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  • - Next.

    - 下一個

  • Next. Next.

    下一個下一個

  • Oh, sorry.

    哦,對不起。

  • I'm gonna have to pull you aside. - For real?

    我得把你拉到一邊去。 - 真的嗎?

  • - You see, we have to pull out one white person for every 20 brown people so we don't seem racist.

    - 你看,我們必須拉出一個白色的人 每20個棕色的人,所以我們不顯得種族主義。

  • Just, uh, pretend like I'm searching you for weapons.

    只是,呃,假裝我在搜查你的武器。

  • - Yeah, I should let you know I do have a hunting knife and a small handgun on me, so...

    - 是的,我應該讓你知道我有一把獵刀和一把小手槍在我身上,所以... ...

  • - No, you're good, man. - Cool.

    - 不,你很好,夥計。 - 很好

  • - Yeah. - Pow.

    - 是啊。 - Pow.

  • - Yeah. Have a good one out there.

    - 是啊,有一個好的在那裡。

  • Next.

    下一個

  • Every Airport ever

    每個機場

  • - Okay, here's your boarding pass, and you are aware that our carry-on policy is one bag that doesn't exceed 45 inches or 40 pounds.

    - 好了,這是你的登機牌,你也知道我們的隨身行李政策是一個不超過45英寸或40磅的包。

  • (Silence)

    (沉默)

  • - Totally. (rapid unzipping)

    - 完全是。(快速解壓)

  • - Oh, wow. - Thanks, ma'am.

    - 哦,哇。 - 謝謝,夫人。

  • Whoa!

    哇!

  • - Sir, we're gonna need to check your assh--e.

    - 先生,我們需要檢查你的屁股... ... E。

  • - Remember, all liquids over the 3.4-ounce limit are prohibited. Either dump it out, or drink it now.

    - 記住,所有超過3.4盎司限制的液體都是禁止飲用的。要麼倒掉,要麼現在就喝掉。

  • - Argh!

    - 啊!

  • My water! (gulping)

    我的水!(大口喝水)

  • - Oh, my toothpaste!

    - 哦,我的牙膏!

  • - Ah, my liquid bombs!

    - 啊,我的液體炸彈!

  • (gulping)

    (哽咽)

  • 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,279 (screaming)

    00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,279 (尖叫)

  • (Bang)

    (砰)

  • - Please remove all watches and jewelry..

    - 請把所有的手錶和珠寶取走。

  • - Sir, we need to pat you down.

    - 先生,我們需要拍拍你。

  • - I'm gonna use the backs of my hands.

    - 我要用我的手背。

  • (detector warbles and beeps)

    (檢測器響聲和蜂鳴聲)

  • Clear. Thank you so much, sir.

    清楚了非常感謝你,先生。

  • Next.

    下一個

  • - But couldn't they just take two 3-ounce bombs and then make a bomb with that?

    - 但他們就不能拿兩顆3盎司的炸彈,然後用它做一個炸彈嗎?

  • (In an Outbackish Accent) Hi, yes.

    (內陸口音)嗨,是的。

  • I've lost my suitcase.

    我的行李箱丟了

  • - Okay, can you describe it for me?

    - 好吧,你能為我描述一下嗎?

  • - Oh, yes, sure, it's-- it's black.

    - 哦,是的,當然,這是 - 這是黑色的。

  • And it's got a zipper on it and wheels on the back so you wheel it around, and there's no name tags on it.

    而且上面有拉鍊,後面有輪子,所以你可以輪著走,而且上面沒有名牌。

  • - Right? Uh, maybe you can help me with something a little more distinct.

    - 對吧? Right? - Uh, maybe you can help me with something more distinct.呃,也許你可以幫助我的東西 更獨特一點。

  • - Right, right. Ah yes, there's clothes inside of it.

    - 對,對。啊,對了,裡面有衣服。

  • - Something that might help set it apart from literally every other suitcase on the planet and probably other planets.

    - 這可能有助於將它與地球上所有其他行李箱,甚至其他星球的行李箱區分開來。

  • - Right, right. I got a toothbrush.

