SKETCH

SKETCH

This is you.

這是你

This is your girlfriend.

這是你的女友

And these are,

而這些是：

Your Girlfriend's Six Friends.

你女友的六種朋友

The Possessive One

佔有慾超強型

Nobody loves your girlfriend more than you.

沒有人比你更愛你的女友

Almost.

幾乎

(phone ringing)

電話鈴聲

(Guy) Megan? No.

不要接電話

Call her back.

等下再回撥給她就好

She seems to have issues with boundaries.

她似乎沒有「界線」的概念

Gah!

天阿

You didn't answer your phone.

你怎麼不接我電話

Except one, that is.

除了在這個時候：

Sorry. Girl's night.

抱歉啦，今晚是只有女生的夜晚

(laughing) C'mon girl!

來吧親愛的！

Your boyfriend gets you all to himself.

妳男友每次都只想到他

He's not even fun or rich or anything...

他甚至還很無聊，也不有錢

- (Friend continues talking) - A man can only take so much.

是個男人都不能忍

You're a crazy friendship pirate!

你這個瘋狂朋友！

Too much?

太超過了嗎？

The Gay BFF

Gay 朋友型

You know he's gay but, c'mon.

你知道他是同性戀，但是..

There's a lot of potential here.

什麼事都可能發生

He acts like he knows everything.

他一臉萬事通的樣子

Just because he's gay doesn't mean-

只因為他是 gay 不代表--

Hey, these pants actually look pretty good!

他推薦的褲子真的蠻帥的

You look so great!

你看起來超帥的！

Honey! Look at you!

寶貝，你真帥

Yeah, you like this guy.

沒錯，你喜歡這個老兄

But not in a gay way...

但不是 gay 的喜歡

The One You Have A Crush On

你偷偷暗戀型

There's your girl.

這是你的女孩

Your soulmate. The only woman you'll ever-

你的靈魂伴侶，你唯一的女...

Honey! Have you met Amanda?

寶貝，我有介紹給你 Amanda 嗎？

Aaahh...yaaah...ah, I mean, I mean...more words.

阿阿..快說點話

Amanda, my friend Carla is here...

Amanda ， Carla 在那邊，我們去打招呼！

Why can't your girlfriend have uglier friends?

你女友為什麼不能有個醜的朋友就好？

And then she said,

然後她說

you're the bitch!

你才是婊子

What?? (laughs)

什麼？？

(man giggles)

男人痴笑

Do you have a crush on Amanda?

你暗戀 Amanda 嗎？

OK, think Kennedy, Clinton.

好，想想甘迺迪或柯林頓

That other, less popular candidate.

或其他比較不熱門的候選人

♪ (Hail to the Chief) ♪

音樂

I believe that both my girlfriend and her friend

我認為我的女友和她朋友

are equally hot.

擁有相等的辣度

- (applause) - There is nothing wrong with that.

這沒有錯

(louder applause)

掌聲

What? No...

什麼？才沒有！

She's attractive. In a slutty way!

她很吸引人，但是太放蕩了！

Not in a slutty way...

不是放蕩啊..

I love you!

我愛你

I wish you were friends with more homeless people.

我希望你多跟街友當朋友

The Guy Friend

真男人型

According to her,

根據她的說法

they've been BFFs forevsies.

他們一直是最好的朋友

(unintelligible yelling)

興奮地吼叫

The inside jokes don't help.

那個笑話也沒有幫助

Oh my god!

我的天啊

This whole friendship thing drives you crazy.

這整個友情讓你嫉妒得發狂

You feel like the guy from A Beautiful Mind.

你感覺像美麗境界的男主角 (患有思覺失調症)

Maybe this is OK.

也許沒事

There are different types of love, right?

世上有很多種愛啊

Sure, they're friends,

他們當然是朋友

but they'll never have the raw physical attraction that you two-

但他們永遠不會有那種原始的生理吸引力，像你跟她一樣

- OK, that's enough. - That's enough!!

- 這樣有點太超過了 - 這太超過了！

The Attention Hog

喜歡注目型

- She'll do anything for attention. - (Girl in back) Hey guys! Heeey!

- 為了引起注意，她願意做任何事 - 嘿大家，快看我！

You guys think there's needles in here?

你覺得這裡面會有針嗎？

You think she enjoys breakups more than actual relationships.

你覺得跟戀愛比起來，她其實更享受分手

Mark broke up with me!

馬克跟我分手了！

Peter won't call me back!!

彼得不回我電話！

Obama won't write me back!!

歐巴馬不回信給我！

I will never be as happy as you guys.

我永遠都得不到幸福

(stomach rumble) Excuse me.

不好意思

She has a compulsive need to share her every thought and emotion.

她有種強迫症要分享她每一個想法和情緒

I just took the most humungoid crap.

我剛剛拉了一坨超大的屎

It's possible you can use this.

你可以試試看這個：

Are you on Twitter?

你有 Twitter 帳號嗎？

No...

沒有

I gotta show you this, you're gonna love this.

你一定要試試看，你一定會喜歡的

- So, you just type in... - OK...

- 你只要打字 .. - 嗯哼

(Friend) Guys, guys!

各位！

I got five favorites on my garbage tweet!!

我的垃圾袋 tweet 有五人喜歡！

You

你 型

You love your girlfriend.

你愛你的女友

Not just because she's smart, and funny,

不只是因為她聰明、有趣

and because she knows what a beaglepuss is,

知道什麼是搞笑眼鏡

but because she's your friend.

而是因為她也是你的朋友

And like any good friend,

就像其他你最好的朋友

you'd do anything for her.

你願意為她做任何事

Including putting up with all her other friends.

包括接受她的朋友們

After all, she puts up with yours.

畢竟她也願意接受你的朋友

Hey man, think I could get a ride home?

嘿，你可以送我回家嗎？

I just shit my pants...

我剛剛挫屎在褲子上了