Name: 航空旅行的痛苦加劇！ | FIFA 的假和平獎 | 美國人需要減重 1350 億磅！ (Air Travel Pain Intensifies | FIFA's Fake Peace Prize | Americans Need To Lose 135 Billion Pounds)
Uploaded: 2025-11-17T17:16:25.000Z
Duration: 10 min 40 s

Welcome, welcome one and all in here, out there, Mr. And Mrs.

歡迎，歡迎各位來到這裡、來到外面，美國的先生女士們

America and all the ships at sea to the Late Show.

以及海上所有船隻，來到《The Late Show》。

我是你們的主持人，Stephen Colbert。

Folks, I hope I don't need to remind you that here in the Ed Sullivan Theater, I am the law.

各位，我希望我不用提醒你們，在這裡的 Ed Sullivan Theater，我就是法律。

Mostly because there's no federal government right now.

主要是因為現在沒有 federal government。

It's day 37 of the shutdown, making it the longest in US history.

這是關閉的第37天，創下 US history 新紀錄。

That's the nice thing about it being the longest.

The shutdown has already wreaked havoc on air travel, and

這次關閉已經對 air travel 造成嚴重影響，而且

that havoc is about to get even re because air traffic controllers aren't being paid.

這種影響還要更大了，因為 air traffic controllers 沒拿到薪水。

And as a result, many of them aren't showing up to work.

結果就是，很多人都不來上班了。

So many, in fact, that the FAA is forcing airlines to cut 10% of their flights at the nation's busiest airports.

實際上，人數多到 FAA 正在強制 airlines 削減全國最繁忙 airports 的 10% flights。

So, yeah, unfortunately, maybe time to try your new favorite airline, the bus.

所以，唉，很不幸，也許是時候試試你最喜歡的新 airline，就是 bus 了。

You know their slogan, the bathroom door is stuck open these.

你知道他們的標語，那個廁所門卡住打不開。

These cancelled flights are just going to add to airport frustration.

這些被取消的 flights 只會增加 airport frustration。

Already in Houston, the security line snaked all the way around and out of the building as TSA wait times there have exceeded three hours to which America's dad said, well, well, well, whose leaving for the airport too early now.

在 Houston，security line 已經繞了整個 building 一圈又一圈，TSA 的 wait times 甚至超過了三個小時，對此 America's dad 說，哼哼哼，現在是誰太早去 airport 了？

Okay, no, we'll make it through the line and still have time to grab a cup of the worst coffee in the world.

好的，不，我們會順利通過隊伍，還有時間去買杯世界上最難喝的咖啡。

And you said I was crazy when I was stomping around the house being crazy.

你還說我瘋了，我當時在家裡瘋狂地走來走去。

So if you're traveling for Thanksgiving, you might want to leave now.

所以如果你是感恩節旅行，你可能現在就該出發了。

Or you could just stay here in New York City where we just elected a new mayor.

或者你也可以留在紐約市，我們剛選出了一位新市長。

That race, a lot of excitement, a lot of excitement for the new mayor with the kids, the young cdc.

那場選舉，大家都很興奮，新市長讓年輕的 CDC 們也很興奮。

That race was just one of many defeats for Trump backed candidates on Tuesday, including the governor races, including the governor races in New Jersey and Virginia and Prop 50 in California.

那場選舉只是川普支持的候選人在週二眾多敗選中的一場，包括紐澤西和維吉尼亞的州長選舉，以及加州的 50 號提案。

Yesterday at a breakfast for Republican senators, Trump tried to downplay the electoral spanking last night.

昨天在共和黨參議員的早餐會上，川普試圖淡化昨晚的選舉失利。

But I don't think it was good for Republicans.

我不確定那對任何人來說是不是好事。

But we had an interesting evening and we learned a lot.

不過我們有個有趣的夜晚，也學到很多。

Yeah, that sounds like what you'd say after A Tinder date where someone had to go to the hospital.

嗯，聽起來就像是 Tinder 約會後，對方還得去醫院的感覺。

For example, don't do hand stuff after Wingstop.

像是，吃完 Wingstop 後不要做手部動作。

Of course, elections aren't the only things giving Trump the sads.

當然，選舉不是唯一讓川普不開心的事。

Last month he lost the Nobel Peace Prize.

上個月他錯失了諾貝爾和平獎。

But yeah, I know, that's very kind of you to seem like you care, but

但對啦，我知道，你這樣好像很關心，真是太好了，不過

he's got a buddy who's going to fix it for him.

We're talking about FIFA President Johnny Infantino, seen here saying, this is the ball.

我們在說的是 FIFA 主席 Johnny Infantino，他看來就像在說，這就是球。

昨天，你知道我講義大利語嗎？

Yesterday, FIFA, whose job you will recall is to take bribes and regulate soccer, announced a new peace prize that FIFA will be awarding at the World cup draw in Washington.

昨天，FIFA，你還記得他們的職責就是收賄賂和管理足球，宣佈了一個新的和平獎，將在華盛頓的世界盃抽籤儀式上頒發。

It's given exclusively to world leaders who stop wars using only their feet.

該獎項僅頒發給那些僅憑雙腳就能停止戰爭的世界領導人。

So it really looks like a made up award just to give Trump something.

所以這看起來就像是為了給川普頒獎而設的獎項。

But when asked to confirm that Trump will receive the award, Infantino said, On the 5th of December, you will see, man, it is going to be hilarious when they give it to Obama.

但當被問及是否確認川普將獲獎時，Infantino 表示，12 月 5 日，你們就會看到，天啊，他們把獎頒給歐巴馬的時候會非常搞笑。

It's clear that this week's Democratic shellacking has Trump feeling down, but

顯然，本週民主黨的慘敗讓川普心情低落，但是

he's cheering himself up with his favorite activity, sticking a straw into his supporters and sucking out cash like a Capri Sun.

他正透過他最喜歡的活動來振奮自己，那就是往支持者身上插吸管，像喝 Capri Sun 一樣吸走現金。

Tuesday night, Trump sent out a fundraising email with the subject line, it's Taco Tuesday with an AI generated Trump eating tacos.

週二晚上，川普發送了一封募款電子郵件，主旨是「Taco Tuesday」，內容是 AI 生成的川普吃著玉米餅。

We're talking authentic to cos, not the cheap ones you get at to ko Bleh.

我們說的是正宗的，不是你在連鎖店買到的那種廉價品。

Speaking of eating in the Oval Office today, Trump gathered with the leaders of major pharmaceutical companies to announce a deal to lower the price of popular weight loss drugs.

說到在總統辦公室用餐，今天川普召集了各大製藥公司的領導人，宣佈了一項降低熱門減重藥價格的協議。

This is huge news, but in a few months it will be dramatically smaller news.

這消息非常重大，但幾個月後就會變得不那麼重要了。

You know, if this can help more people get healthier, I'm all for it.

你知道，如果這能幫助更多人變得更健康，我非常贊成。

But what I'm not in favor of is him going through all of the staffers in the room and telling the world if they're on the medication.

但我不贊成的是他去問在場所有員工，然後告訴全世界他們有沒有在用藥。

Food and Drug Administrator Commissioner Marty McCary and Director of Medicare Chris Plump.

食品藥物管理局局長 Marty McCary 和醫療保險總監 Chris Plump。

Where's Steve Cheiro, head of public relations for the White House.

白宮公共關係主管 Steve Cheiro 在哪裡？

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航空旅行的痛苦加劇！ | FIFA 的假和平獎 | 美國人需要減重 1350 億磅！ (Air Travel Pain Intensifies | FIFA's Fake Peace Prize | Americans Need To Lose 135 Billion Pounds)

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