[SCREAMING AND CLAPPING]

[尖叫聲和掌聲]

Are you ready?

大家準備好了嗎？

You ready?

期待嗎？

Yes!

好！

Yesterday, Apple made a huge announcement.

昨天，蘋果發布了大消息

That's my announcement.

這是我的大消息

[LAUGHING]

[笑聲]

It just seemed like everybody was so excited

你知道，大家都對於蘋果的發佈會

about their announcement, so I thought

都這麼興奮！所以我想說...

if I also said I have a huge, I would get the same kind of, so.

如果我也說我要發布一個大消息，大家也會注意我

Anyway.

好啦

Yeah.

就是這樣

They announced that the iPhone X is out now.

他們宣布推出 iPhone X

So the iPhone X .

所以這個 iPhone X 呢..

If anyone has an iPhone, just throw that away.

如果有人是用 iPhone 的，現在立刻把它丟掉

Just immediately on your way out just

立刻！等下出去的時候

find a trash can and toss it.

找個垃圾桶丟了

Here's what happened yesterday.

這是昨天的情形：

They announced the iPhone 8 and then five minutes later they

他們推出了 iPhone 8，然後五分鐘後

announced the new iPhone X .

推出全新的 iPhone X

So the iPhone 8 is already out.

所以 iPhone 8 已經過時了

They went from 8 to 10, and I bet

從 8 到 10 ，而且我猜

you're wondering what happened to iPhone 9?

你們一定會想說 iPhone 9 去哪兒了？

I think it's clear.

邏輯在這嘛！

Seven eight (ate) nine.

七把九吃掉了 (註：英文的「八」與「吃掉」發音相似)

[Applause]

[拍手]

Get it?

懂了嗎

Seven eight (ate) nine.

七吃了九

Anybody have kids?

有人有小孩嗎？

I'm not going to talk about the 8, because who cares?

今天我不會提到 8 ，誰在乎呢？

I'm going to talk about the 10,

我要來聊聊 10

and I have one of those clickers they use at Apple

我還拿了蘋果新品發佈會會用的簡報器

for the big presentations.

為了那種「重大」發佈會

And so.

所以呢

All right, so here this is the iPhone, this is iPhone X.

這個是 iPhone X

And it sells for $1,000.

然後它要一千美元

[BOOING]

[噓聲]

The X stands for expensive.

X 是「昂貴」這個字的縮寫

[LAUGHING]

[大笑]

Expensive.

超級貴

Here's one of the big changes right here.

這是第一個革命的改變

The glass is not only in the front,

玻璃不只是在前面

and now it is also in the back.

現在後面也有了！

So now you can break both sides.

所以兩邊現在都可以被你摔爆

Yeah.

沒錯

Yeah.

你知道的

It's for those of us who crack the front and thought,

這是為了那些只把前螢幕摔爆的人，

I could do better.

蘋果就想說，我可以讓你們做得更好

I know I can.

我知道我本人一定可以

No, it's actually a good thing, because now you

但它其實是個好設計，因為現在

can charge your phone without plugging it in.

你可以不用充電線就充電

Yeah.

沒錯

You put it on like a hot plate.

你可以把它放在熱盤子上

Any hot plate, I think.

所有的熱盤子都行

You just turn it up as hot as it goes,

我相信盤子越熱

and I think that charges faster.

它就會充得越快

Hot plates are going to sell out.

熱盤子即將銷售一空

Hot plates are going to sell like hot plates, you guys.

熱盤子會熱銷到不行

They also made the screen bigger.

蘋果也把螢幕變大了

It's not that big.

也沒那麼大啦

That's not life size.

那不是真的比例尺

That'd be ridiculous.

這樣真的太扯了

It's 5.8 inches and 4.8 when it's cold.

它平常是 5.8 吋，當它冷的時候是 4.8 吋

And--

而且

[LAUGHING]

[大笑]

[APPLAUSE]

[鼓掌]

Thank you.

謝謝

And here's the coolest part.

最酷炫的部分是這個

To unlock your phone, it uses facial recognition.

解鎖你的手機的方法變成臉部辨識了！

Look at this.

看這個

This is so weird.

這真的太詭異了

I don't even know how this is working.

我都不知道這個東西怎麼運作

This is my garage clicker.

這其實是我車庫的遙控器

But anyways.

不管了

It works. So it uses facial recognition,

它就是可以用啦。 所以這個臉部辨識

and here's how it works.

它是這麼運作的

You just, you look at it, and it opens it.

你只要看著它，它就會啟動

And the technology is so smart all you have to do

科技已經進步到你只需要

is scan your face once.

掃描你的臉一次

And then again after you get a haircut.

如果你有去做頭髮就要多一次

And then again after you get a nose job.

鼻子微調也要多掃一次

And then again after you buy a hat.

買帽子也是

And then again when you finally lose that 15 pounds

如果妳瘦了 15 磅又要再來一次

you've been trying to lose.

就是你一直以來的目標

And then again when you gain that 15 pounds back.

當你復胖回來的時候又要一次

The iPhone's going to keep you busy, you guys.

iPhone 會讓你很忙喔！

I think I've said enough to Apple.

我覺得我幫 Apple 業配很多了

They could maybe send me a free phone.

他們也許會寄一支免費的給我

Don't you think I've said enough maybe?

你們不覺得我業配很多嗎？

[APPLAUSE]

[鼓掌]