Have you ever met someone and thought to yourself, man, I could spend the rest of my life with this person?
Then, as you get to know them over a few years or maybe it’s only been a few months, but the challenges you face start tearing you guys apart.
They call these growing pains, but when does the pain stop and why does it feel like you’re shrinking instead?
Are you wondering where you and your partner went wrong?
Here are 10 common relationship mistakes.
One, you take your partner for granted.
Psychologists Susan Whitburn says it’s too easy to dismiss the people you’re closest to because you expect them to be there no matter what.
Although it’s great that you trust your partner to stick around on the bad days, it doesn’t mean you have to force them to sync with you each time.
In the long run, selfish behavior only results to resentment.
Two, you overstep your partner’s boundaries.
No one’s perfect, not even your soulmate, so when you don’t leave room in your relationship to show your flaws, it can easily lead to relationship dissatisfaction.
Professor Lee from the University of Toronto, (shout out to our Canadians) discovered that people who view relationships as a perfect unity have a worse relationship than those who see it as a journey of growing.
Three, you play the assumption game.
Have you ever been upset because someone jumped to the wrong conclusion?
Dating and relationship coach, Broke Bergman said that this happens all the time in a relationship when we assume we know what our partners need, but sometimes, not knowing can be humbling and asking never hurts.
Four, you and your partner avoid conflict.
There’s a difference between a happy relationship and being happy every day, and more often than not, establishing that healthy fulfilling relationship includes fighting.
Five, you obsess and fight over everything.
On the other hand, if you swing to extreme and get mad over the small details, this can also be bad for the relationship.
Before reacting, take a step back and consider whether your partner’s actions are true deal breakers.
Six, your happiness depends too much on being with your partner.
Asking for help is good when you're being honest about your needs, but if you need to consult your partner before making every decision, you’ll forget to be your own person.
Seven, you constantly question your relationship.
Do you think about what problems your relationship will face before they actually occur?
Constantly ruminating will only bring you to a dark place when you could be using that time instead to talk things out with your partner.
Eight, you keep score in your relationship.
Psychology professor and relationship expert Marissa Cohan, sees this one happen a lot.
When you obsess over keeping things equal with your partner, whether it means exchanging gifts or doing favors, you no longer focus on the relationship.
Instead, it’s about you.
Nine, you stop being kind to each other.
Based on his studies, psychologist John Gottman can predict with up to 94% of certainty, which couples will be either broken up, or still happy and together many years down the road.
It all comes down to one factor, kindness.
The minute you show contempt for your partner, the less likely you already are to work things out.
Ten, you feel hopeless and give up on the relationship too soon.
Social media often shows you the sweet side of the relationships; the handholding, adorable pecks on the cheeks and anniversary celebrated.
But, behind the scenes, it takes hard work and commitment to keep the flame living.
When you give up too soon when the going get’s tough, you also miss out on building resilience together.
Which of these relationship mistakes do you often run into and what would you like to do differently now?
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