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  • - [Narrator] Getting old and dying alone

    - [旁白] 慢慢變老並孤獨死

  • is probably of the biggest fears that people have in life.

    或許是人生中最大的恐懼

  • We imagine being very old, having no spouse

    我們想像自己變老、沒有配偶

  • or significant other to love us

    或生命中重要的人愛你

  • and there's no one there to take care

    當自己逐漸邁向死亡時

  • of us when we are slowly dying.

    也沒有人照顧

  • To avoid this fear of ending up alone,

    為了防止孤獨死的恐懼發生

  • many people will select a partner

    很多人會找個

  • who may not be right for them.

    也許不太適合自己的伴侶

  • They think to themselves, this person is good enough

    他們心想:「這個人已經夠好了

  • even though I don't truly love them,

    即使我不是真的愛她

  • I won't die alone if I just stick with this one person."

    如果一直跟這個人在一起,我就不會孤獨死了」

  • This is ironic though, because selecting

    選擇伴侶很重要,因為如果

  • the wrong love partner will likely lead to divorce.

    你選錯了人,最後很有可能離婚

  • In the USA, 41% of first marriages end in divorce.

    在美國,首次婚姻中有百分之 41 以離婚收場

  • 60% of second marriages end in divorce

    二次婚姻中有百分之 60 以離婚收場

  • and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

    第三次婚姻中有百分之 73 以離婚收場

  • One of the reasons why I think the divorce rates

    我認為離婚率之所以那麼高的其中一種原因是

  • are so high, is because most people don't understand

    他們不知道該

  • how to love their partner and they also don't understand

    怎麼愛自己的另一半、也不知道

  • how they themselves like to receive love.

    另一半想要接受的愛

  • A very famous marriage counselor names Gary Chapman

    知名的婚姻顧問格里.查普曼

  • wrote a book called The Five Love Languages

    在他的著作《愛之語》

  • and he said, "Every single problem

    提到:「一段關係中

  • in any relationship can be tracked back

    產生的所有問題,都和

  • to these five love languages."

    這五種「愛的語言」有關

  • So here are the five languages.

    以下是五種「愛的語言」

  • Words of affirmation, quality time,

    「肯定的言詞」、「精心的時刻」

  • receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

    「接受禮物」、「服務的行動」以及「身體的接觸」

  • One of the reasons why I have such a great relationship

    我和女友的感情和睦的其中一種原因是

  • with my girlfriend is because we have

    我們擁有相同的

  • the same primary love language, which is physical touch.

    主要「愛的語言」,也就是「身體的接觸」

  • We both can just sit around for hours,

    我們可以坐在一起好幾個小時

  • just holding each other without having to do

    膩在一起、不需要特定活動

  • or think much but something else

    也不用想太多,但有件事對我來說

  • that is very important to me is quality time.

    很重要,那就是「精心的時刻」

  • Quality time means giving someone your undivided attention

    「精心的時刻」意思是,將目光全部專注在另一半身上

  • with absolutely no distractions

    不被任何事物分心

  • like checking your Twitter, Instagram,

    像是查看推特、IG

  • Facebook or your email.

    臉書或是電子郵件

  • To me, this is very important but for her,

    對我來說,「精心的時刻」很重要,但對她來說

  • she really needs words of affirmation

    她很需要「肯定的言詞」

  • like me telling her that I love her,

    像是告訴她我愛她

  • how pretty she is, how much she means to me,

    她有多美、她對我來說有多重要

  • that kind of thing.

    這類事情

  • But just because words of affirmation

    雖然「肯定的言詞」

  • are not that important to me, I don't make the mistake

    對我來說沒那麼重要,但我也不會犯

  • of not giving her those words of affirmation

    沒給她「肯定的言詞」這種錯誤

  • because I love her and I know that's how she likes

    因為我愛她,也知道她喜歡接受

  • to receive love and if I don't do these things,

    這種形式的愛,也知道如果我沒稱讚她的話

  • she will feel like that I don't love her

    她可能會覺得我不愛她了

  • or I'm losing interest in her.

    或是變心了

  • The whole point here is to find out

    重點是,找到

  • what your partner's needs are and to make sure

    另一半的需求,並確認

  • that you both speak the same primary love language

    雙方擁有相同的主要「愛的語言」

  • because if you guys speak totally different love languages,

    這是因為雙方的「愛的語言」完全不同的話

  • it's hard for a relationship to work out.

    感情會很難維持下去

  • Of course, you can learn your partner's language

    當然,你可以了解另一半的「愛的語言」

  • and you can start speaking it but in my opinion,

    並滿足她的需求,但我認為

  • it is probably just easier to pick someone

    找個跟自己一樣、使用相同

  • who speaks the same language as you

    「愛的語言」的另一半,會容易得多

  • but I do believe anything is possible.

    但我相信愛有無限可能

  • I don't think giving love in a way

    我不認為使用自己主要「愛的語言」

  • that is not in your primary love language

    之外的「語言」

  • will grow resentment towards your partner.

    會隨時間對另一半由愛生恨

  • Of course, you guys can have slight differences

    當然,你們可能會有些差異

  • and you may be more than one out of the five love languages,

    也許在五種「愛的語言」中,你的「語言」不只一種

  • like in my personal example but it all comes down

    像我個人的例子一樣,但關鍵都是

  • to understanding yourself and understanding

    了解自己,並了解

  • your partner's needs.

    另一半的需求

  • Take the time to really try and understand

    花些時間嘗試,並了解

  • what makes your partner tick and what makes them happy.

    對方的「愛的語言」,以及喜愛的事物

  • If you do this, I can promise you

    如果你試過這個方法,我保證

  • that it will improve your relationship drastically.

    你和另一半的感情會快速加溫

  • If you enjoy this video, please make sure

    如果你喜歡這部影片,記得

  • to subscribe because I make videos every single week.

    訂閱,因為我每週都會上傳新影片

  • I'll see you in the next one.

    下部影片再見

- [Narrator] Getting old and dying alone

- [旁白] 慢慢變老並孤獨死

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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 語言 婚姻 收場 孤獨 感情 時刻

陽剛男人:如何談戀愛? (Masculine Man: How To Fall in Love)

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    羅世康 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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