Thank you.

謝謝。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Thank you for all your support.

感謝你們的支持。

It's been great.

這很棒。

It's been really great.

這真的很棒。

Like I'm finally, I'm like quasi-famous now.

就像我現在終於準出名了一樣。

Nothing's really changed.

其實什麼都沒變。

I might get a free appetizer at select PF Chang's.

我可能會在 PF Chang 餐廳獲得一份免費開胃菜。

That's about it.

僅此而已。

Nothing has really changed.

其實什麼都沒變。

I was still using Tinder up until like a year ago.

直到一年前，我還在用 Tinder。

This is a true story.

這是一個真實的故事。

But now I realize I got a whole new set of issues on Tinder.

但現在我意識到，我在 Tinder 上遇到了全新的問題。

Like now when I do match with a girl, she doesn't believe that it's me.

現在，當我和一個女孩配對時，她不相信那是我，

Like, "Ew, that's not you. You're not that guy from this thing and that thing."

就像「痾，那不是你。你不是這個那個人。 」

I'm like, who the fuck is using me as a fake profile?

我就想，誰他媽會假冒我？

You got to dig real deep to use me, man.

你必須深入挖掘才能假冒我，老兄。

I feel like there are so many better choices out there.

我覺得有很多更好的選擇。

One time my agent told me that I had a good look and I'm like, "Thanks, dude, I appreciate that.'

有一次，我的經紀人告訴我，我長得很好看，我就說：「謝謝老兄，我很感激。」

But then it took me years to realize that having a good look is totally different than being good-looking.

但後來我花了很多年才意識到，有好的外表和長得好看是完全不同的。

I still don't know what the fuck it means.

我還是不知道那是什麼意思。

And look, I'm not being self-deprecating. OK?

聽著，我不是在自我貶低。

That's Hollywood talk.

這是好萊塢的說法。

I don't listen to that shit.

我不聽那些鬼話。

I understand that in real life, I'm like super good-looking if you're into anime.

在現實生活中，我明白這一點，我就像是個超級帥哥，如果你喜歡動漫的話。

You got to get in where you fit in, people.

你得找到自己的定位。

One time I went over to the girl's house, she has this like Naruto anime poster in her bedroom, I knew I was fucking that night.

有一次，我去了那個女孩的家，她的臥室裡有一張火影忍者的動漫海報，我知道那天晚上我有砲可以打了。

You gotta know your demo, people.

你得了解自己的定位，大家。

Asian people, we don't need Tinder anymore, we just go to BTS concerts.

亞洲人，我們不再需要Tinder，我們只去聽BTS演唱會。

That's how we do that parking lot pimping.

這就是我們在停車場搭訕的方式。

I've been dating a lot of tall girls lately because it makes me look successful.

我最近和很多高個子女孩約會，因為這讓我看起來很成功。

No, no.

不，不。

I think tall women are beautiful but some of them like to wear heels.

我覺得高個子女性很美，但有些女性喜歡穿高跟鞋。

That's just disrespect.

這完全不尊重。

Like "You're already five inches taller than me, why the fuck are you wearing heels?"

「你已經比我高出五英寸了，你他媽為什麼穿高跟鞋？」

And she's like, "It makes my ass look better."

她說：「這樣我的屁股就好看多了。」

I'm like, "Your ass is at my eye level right now, neither of us look good, OK? I look like a child and you look like a child molester."

我說：「你的屁股跟我的眼精一樣搞，這讓我們都看起來都不太好。 我看起來像個孩子，而你看起來像個兒童性騷擾者。」

Last time I took a tall girl to this concert.

上一次上次我帶一個高個子女孩去聽演唱會。

I don't know if you guys know this but apparently tall people have fun at concerts.

我不知道你們是否知道這一點，但顯然高個子在演唱會上很開心。

Are you guys aware of that?

你們知道嗎？

I'm 5'5.

我身高 5 英尺 5 英寸。(約167公分）

I just go to concert to smell other people's armpits.

我去演唱只是為了聞別人的腋下。

I'm like what the fuck's point of this?

這有什麼意義？

She was having a time in her life, doing what tall people do at concerts, you know?

她玩得很開心，做著高個子在演唱會上做的事情，你知道嗎？

Jumping around, obstructing other people's views, seeing everything.

跳來跳去，妨礙別人的視線，什麼都看得到。

I was frustrated.

我很沮喪。

I had enough.

我受夠了。

So I just looked up at her, I was like, "Hey, pick me up.

於是我就抬頭看著她說：「嘿，把我抱起來。

It was bullshit. I pay for these tickets, OK? I want to see Billie Eilish too. Come on."

這簡直沒道理。 這些門票我付錢的，好嗎？ 我也想看怪奇比莉。 拜託。」