Name: 競標全新拍賣品！深夜秀慈善拍賣 | 眾議院通過「淋浴法案」 (Bid On NEW Items In The Late Show's Charity Auction | House Passes The SHOWER Act)
Uploaded: 2026-01-18T17:33:41.000Z
Duration: 5 min 47 s

Tonight, tonight we got two fantastic guests as always.

今晚，今晚我們有兩位超棒的嘉賓，一如往常。

But I'm particularly excited about our two guests tonight.

但我特別期待今晚的兩位嘉賓。

One is one of my favorite actors from Starfleet, Star Trek, Starfleet Academy.

其中一位是我最喜歡的演員，來自 Starfleet、Star Trek、Starfleet Academy。

And the great writer director Ryan Coogler will be over here talking about sinners and some other stuff.

而超棒的編劇兼導演 Ryan Coogler 則會在這邊，聊聊《罪人》和其他一些東西。

Now, folks, if you watch the show, you may have heard the late show will be going to a farm upstate in May.

各位，如果你有看節目，可能會聽說，Late Show 五月要去紐約州北部的一個農場。

And since we'll be moving out of the Ed Sullivan Theater at that time, we thought it might be a good idea to sell off some of the great stuff that we've acquired during our decade here at the Sullivan and then donate the proceeds to Jose Andres World Central Kitchen, which is a fantastic organization that feeds people in times of crisis.

由於那時候我們會搬離 Ed Sullivan Theater，所以我們覺得把我們在 Sullivan 這十年來累積的一些很棒的東西賣掉，然後把所得捐給 Jose Andres 的 World Central Kitchen，這是一個很棒的組織，能在危機時刻餵飽人們，這會是個好主意。

Now, back before the holidays, I was joined by Paul Rudd, star of both Ant Man.

回到假期前，Paul Rudd 加入了我，他是 Ant Man 的明星。

Star of both Ant man and your aunt's sexual fantasies.

And we launched a home shopping segment to auction off artifacts from the late show as well as some great items Paul contributed, though he did refuse to sell the painting in his attic that decays while he remains young.

我們推出了一個居家購物單元，拍賣來自 Late Show 的文物，以及 Paul 提供的一些很棒的物品，不過他拒絕賣掉他閣樓裡那幅在他保持年輕時會腐爛的畫。

And I'm happy to say thanks to the generosity of you good people out there, that auction raised an impressive grand total of $169,727.99.

我很高興地說，多虧了各位的慷慨，這次拍賣總共籌得了令人印象深刻的 169,727.99 美元。

And tonight I am announcing that I, Stephen Colbert, will personally be matching and thereby doubling that $27.99.

今晚我要宣佈，我 Stephen Colbert，將親自加碼並加倍那 27.99 美元。

And because of the incredible response to this wonderful auction, we are now adding even more Late show memorabilia to our auction site@colbertlateshow.com eBay or, or that little thing right there.

而且因為這次精彩拍賣的迴響太好了，我們要在我們的拍賣網站 @colbertlateshow.com eBay，或是，或是這裡這個小東西上，再加碼更多 Late Show 的紀念品。

As of right now, we are selling some great pieces of Late show wardrobe, like several Armani and Zegna suits that I wore on the show and signed and the jacket I wore when I played Hungry for Power Games host Julius Flickerman, the outfit I wore when I played Chicago and Donnie Franks, including Fanny Pac and Goatee.

就在此刻，我們正在拍賣一些很棒的 Late Show 服裝，像是幾套我在節目上穿過的 Armani 和 Zegna 西裝，上面還有簽名，還有我扮演 Hungry for Power Games 主持人 Julius Flickerman 時穿的夾克，以及我扮演 Chicago 和 Donnie Franks 時穿的服裝，包括 Fanny Pac 和 Goatee。

And if you're a true fashion hound, we're even selling the Corn man suit that has been worn many times on the show, including once by Oscar nominated actor Michael Shannon.

如果你是真正的時尚迷，我們甚至還在拍賣 Corn man 的套裝，這套裝裝在節目上穿過很多次，包括一次由奧斯卡提名演員 Michael Shannon 穿著。

Is this the role that got him the Oscar nomination?

這是讓他獲得奧斯卡提名的角色嗎？

這是讓他失去奧斯卡的那個角色嗎？

I don't know, whatever it says down here or go to that thing right there to bid on these items for a great cause.

我不知道，就看下面寫什麼，或是去那裡標這些物品，做一件很有意義的事。

There are a lot of things about this show that I'm going to miss, mostly the people I work with and the people I get to do it for every night.

這個節目有很多我會想念的地方，主要是跟我一起工作的人，還有我每晚為之服務的觀眾。

One thing I will not miss that much is the news, because it's so dumb, it hurts.

有一件事我不會太想念，那就是新聞，因為它太蠢了，蠢到讓人受不了。

With all the problems, the United States has heavily armed federal agents attacking citizens in the streets.

在這麼多問題中，美國卻有全副武裝的聯邦探員在街上攻擊民眾。

Congress has turned its attention to President Trump's second first priority by advancing legislation to loosen federal efficiency standards for shower heads.

國會將注意力轉向川普總統的第二個首要任務，推動立法放寬淋浴頭的聯邦效率標準。

Grandpa, what did we do when our nation was falling into fascism?

爺爺，當我們的國家走向法西斯時，我們做了什麼？

We made sure the showers were strong enough to penetrate every president who isn't limber enough to wipe.

我們確保淋浴的水夠強，能穿透所有不夠靈活而無法擦拭的總統。

No, it was a wet little room where we went into to cry.

不，那是一個潮濕的小房間，我們進去哭泣。

The bill has called the Saving Homeowners from over Regulation with exceptional rinsing or Shower Act.

這項法案被稱為「節省屋主免受過度監管的卓越沖洗或淋浴法案」。

Umbrella Man Banana, one of the Republican sponsors of the bill, emphasized the importance of consumer choice, saying, if they want to nozzle the dribbles on their head, well, then go get one of those.

這項法案的共和黨發起人之一，Umbrella Man Banana，強調了消費者選擇的重要性，他說，如果他們想要在頭上噴水，那就去買一個吧。

If you want something that slices an orange, well, then go get one of those.

如果你想要一個可以切橘子的，那就去買一個吧。

No, definitely don't get the orange slicing one.

不，絕對不要買那個切橘子的。

That's why Gillette had to recall their five blade bidet.

這就是為什麼 Gillette 得要召回他們的五刀片沖洗器。

The lubricating strip did not help at all.

And we'll be right back with Paul Giamatti.

我們馬上回來，請到 Paul Giamatti。

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競標全新拍賣品！深夜秀慈善拍賣 | 眾議院通過「淋浴法案」 (Bid On NEW Items In The Late Show's Charity Auction | House Passes The SHOWER Act)

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