    - 好吧,好吧,我有牙刷了我有一個牙刷。

  • Little toothbrush in there.

    小牙刷在那裡。

  • - Great, can you tell me the color of the toothbrush?

    - 太好了,你能告訴我牙刷的顏色嗎?

  • - I cannot. I brush my teeth in the dark with my eyes closed. I'm afraid of my own smile.

    - 我不能。我閉著眼睛在黑暗中刷牙。我害怕自己的笑容。

  • - Welcome to the airport, and you're sick.

    - 歡迎來到機場,你生病了。

  • (beep) - I'm sorry, sir. Step aside. I'm just gonna pat you down with the backs of my hands.

    對不起,先生。站到一邊去。我只是要拍你下來 用我的手背。

  • - Yeah, I know the drill.

    - 是的,我知道該怎麼做

  • - Wait, haven't I seen you like four times today already?

    - 等等,我今天不是已經見過你四次了嗎?

  • - Yeah, I realized getting pat down by the TSA is the most human contact I've had since my breakup with Denise.

    - 是啊,我意識到被TSA安檢是我和Denise分手後接觸最多的人情世故。

  • - Turn around.

    - 轉身

  • - Tell you what, I am done with women.

    - 告訴你吧,我對女人已經沒興趣了。

  • - Arms up.

    - 胳膊抬起來。

  • - I don't even have a flight today.

    - 我今天連飛機都沒有。

  • - Turn back around.

    - 轉身回去。

  • - You can, uh-- you can use the front of your hands if you want.

    - 你可以,呃... ... 你可以用你的手的前面,如果你想。

  • - Sir, I don't--

    - 先生,我不...

  • - Shh. No one has to know.

    - 噓,沒有人知道。沒有人知道。

  • - Does my baby count as carry-on or checked luggage?

    - 我的寶寶是算作隨身行李還是托運行李?

  • - (sighing) Oh, God.

    - (嘆氣)哦,上帝。

  • Yeah, I lost my suitcase.

    是啊,我的手提箱丟了

  • - Okay, can you describe it for me?

    - 好吧,你能為我描述一下嗎?

  • - Sure, it's black. It has wheels and zippers. Oh.

    - 當然,它是黑色的。它有輪子和拉鍊。哦,是的

  • And I left it in the cab on the way here.

    我在來的路上把它留在了駕駛室裡。

  • - (heavy sigh)

    - (沉重的嘆息)

  • Great, just give me one second.

    很好,就給我一秒鐘。

  • - Sure, thank you.

    - 當然,謝謝你。

  • - Hi, security? This man has a bomb.

    - 嗨,保全?這個人有一個炸彈。

  • - Hold on, wait. What? Aah!

    - 等等,等一下什麼? - 啊!啊!

  • (thuds, groans)

    (砰,呻吟)

  • Every Airport Ever

    每一個機場

  • - Hey, guys.

    - 嘿,夥計們。

  • Thank you so much for watching this video, and for those of you that have never been to an airport before, I

    非常感謝你看這個視頻,對於那些從來沒有去過機場的人來說,我。

  • hope you did-- you still laughed, and since there's a McDonald's in every airport, click the box on the left to watch Every

    希望你做到了... ... 你還是笑了,因為有一個麥當勞 在每一個機場,點擊左邊的框 觀看每一個。

  • McDonald's Ever.

    麥當勞曾經。

  • And if you want to see our fun little musical where we thank you guys, click the box on the right, and

    如果你想看我們的有趣的小音樂劇,我們感謝你們,點擊右邊的盒子,然後。

  • And Uhh - I guess we'll see you next time. Love you. Bye.

    我想我們下次再見吧愛你。愛你。 再見。

- Next.

- 下一個

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 機場 牙刷 炸彈 行李箱 先生 拉鍊

在機場總會遇到的鳥事 (EVERY AIRPORT EVER)

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    Johnny Tsai 發佈於 2018 年 01 月 18 日
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