric Bachmann is a cremated into ashes and I put it in bucket.

Eric Bachmann 被火化成骨灰，我把它放在桶子裡。

So I have a house and a 10% of pie paper.

所以我有一棟房子和一張 10% 的 Pied Piper 股份證明。

In the absence of any next of kin, I will approve you.

如果沒有其他親屬，我會準許你。

But before you can distribute any of his assets into your personal possession, you are required to settle all claims against the estate.

但在你將他的任何資產據為己有之前，你必須結清所有對遺產的債權。

So I got a house and a 10% Pied Piper Yang.

所以我拿到了一棟房子和 10% 的 Pied Piper Yang。

There better not be a Chinaman in my bed.

Big mortgage, seven credit cards, not even one with miles Fucking loser.

大筆房貸、七張信用卡，沒有一張有里程數，真是個該死的魯蛇。

It almost not worth to take his house from him.

Jian Yang，你不能這樣把我們趕出去。

Jian Yang, are you copying all those companies for the Chinese markets?

Jian Yang，你是不是為了中國市場在抄襲那些公司？

你從來沒有回我的電話，先生。

You mean the hundreds of voicemails you've left where you just called me a terrible CEO with no dick?

你是指你留下的數百通語音訊息，裡面你只說我是個爛透了的無雞雞的 CEO 嗎？

You need to make a deal with my companies.

Spurious knockoffs of legitimate American businesses.

那些都是仿冒正派美國企業的劣質仿冒品。

新的 Expedia、新的 Snapchat、新的 Zillow。

But for Chinese market, it's a very sophisticated strategy.

但對中國市場來說，這是一種非常高明的策略。

Look, taking existing companies and just calling them new isn't sophisticated.

聽著，把現有的公司拿來，然後就叫它們新的，這並不高明。

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矽谷 | 第五季 | 健陽的精彩時刻！ (Silicon Valley | Season 5 | The Best of Jian-Yang)

sophisticated

random

circumstance

legitimate