Name: 同時...切諾維斯的狗寶寶 | 大象襲擊雜貨店 | 復古保險套 (Meanwhile... Chenoweth's Dog Baby | Elephant Raids Grocery Store | Vintage Condom)
Uploaded: 2025-06-18T16:59:43.000Z
Duration: 6 min 17 s

Give it up for Lewis Cato and the Late Show Band!

為劉易斯-卡託和晚間秀樂隊鼓掌！

Folks, if you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time right over there.

朋友們，如果你們看過節目，就會知道我大部分時間都在那邊。

Shaping the day's new steel into a topical story body with a double coach line and placed perforation leather seats, illuminated tread plates and teak rear decking to offer you the sleek and stately Rolls-Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe that is my monologue.

將當日的新鋼材塑造成具有主題故事的車身，配以雙層車身線條、打孔真皮座椅、發光踏板和柚木後部裝飾板，為您提供時尚莊重的勞斯萊斯幻影Drophead轎跑車，這就是我的獨白。

But sometimes, just sometimes, folks, I prop a discarded refrigerator box on a skateboard I stole from a distracted tween and putter off in the Claude Hopper limousine of news that is my segment.

但有時候，只是有時候，朋友們，我會把一個廢棄的冰箱盒子放在從一個心不在焉的小男孩那裡偷來的滑板上，然後在我的新聞欄目--克勞德-霍珀的豪華轎車裡蹣跚而行。

其中的任何部分都可能有所幫助。

Meanwhile, in celebrity pet news, proud puppy parent Kristen Chenoweth wants to start telling people her dog came out of her vagina.

與此同時，在名人寵物新聞方面，驕傲的小狗父母克里斯汀-切諾維斯（Kristen Chenoweth）想開始告訴人們她的狗是從她的陰道里出來的。

And based on the dog's expression, he just learned that himself.

從這隻狗的表情來看，它也是剛剛知道的。

By the way, Chenoweth's dog is a service animal who helps her manage her anxiety.

順便說一句，切諾維斯的狗是一種服務性動物，可以幫助她控制焦慮。

Unlike my dog, Benny, who constantly brings me studies about climate change.

不像我的狗本尼，它經常給我帶來有關氣候變化的研究報告。

關於冰蓋的話題就到此為止吧。

Meanwhile, Nintendo, it's what your grandma calls Pikachu.

與此同時，任天堂，它就是你奶奶口中的皮卡丘。

This is an exciting time for many because last week, eager gamers all over the world lined up for the midnight release of the Nintendo Switch 2, which has a new game chat feature that allows players to communicate with friends and family while playing a game.

對許多人來說，這是一個令人興奮的時刻，因為上週，世界各地的熱心玩家都在排隊等待午夜發售的任天堂 Switch 2，它有一個新的遊戲哈拉功能，允許玩家在玩遊戲時與朋友和家人交流。

Perfect for anyone who's ever said, I love playing Grand Theft Auto, but I wish grandma could see me run over all these hookers.

對於那些曾經說過 "我喜歡玩《俠盜獵車手》，但我希望奶奶能看到我碾過這些妓女 "的人來說，這款遊戲再合適不過了。

您能在 Switch 2 上玩這款遊戲嗎？

Meanwhile, last week, a hungry wild elephant raided a grocery store in Thailand and apparently caused very little damage.

與此同時，上週，一頭飢餓的野象襲擊了泰國的一家雜貨店，但顯然只造成了很小的損失。

That is, until he found out he had to push a button just to get someone to unlock the deodorant.

直到他發現自己必須按一個按鈕才能讓別人打開除臭劑。

Meanwhile, over in England, a lost dog has returned home after swimming to an island on a 100-mile journey.

與此同時，在英國，一隻走失的狗在游到一個小島後，經過 100 英里的旅程回到了家中。

And I would swim 100 miles and I would swim 100 more just to be the dog who swam 200 miles.

我會遊 100 英里，我還會再遊 100 英里，只為成為那隻遊了 200 英里的狗。

Mint has moved forward with plans to kill the penny.

造幣廠已開始實施取消便士的計劃。

Meanwhile, Pornhub has suspended service in France in protest of a new law that will require porn companies to verify the age of visitors even though France is Pornhub's second largest market behind the U.S.

與此同時，Pornhub 暫停了在法國的服務，以抗議一項要求色情公司核實訪問者年齡的新法律，儘管法國是 Pornhub 僅次於美國的第二大市場。

The French have loved erotica since the dawn of moving pictures.

自從有了電影，法國人就愛上了情色電影。

Who could forget the classic Lumiere brothers' film, Horny Train Rails Station?

誰會忘記盧米埃爾兄弟的經典影片《好色列車站》？

You'll like that joke later when you look it up.

等你以後查資料的時候，你會喜歡這個笑話的。

Meanwhile, a Dutch museum is displaying a 200-year-old condom.

與此同時，荷蘭一家博物館正在展出一個有 200 年曆史的保險套。

You may have noticed right on the side there, there's a little drawing on the side.

你可能已經注意到了，就在側面有一幅小畫。

That's because the condom features an erotic etching.

這是因為保險套上有色情蝕刻圖案。

Featuring an erotic etching for her confusion.

為她的困惑繪製了一幅情色蝕刻畫。

I got a feel for the guy whose job it was to draw on the condom.

我對那個在安全套上畫畫的人有了感覺。

Hey, Mom and Dad, remember when you said that art school was a waste of time?

嘿，爸媽，還記得你們說藝術學校是浪費時間嗎？

Well, guess who's the new in-house etcher at the Extremely Loose Condom Factory?

猜猜誰是 "極松保險套工廠 "的新任內部蝕刻師？

我們不可能在哥倫比亞廣播公司播出這個節目。

The condom features, as you can see, an erotic etching depicting a partially undressed nun pointing at the erect genitals of three clergymen, as well as the phrase, Voilà mon choix!

如您所見，保險套上有一幅色情蝕刻畫，描繪了一位半裸的修女指著三位神職人員勃起的生殖器，還有一句話：Voilà mon choix（我的選擇）！

I gotta say, condoms that feature a full cartoon panel risk ruining the mood a little.

我得說，帶有完整卡通圖案的保險套可能會破壞一點氣氛。

哦，那個史努比，他總是開著。

Experts explain the condom is probably made from a sheep's appendix.

專家解釋說，保險套可能是用羊的闌尾製成的。

If you want to have sex, do not think about this at all.

如果你想做愛，根本不要考慮這個問題。

We'll be right back with Coleman Domingo.